I Find Trigonometry Less Confusing Than This Interview
Oh, so much to talk about with this little gem of an interview, dear readers. So much. So much that is...utterly confusing and nonsensical. But this is General Hospital and this is a day that ends with "-day," so I guess that is about right.
[GH] is bringing back Skye Quartermaine, the lusciously wicked divorcee played by Robin Christopher
We adore Robin Christopher, but the writing for Skye was consistently terrible (as was the wardrobing), she suffered from Invisible Quartermaine disease more often than not, and main tie to the canvas -- her father -- is dead, so the fact that this is the character the GH writers have decided to bring back is a bit puzzling.
(I greyed-out the portion that makes me most uncomfortable.)
It's hard to write GH without the Qs? So his job has been exceedingly difficult for the last decade or so? Or perhaps he should have been more specific: "It's hard to write GH without killing off at least one Q per sweeps period, so I'm going to start bringing back ones I previously treated as particularly useless so that when I ruin and/or slaughter them, I get less flack from the fans, or at the very least don't have to figure out a way to bring them back as ghosts or talking tumors six months later."
“Every time we drift away from the family, even though we’ve diluted them a bit over the years, it just feels wrong. So we’re looking to build them up again.”
Are we having another penultimate cosmic guffaw moment? "Diluted them a bit"?! Is that what you call the twisted game of "Kill, Write Off, Marginalize" that you've been kicking ass at since Clinton was president, you egomaniacal, myopic dolt? And if it feels wrong, you know what you can do? STOP DOING IT. This is where having a sense of shame comes in handy. Shame needs to make a comeback.
And I will believe Bob Guza is dedicated to building up the Quartermaines just as soon as I become convinced that Lindsay Lohan is really committed to her sobriety and skincare.
Who will Skye sink her well-mannied claws into this time? Teases Guza: “Luke [Anthony Geary] clearly has some needs right now. We’ll be doing some really fun stuff with Luke, Skye and Luke’s wife Tracy [Jane Elliott]."
Ew. I don't want to hear about Luke's needs. That kind of thing leads us to dark places.
Also, "well-mannied"? Really? Okay.
On the upside, Tracy and Skye battling sounds fun.
"And Alice [Bergen Williams], the Q’s maid, is going to play a big part in this, as well.”
Oh lord. I don't mind her, but a little Alice goes a long way.
“When you’re a member of the Ward family in Port Charles, it comes with a whole s--tload of expectations,” the scribe says.
1) My, that's eloquent. And anyway, I prefer "assload." It's just classier.
2) Expectations such as...a gory death? Taking Jason's virginity?
“Her drive is to be a doctor, so anything—or anybody—who gets in her way is going to be a problem.”
Yes, those crazy career women! They're just so emotionally closed off and pushy. Thank goodness GH is finally tackling this important subject.
Hahaha, what? I'm sorry, I don't speak CRAZY.
Says Guza: “Liz [Rebecca Herbst] is pregnant and Helena is going to be sniffing around. Wait until you see her get her teeth into the idea of having a new heir. It’s raging lunacy!”
Raging lunacy, huh? Well, they say you should write about what you know.