Love That Probably Should Be Forbidden
I'm going to go out on a limb and wager that the General Hospital writing staff probably has their fair share of awkward moments in their everyday lives, and I don't just mean because of the vapors they get when they see or hear something that reminds them of Jason Morgan (such as the name Jason, the name Morgan, guns, churches, hymns, etc.), although I'm sure that is supremely uncomfortable to the people they come in contact with.
(Seriously, we watch a show where the hero is plagued with self doubt and is paid a compliment about how good he is at killing.
Sonny: Franco had 3 months to study. You had, what, a minute? If you had the same amount of time to study that sick freak, he'd be at the bottom of the harbor the night of the opening because no one is better at what you do.
Sometimes you can't even snark on something because it is so bizarre)
No, what I'm concerned about is their outlook on human relationships, especially those of the romantic variety, because some of them can be aptly summed up with the words "not quite right" or with the scientific term "ooky".
Discussing ooky relationships seems like a natural segue into the on-going Elizabeth/Lucky/Nikolas cluster of vileness, but I'm going to go the self-deprecating route and discuss my James Franco crush instead. Because, really, what better descriptor is there for a crush that leads me to say, at the end of a TERRIBLE storyline that was a WASTE of a talented actor's time and TORTURE for the audience, "Oh, I wish he wasn't leaving!"? Well, maybe straight-up crazy town would be a better descriptor, but whatever.
I know, on some level, that the entire Franco thing was awful. I don't know what Bob Guza was thinking when he planned it--actually, scratch that, I know exactly what he was thinking ("Jason Jason Jason Jason Jason Jason Jason Jason Jason. Jason!"). And I know that the only good points of this story were of the "so bad, it's" variety. Like double entendres about Jason assuming the position. Or rejected offers of chips and dip. Or...whatever this is.
Yet, I am still sad to see him go.
Exactly, Saul Silver. Exactly.
Okay, NOW to the Elizabeth/Lucky/Nikolas cluster of vileness.
So, Liz has been adamant that she is going to marry Lucky, and will continue to lie about her relationship with Nikolas for as long as necessary so that she can marry Lucky, and wants nothing more to do with Nikolas. And then she gets a phone call from Alfred who's all "Oh Em Gee, Liz, Master Nikolas is totally going to Europe, can you believe it?" Perhaps because I am starved for real entertainment, I found this and Liz's "Alfred and I are worried about you!" to be endlessly hilarious. I like to imagine the two of them having weekly gossip sessions.
So, anyway, she decides that the best course of action is not to just let him do that so that everything she could get everything she said she wanted. No, it's to get her children out of bed so that she could go see Nikolas. Not to see him and passionately declare her love for him, or to end things with him in person for real and thank him for giving her space. No, both of those things would have been soapy. Instead, she goes to tell him a whole lot of nothing.
Elizabeth: I love you both. In different ways. Lucky literally saved my life after the rape. I will be bonded to him forever because of that. And I don't even think there's a way I could repay him.
Nikolas: But that's gratitude, that's comfort, familiarity. Yeah, it's a kind of love, but is that enough for you?
Elizabeth: When I'm with Lucky, I'm always 15. I'm the girl he rescued. He only sees the good side of me and turns a blind eye to all of my faults. But when I'm with you, I'm a woman and I can be whoever I want.
Nikolas: So are you gonna marry him or not?
Elizabeth: I can't even think past this moment.
She woke Cameron up and shuttled him off to Audrey's for THAT? For a whole lot of treading water while the show attempted to drag this story out as long as possible? She didn't even sweeten the pot and tell him there would definitely be marshmallows in his hot chocolate, she said it was a maybe. Harrumph!
They are too damn cute.
She did say today that she knew she was contradicting herself by going after Nikolas, so at least I can give her a smidgen of credit for being self aware.
Elsewhere today, Lucky confronted Nikolas over Nik's feelings for Elizabeth, which he has no reason to believe are anything but one-sided and Nikolas shared that he totally feels bad about it!
Nikolas: I don't know what to say. I fell in love with her. I don't know how, when, why. Just one day, there it was, and I've been beating myself up ever since.
May I see the dates of these alleged instances of Nik beating himself up? Because I have zero recollection of that ever happening, much like I missed all of the times that he was fiercely loyal.
I am SERIOUSLY dreading the ugliness that will occur when Lucky finds out the truth about Liz and Nik's relationship. Lucky is the only person in this attempt at a love triangle that I am not actively repulsed by at the moment, so you just know the writers are going to try to level the playing field by making his reaction to the affair reveal as gross as possible.
If Sonny and Olivia need to be together (and I am not at all sure why they need to be together. Unless it's to make it easier for me to fast forward their scenes, since they'll be together and I won't wonder if I am missing anything interesting with Johnny and Olivia, or Sonny and...uh, moving on), couldn't the writers have come up with plausible reasons to keep putting them in each other's orbit?
Sonny: What'd you come by for?
Olivia: Oh, you know, it's nothing. The accounting department added a couple of items to Claudia's parties.
Because, I'm sorry, bills from a party from fucking months ago are not going to cut it.
Maybe the writing staff can only come up with contrived interactions between Sonny and Olivia ("How about we just talk about that party? The one for Claudia? That was a thing, right?") because they are too busy making subtle, witty allusions to the fact that Dominante is Sonny's kid.
Michael: Look, just because my dad likes you doesn't mean you get some kind of special privileges, Dominic. You're an outsider. Don't interfere in the corinthos family.
Haha, get it? Because Dominante isn't an outsider at all and he is a Corinthos! Hahaha, I wish I were dead.
Has there been an explanation for Patrick's searing hatred and outright disrespect of Steven? It's entirely possible that I missed it, but it's equally possible that there hasn't been one, and now I need to come up with my own reason for it. Does he get a kick out of taunting little people? Is he irked that he now has direct competition for Hottest General Hospital Doctor? I am genuinely curious.
Patrick: How about trusting your surgeons instead of second-guessing them?
Steve: This doesn't have your name on it, Drake.
Robin: He's right. This is between them. Let's just stay out of it.
Patrick: Robin, you're my wife, not my mother. Don't tell me what to do.
Pissy whiner is sooo not a good look for him.