The Fanboy and the Hitman
Any ambivalence I had about the Franco and Jason scenes of Thursday's episode went quickly out the window today, because the entirety of their time together had me giggling with delight. Delight that rivaled the look of delight on Franco's face whenever he looked at Jason!
Franco, offering Jason snacks: Chips and dip, M&Ms...only have the red ones, though. The other colors taste different. Have you ever noticed that?
(He REPEATEDLY offered Jason chips and dip throughout the episode and pointed out that the dip was spinach and artichoke, as if that would sweeten the pot!)
Franco: Conviction set aside for the murder of Luis Alcazar. Acquitted in the trial of his brother Lorenzo. What is it with you and this family?...and you shot up a church. Ever worry about eternal damnation there, Jase?
Franco: I would have thought that you'd see it instantly.
Jason: See what?
Franco: Us. We're the same.
Franco: Let's review: we're both obsessed with death, but today, who isn't? We're both obsessed with death. And we're both artistes.
Franco: Like I said, soulmates! You don't give a second thought to those you kill. You're not eaten up with regret, guilt. You murder, and then you leave the emotional baggage for someone else. THAT is art.
Jason: Is that what you do? Do you kill people? How many?
Franco: Gosh, who keeps count these days? Do you actually put notches somewhere?
Franco: I've killed dozens of times, in many different ways ::breaks into a demented, blissful smile:: All in my imagination!
Jason: About Claudia Corinthos--
Franco: 1,023 [seconds. He counted the seconds! DIES AND IS DEAD--Ed.]! That seemed like that took forever, didn't it? From now on, I'm not counting on you to pick up the conversation.
Franco: I swear, I almost started crying, for joy.
Franco: Unless you left [Joey Limbo] for me? So we could work together? Thank you...thank you so much. Now tell me we weren't separated at birth!
Franco: You and your girlfriend slamming into that cabin like Starsky and Hutch...
IS THIS REAL LIFE?
It's like the show finally said, "You know what? I am an absurd, terrible, murder-fetishizing show with an unhealthy love of a morally corrupt killer. Why not just go all out?" And then it did. And I enjoyed every minute of it.
The fact that I am now on the record as unreservedly praising General Hospital is shameful enough (although I hope to retain a small amount of street cred since I do recognize that some of the greatness of this Franco story is of the "so bad its..." variety), but how am I supposed to cope with the fact that I am unreservedly praising Bob Guza's words? He wrote all the Franco story, dialogue and all...dialogue that literally made me laugh out loud and clap my hands like a demented seal.
Damn it! You've won this round, Guza.
(Although the Franco half of the dialogue wasn't too much of a writerly stretch for him, was it? It's not like he needed to search for inspiration for how to write a Jason-obsessed maniac)
(Also, the fact that he knows that Michael killed Claudia confirms that he will be murdered by Jason. We all assumed that, but now it's a certainty)
The parts of the show not dealing with the epic Jason/Franco romance varied from very good to very bad to "Write about it? I'm going to pretend I never saw it."
If Franco didn't exist, Diane would have been my favorite part of today's episode, on her way out the door after trying to explain to Sonny that (A) he doesn't get to decide when the cops close a case and (B) dry-humping a new girlfriend while his wife is still considered "missing" isn't the best of ideas.
Diane: Stop acting like a hormonal teenager. No wonder there is such a surplus of Corinthos progeny!
Ugh, speaking of Sonny being a hormonal teenager: are we supposed to swoon at the elaborate setup he planned to get Olivia into a hotel room with a romantic meal all set up? Because I have to tell you, luring a woman to an empty room under false pretenses and jumping out of the shadows doesn't come across as "romantic hero" so much as it does "horror movie villain".
Spinelli overheard Maxie and Sam discussing the former's rendezvous with Franco (the one that she claims she was powerless to, because he was as mesmerizing as a cult leader, or something) and I prepared myself for angst and wounded looks and horribleness.
But Bradford Anderson gave a tremendous performance. And that's not me being a bitch, although that's an easy assumption to make since this performance actually had no words. I mean it, though! He was silent, but he conveyed a whole world of hurt without speaking and I think it was really effective. And that's coming from someone who has no emotion at all invested in this pairing. Kudos, to BA.
How much did I love Dante and Lucky? SO much. I loved Lucky figuring Dante's deal out, I loved their banter, I loved how they teased Lulu and I love that two cops were allowed to be all smart and charming.
Dare I hope that this signals the dawn of a new era? This IS GH, so, um, I probably shouldn't, since I'll only wind up disappointed.
I have no idea what the hell is going on with Rebecca taunting Nikolas and wanting Lucky, and I don't particularly care (sad, isn't it, that my fondness for Rebecca lasted all of one hour? Boo!) but it led to Liz's hilarious
Elizabeth: Is that bitch insane?
The answer is yes, and also I know she is, but what are you?
Because REALLY, Liz, what are you thinking? You know Steven wanted to ask her exactly that when she confessed to him that she's engaged to Lucky but sexing Nik. But he didn't get the chance to ask her, because there was absolutely no follow up to that scene at all! NONE! The least the show could have done was not have Steven leave, off-screen, but just had Elizabeth explain to Nikolas when he showed up, "My brother is here, passed out. He lost consciousness due to the horror of hearing about the thing we've got going on". It would be follow up AND a rational reaction to hearing that news!