AMC + My Fast Forward Button = MFEO
It took me almost exactly ten minutes to watch today's episode of All My Children, thanks to lots of "Wow, it is not physically possible for me to be less interested in this" and "Oh, oh, MY EYES, CAN'T WATCH" scenes. And ten minutes is actually a shockingly long time to spend watching this particular episode, when you think about it, since it featured lots of Randi, and Greenlee mooning over Ryan.
So I am going to touch on some points from today's show briefly, with no real depth or analysis, because it seems silly to spend more time writing about the show than I did watching it, or than the actual show writers spent writing it.
But, first, two points that aren't actually about today's episode:
I was completely saddened to hear about James Mitchell passing away. My love of Palmer is well-documented, and I won't lie, I teared up when I saw the news. He was always so fantastic, from Oklahoma to All My Children(please note: I could not pick my favorite Palmer clips, since they are all awesome, so I just chose three at random. I think the moment in one of those clips where David refers to Palmer and Adam as the "crotchety old men in the balcony on the Muppets" is my new favorite thing). I'm glad that we at least saw him briefly on the 40th Anniversary show! The show will be doing a memorial episode to air this spring. I demand LOTS of old clips, AMC! LOTS!
And then there is the news that David Kreizman and Donna Swajeski are taking over as AMC head-writers. I have learned from experience not to express even a moment of optimism when it comes to a new AMC writing staff, so I will not do that now, but I WILL say that Frons's statement is worrisome, because I am imagining what "integrity" means in his warped universe, and it scares me.
"David and Donna are the perfect team to bring new ideas to All My Children while remaining true to its core by telling stories with a focus on the integrity of the show's history, its characters and families on the canvas," said Brian Frons, President, Daytime, Disney ABC-Television Group.
So, okay, back to today's show:
- Greenlee and Erica's rivalry always amuses me and it now has an extra edge due to Ryan and Erica...Ryan and Ericaing. And while I eagerly anticipate the epic tantrum Greenlee will throw upon learning that news, I can't help but feel that the show is going a bit over-the-top in re-establishing said rivalry. Like, when Greenlee was all
Greenlee: How would you like it if you went away for a little while and someone stole something you poured your heart and soul into?
Uh, it's not like you went away for the weekend and Erica said, "You know what would be funsies? Taking Fusion from Greenlee". They thought you were DEAD for almost a year.
I am torn: do I want the show to continue to refer to Kendall, or to stop any and all mentions of that curly-haired delight? Because obviously, she's a huge part of the show and has important ties in Pine Valley...but on the other hand, whenever someone says her name, I start to pay closer attention to the scene and am inevitably disappointed when I remember that she's not on the show anymore.
- I resent this show trying to get me to care about Tad and Liza by manufacturing all sorts of stupid angst for them, especially when said angst means that Damon and Bailey wind up on-screen.
- Is Madison actually reformed, or is she secretly crazy?
- Denise Vasi is so uncomfortable to watch. There was a scene today where all she had to do was silently react to what Madison was saying, so...she pretty much had to blink and not fall over. And it was still stilted and unnatural. How can someone so beautiful make me so sad?
Debbi Morgan and Darnell Williams are too good for this show and certainly too good for a lame story about being overworked. Really, AMC, that is the best you can do for Jesse and Angie? Puh-lease.
Erica: Look, I think the idea of escaping to a tropical island with you, I think that's wonderful. And if you want to go horseback riding, you want to go para-sailing, I'm going to saddle up, I'm going to fly right beside you. But I don't need any of that to have fun. I just need you.
I had to rewind that a few times to fully understand what she said, because I couldn't hear her over the sound of my gasping and choking. And before you ask, I needed to fully understand what she said because I am a masochist.
Speaking of Ryan and Erica, I did love when David explained that the news of their hookup would devastate Greenlee:
David: I think it's going to break her heart.
Gayle: You think she's going to fall apart?
David: Yes, I do.
As someone who has fallen apart thanks to this couple, I can confirm from experience that David is completely correct.
Am I being a Bitter Betty for no real reason, or is this show as dull and lame as I think it is?