Faster Than A Speeding Bullet
I was going to apologize for this being a drive-by post*, but then I said to myself, "Kyle**, why should I spend more time writing a blog post than the writers spend crafting entire plots?"
In a spectacular example of why you should be careful what you wish for, The Young and the Restless seems to have responded to complaints about the long-ago era where it took a full decade for stories to play out from start to finish by giving viewers stories that move at warp speed. Sharon and Adam? Ridiculous. Jack and Emily? LAUGHABLY BAD. Do you know what it says about a story when I, of the confirmed over-the-top...well, I like to think of it as "appreciation for", but others refer to it as "stalkerish love of" Peter Bergman can't even sit through Jack and Emily scenes? It says a lot, and none of it good.
Why are these things happening so quickly?! There is honestly more character development and plot build-up in the average music video.
I do have other quibbles.
The first, to no one's surprise, is Sharon's hair, which distracted me to no end during the otherwise great scene where she confronted Jack.
Sharon: You know, that is exactly what I said. I just wish that you had sat down and talked to me about this, Jack, before you did something so impulsive.
Chloe: Okay, powder room break?
Emily: Oh, actually, I'd like to hear what Sharon has to say.
Sharon: Well, then you should have been in my living room last night when Jack was attacking my marriage, pretending to be my friend.
Jack: I am your friend.
Sharon: Oh, really? Well, then I hope that you will enjoy this bottle of bubbly, because you're gonna need it to wash down all those words you're about to eat.
Jack: This is not the time.
Sharon: Yes, now is exactly the time. You come to my door and you condemn me for eloping with Adam, claiming that I'm unstable?
Jack: I never said that.
Sharon: What? Yes, you did. You must have a selective memory, Jack, which is probably why you neglected to tell me you're engaged to a woman who you've known for, what, ten minutes?
Compelling stuff, right?! So why was the only thing running through my mind, "...how does that even HAPPEN?"
She needs an intervention.
The second quibble is Malcolm.
Maybe I shouldn't call it a quibble. Maybe I should call it something I am having a REALLY hard time with. Because I'm trying so hard not to pre-judge, which is unlike me, but you know, new year, new you, etc. I actually originally typed "Malcolm" and I deleted the sarcastic airquotes, because that's not fair to Darius McCrary. THAT's progress, right? Because it's not his fault that I am used to Shemar Moore, no doubt due to watching Criminal Minds near obsessively and seeing him daily (I actually just stopped referring to HIM as Malcolm in, like, October). And it's also not his fault that I was a big fan of TGIF on ABC as a child and will therefore always think of him first and foremost as Eddie Winslow (if it makes him feel any better, I think of nearly all TGIF alums as their character. Just ask William Russ!).
BUT. In the LOVE column: Jo Jo.
I think I may be obsessed with her, if by "obsessed" you mean "fascinated enough by her to consider watching a Jo Jo spinoff and DVRing every minute of said spinoff. Or writing said spinoff if no one else recognizes the entertainment world's need for it".
*I actually do apologize for that, and for the lateness with which I will bringing you the Young and the Restless year-in-review and more posts. I am the worst!
**I still have a couple more weeks for random Boy Meets World references and I plan to use them, even if Tucker has nothing to do with the topic at hand.