Let Me Hear Your Body Talk (Your body ta-alk...)
Well, we can't call it a subtle episode, now, can we? Starting with yesterday's title...
Although they didn't really need the parenthetical, since we never really got that far.
I'm all for episodes with unity, and this one had it in spades. We had the physically cute...
Destiny and Shaun working out together because they both got rejected. It was actually completely adorable. Also, I felt for her. I totally did those butt exercises this morning and they kill.
And we had the hot...
Clearly that requires no explanation. Cristian got a haircut, though. Weigh in! I haven't quite decided how I feel about it yet.
We had a sweet first kiss...
Aww. I found it a bit hard to swallow that they discussed it so frankly, though. First kisses are usually all kinds of awkward posturing.
There was some dull stuff with the teen set, too, but of course the focal point of the episode was the "parallel" sex scenes. Now, I'm not generally spoiled, but I did have some idea this was going to happen today and was dreading it. But I have to say -- and I know some Blair fans are probably seething today because (a) she can do better and (b) she slept with a man who "really" wants Tea and was just using her to forget that, but here's the thing. I am assuming I was supposed to be watching this juxtaposition and thinking, "Oh, Todd and Tea made love and whispered sweet nothings and shared something meaningful," and, "Ew, Eli and Blair had cheap tawdry sex because they're pathetic people who couldn't have who they really wanted," right? Was I? Because I can't tell. Maybe this is revealing a little too much about myself here, but this one's no contest for me. I could have this:
Boy is Todd hot in that sweatsuit.
Or I could have this:
Yeah, so far I'm not torn.
Or would I rather be doing:
Again, which woman am I supposed to be envying? I am not having any inner conflict here.
So my afterglow could include...
Or it could include...
And yeah, yeah, I know Todd and Tea were supposed to be having "farewell" sex, but I'm not new to this show or Carlivati's feelings about this couple, so I know that's not even close to the case. And since when did these two get all loving and cutesy-pie anyway? Was that ever really their appeal? Anyway, back to the issue at hand:
Ah, those moments after. Or:
I wish I could say it was out of good taste that I'm not showing you a screencap of the very major claw marks down Eli's back, but it's really just because I can't get a shot with enough clarity.
Ultimately, while I could've done without the constant mentions of forgetting Todd and Tea, there was no need for all the dread. Blair had a total blast with a sexy, successful (if over-shaven) dude, who was clearly not picturing anyone else for one second of that. It even pissed off Renee, which is always fun, since we only see her three times a year and it's only the first week of January!
As if all of this wasn't fun enough, we got what was quite possibly the greatest line uttered by a soap teen in many, many years from Starr. "I'm not letting you write a musical about me and my baby and Cole and my rapist father."
Can we do that again?