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« Our Column in the 12/1 Issue of Soap Opera Digest | Main | We Are Shopping Enablers »

November 26, 2009

In Which We Give Soapy Thanks

We know what you're thinking: "You two bitter bitches are thankful for soap-related things? I am so sure!"

But maybe we're getting caught up in the sentimentality of the Thanksgiving season. Or maybe our pumpkin baked-goods high is clouding our judgment. Or maybe we are just so giddy at the prospect of a long weekend that we are seeing beauty in the unlikeliest of places (It turns out that squirrels aren't hideous beasts after all! Who knew?). Either way, we are thankful for many soap-related things!

We have not murdered our beloved twin brother while being drugged by the local nefarious doctor.

We have not been incarcerated and then on the run for a murder we did not commit, yet inexplicably confessed to.

We know how to pronounce "manipulate" properly.

We have never been on the receiving end of a patented Ryan Lavery bug-eyed, rage-filled smackdown.

We have never been murdered and then had our heretofore unknown twin sister come to town in order to prey on our emotionally vulnerable family and con them out of money. And then fall in love with our fiance. And then languish on the backburner before being fired.

The cops in our towns are waaaay smarter than 99% of the ones in soapland.

We have not been forced to give birth (after high-risk pregnancies) in a remote cabin with hands-on assistance from the nutbar responsible for putting our son in comas.

Our hair is not judged against Megan Ward's and Allison Sweeney's.

We have not had barware flung at our head in the midst of an argument.

We have not been gaslighted by our stepson, or had a miscarriage because of the machinations of that stepson, or had that stepson fake our pregnancy and then engage in a baby switch. 

We do not have grandmothers that frequently tries to kill or ruin us.  (Well, not recently anyway, and not intentionally...)

We have not had a long-lost son come back from the dead ten years too young and way more Australian than he ought to be and then have it turn out that he's not actually our son at all but an impostor and that our son actually really is alive and was just hiding out for two decades to deal with his secret pain.

Victor Newman is not a real person.

We aren't romantically involved with men who might reply to the innocent query "How was work today?" with a list of violent felonies.

All My Children is taking the writing of the show in a new direction, continues to employ David Canary, and...um, is only an hour long.

Days of Our Lives has at least temporarily forgotten that it sucked and was nearly canceled and is operating as a quite entertaining daily hour of drama.

James Scott got a haircut.  (This may be responsible for the immediately preceding thanks-worthy event.)

General Hospital has a casting department that does what the writing department cannot (awesome things, awesomely), and/or James Franco got really stoned or very broke and agreed to the heretofore unimaginable.

The Young and the Restless still has stellar writing; some ultra-soapy behind-the-scenes drama; some of the best actors in the business; and the smarts to give Doug Davidson increased screentime, resulting in what is, so far, the greatest soap moment in the entire decade, if not the past century.

We're also thankful for the fine folks at Soap Opera Digest, our amazing guest-blogger Louise and the best readers in the blogosphere.

Happy Thanksgiving all!

Comments

Hilarious. . .and a GH attempt at a genuine Thanksgiving epi. . .no Sonny or Jason, and no killing in sight! Whoohoo! Edward even sang the song.

Happy Thanksgiving to the best bloggers on the web! Anyone who watches GH so that I don't have to is number one in my book.

Thanks for continuing to take us on your snarky soap journey.

Oh, thanks for that, and thanks from me for giving me an outlet! I'll play from the OLTL land:

Thankful that...

-I have only one personality (technically)

-My dad's not a cult leader

-My mom would probably not be replaced by a new mom-actress if she thought I was gay

-I've probably already thought of ALL the possible dads of any long-lost children I might have; no surprises in 7/15 years

-No Russian mobsters see me as a target

-I remembered to walk my dog today and every day, and just 'cause I fell in love with my hot roomie who moved out and then back in with me and my super-hot other (gay) roomie, I still remember my dog

-My dad is lovely and would totally never make my OB-GYN commit suicide or steal my kid

...That's all I got, even though there's so much more. Thanks, Serial Drama!

-Louise

I was so pleased to see Edward Q singing :) Loved the fact that they were having pizza.

Happy Holidays All!

Happy Holidays Lovely Bloggers!!!! Special thanks for Serial Drama, the a gift that gives year round :-)

I am also soapy thankful for the following...

-Sonny Super Sperm Corinthos is NOT my father! Yipeeee :-)

-I am solely responsible for all I say, Pratt Guza Phelps etc... have ZERO input!

-There are WAY more than two places to eat and one place to drink where I live :-)

NOTE: I wish I had been aware sooner that by using your link to Amazon you'd get some financial compensation. Sorry to be such a blog moron :-( I used it today and will use it every time I Amazon shop, I promise! Someone else should benefit from my monthly Amazon purchases. I am so glad it will be you.

I'm from Canada and would shop online at amazon.ca. If I go to amazon.ca from your link to amazon.com (on their page) do you still get the $$$??

Thanks Sarah and bethie! bethie, I am going to check with Amazon on the .ca issue.

Y&R still has stellar writing? I quit this show a few months ago because the writing is horrendous.

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