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« My New Favorite Sentence | Main | Would An "Easy Rider" Joke Be Too Vulgar? »

February 02, 2010

I Just...I Can't...What the...This Is a Terrible Show.

Just so we're clear, this ridiculous excuse for a soap opera wants me to feel sorry for one of its two heroes, because he shot an innocent, unarmed police officer at point-blank range in the chest in an attempt to kill him for doing his job?  That's what's happening on my screen, right?

Yesterday was a fun follow-up to Friday's episode.  As Sonny was helping Olivia hold a towel over the sucking wound in Dante's chest caused by SONNY TRYING TO MURDER HIM:

SonnyOliviaDanteBleeding

Sonny:  How could you do this, Olivia?  How could you let this happen?

"That was so irresponsible when you started talking like Dirty Harry and then shot our kid!  That was you, right?  I'm sure it was."

And then everything was "my son" this and "my son" that.  Nauseating.  Are we supposed to believe Sonny is in shock and is therefore behaving completely insanely?  Or is this a continuation of the "Sonny is a fantastic father" meme we've been subjected to for the last decade?  I think you know which option I lean towards.

DanteComa

Sonny to Dante:  You gotta understand; this would not have happened if I knew.  We're a lot alike, in a lot of ways...

"...I mean sure, I have fewer gaping chest wounds, but we both have wavy hair and like the Yankees!"

What the hell is this dialogue?  "I try not to shoot people who are a lot like me, because I'm awesome so you must be too."

Sonny:  I can't believe I'm your father.  I'm gonna figure out a way to make this right.
Dante:  ::in a coma caused by Sonny SHOOTING HIM IN THE CHEST::

I didn't mean to shoot MY son. I meant to shoot SOMEONE ELSE'S son.  

Sonny to Dante:  It's alright.  Hey, I'm not gonna hurt you.*  It was all a mistake.**  I'm your father.***

* ....again.  Probably.  It kind of all depends on whether you piss me off.

** I accidentally attempted to kill you intentionally.  It's complicated.

*** Which is important to mention at this moment, even though hearing it may be mentally and physically traumatic for you, because it's a really significant development for me, and I don't have a lot else going on in my life right now.  The coffee business is slow since effing McDonald's decided to get into the game, and I did have this annoying cop building a case to send me to prison but I---.  Um, never mind.

SonnyAngryOlivia

Olivia:  What the hell were you thinking?  You think this is the time to talk to him about being his father?
Sonny:  I just wanted to let him know that I'm not gonna hurt him. 
Olivia:  And you think that that information couldn't wait?
Sonny:  He woke up.  He looked at me.  He had panic in his eyes.  I was just trying to calm him down.  What's the big deal?

"You're being such a nag, Livvy!  Chill out.  It's very calming to wake up from a coma to learn that your attempted murderer is actually your parent.  Chicks are so stupid and hysterical sometimes."

Sonny to Olivia:  Dante's in that hospital bed because you never told me the truth.

I thought it was because YOU SHOT HIM IN THE CHEST.

Sonny to Olivia:  Where do you get off telling me to get out of your face?  When you've been lying to me about my son!

I take it back.  The writers don't want me to feel sorry for Sonny.  I refuse to believe that writers who have any healthy contact with other human beings in real life are writing this shit with any intention other than making the audience hate Sonny with a fiery passion.

Divider

Somehow there were a few rays of light today.

KristinaRantAgainstSonny

Kristina:  This is exactly why I hate our father.  He poisons everything around him.  Not even a christening can be beautiful.  It all gets ruined by Dad. 
Sam:  Come on, hey, this isn't helping.
Kristina:  I'm just telling the truth.  Dad shot a cop.  That's the worst crime you can commit.  That's why it's called murder with special circumstances.  I hope Dad goes to prison for the rest of his life.

A 17-year-old girl is the voice of reason.  That sentence has never before and will never again be true. 

LuluRantAgainstSonny

Lulu to Sonny:  You shot him!  How could you?!  You disgusting pig, I hope you rot in hell!

Go Lulu!  And how often can you say that?

Plus Johnny laid some lovely sarcasm on Maxie (who, along with Robin, nauseatingly defended Sonny -- Robin to an even greater extent, much to my dismay):

Johnny:  Right.  Poor Sonny.  The man shoots a cop, finds out it's his child.  Must wreck his whole night, right?

JohnnyComfortsOlivia

And he comforted Olivia super adorably.  (And hotly, but I feel like evaluating hotness in that situation is inappropriate.  And I am a slave to propriety.)

And there was...

PatrickScrubs

...another thing.

Divider

Comments

Sonny is a douche with special circumstances. That is all.

What is funny about Maxie defending Sonny, besides it being insane, is that he hates her! He called her a 'ditzy broad'. Not the most modern of insults, but still an insult.

When I first started reading this awesome blog, something stuck in my head, a phrase you repeated a lot in various forms, but the gist was He kills people for living , usually accompanied with rolling eyes, disgusted sighs, shaking one's head in disbelief - aah, wait that was on my part, nevermind.

Anyway, why do I feel that your new favourite sentence is going to be HE/YOU SHOT HIM IN THE CHEST !!!!!!! ?

Everytime I think GH cannot be any more hypocritical than it is now, they do something like that. I'll never learn. Of course, now I think this is the new LOW for them and it cannot get any worse. We'll see about that next week.

DIE Sonny, DIE!!!!!!!! I hate you, hate you, hate you!

He shot another human being and all he can say is "I didn't know you were my son."?!?!?!?!? What kind of world does he live in? Let me answer that - psycho Guza world! It's not normal to shoot people, any people. And he has the audacity to blame it on Olivia! Her son is dying there after HE SHOT HIM IN THE CHEST and he's playing a hurt boyfriend?

Thanks for the polls Becca, they calmed me down a bit.

Am I the only one who threw up in her mouth a bit when Sonny was being arrested and yelled to Olivia, "Tell Dante I love him"??????? I can still taste it. Yuck.

Yes, that comment "Tell Dante I love him" was nauseating! I'm surprised Sonny didn't use the "B" word, betrayal, for Dante. I'm sure he'll save that for Olivia. I must admit I'm surprised Sonny is embracing the whole Dante thing and not mad about the undercover cop thing. That's because "Sonny is a great father" and we have to be hit over the head with that repeatedly because that justifies keeping him the hero of our show (per Guza). I hate how Sonny keeps repeating, "I didn't know he was my son," as if shooting someone who WASN'T related to you would have been OK!

As Sonny was being taken into the elevator in handcuffs I wondered if the show was actually showing how the great man has fallen, his life is falling apart and everyone is watching. Was Sonny actually getting his comeuppance? But then I regained my sanity and figured that Guza wants us to feel sorry for Sonny being taken away from Dante by those mean old cops, and that this will only add to Sonny's secret pain which is how he pays for his many crimes.

Gah this comment issue! must try again. One of these days I'll remember to do a copy of my messages!

Michelle I was right there with you...after I cracked up and rolled on the floor with laughter. He's known him for two seconds, was ready to kill him but oh they share DNA...INSTANT LOVE! Quite a switch from the crew that brought us "Family is who you choose not who you are related to" for a DECADE.

Not that there weren't many moments of WTF...but my first one was when Sonny was absolutely clueless as to where towels were in his house. Does he have a servant there that pats him dry from showers by hand? Does he not have a bathroom?????

However my true highlight might have been Steven Lars being awesomely unimpressed when Sonny was trying to be threatening.

Yes, the Steven Lars / Sonny confrontation was perfect. Sonny is in a hospital after coldly shooting his own son - and he's threatening the doctor that is going to be operating on him. Learn much?

But I guess that is okay - Steven Lars is someone else's son.

What a great guy, that Sonny!

Anyone notice the random Matt sighting (Maxi asking him about Dante)? He had approximately the same number of lines as Bobbie did the day before.

I just loved how Lulu's first instinct was to go confront Jason instead of doing what people normally do when they find blood and medical supplies in a person's home: call the hospital or go there in person.

Arrgh, if this comment appears twice, or thrice, I apologize. TypePad hates.

I think Guza is confused about the idea of an antihero. I'm pretty sure it doesn't encompass being completely morally reprehensible. And shitballs crazy. Tell Dante I love him. Are you kidding me with this? I have so much Sonny-directed RAGE.

Lulu ripping into Sonny was pretty great. Screw you're sorry...You didn't see him when you were pointing a gun at him?. Text doesn't do the delivery justice. I hope this is a sign that she's off the mob apologist bandwagon. If that's true, and they stop writing her as hypocritically judgmental (perhaps she forgets her own fling with a married guy which contributed to his divorce--ill-advised as the Dillon-Georgie union may have been), I'll be able to love her again(!). And I absolutely delighted in Kristina and Morgan and their reactions to Sonny's actions.

If this is the beginning of Port Charles seeing what Sonny really is, what he and Jason really do to people, then awesome. Maybe that means Mac, Jax, Alexis, and whoever is left of the Quartermaine family won't be looked upon as crazies. But I am being way too optimistic. And logical. Logically, how could Sonny shooting Dante (a cop/his kid/the best thing to happen to GH in quite some time) result in anything but Sonny being cast as a villain? Even giving Sonny 500 free passes for all the murders he's committed or had Jason commit, how can he come back from this and still be the center of the show? Guza, of course, will find a way because he's done it before. And win an Emmy for it. And I will weep.

@Maria
I actually share your wary -- and probably foolish -- optimism. The people of Port Charles do seem more horrified than usual with Sonny's killing peopel at will. And perhaps more importantly: I only watch GH online, usually only during sweeps or a Scorpio-Drake wedding or when this site informs me that Awesom Writer has been let out of the cage. Anyway, when I'm watching clips I'm frequently horrified by the commentors. They are the Jason-Sonny apologists from whom frequenters of this site take refuge. But there is now dissent among the masses!! Apparently shooting a cop is FINALLY Taking It. Too. Far. for the American masses. I mean, some people are still defending him and blaming Olivia -- and I really think that those people's membership in civil society should just be revoked -- but people seem put off by this. So maybe, MAYBE there's a reason to hope? Maybe?

I'm totally going to regret this when Dante joins the mob in 3 months, aren't I?

Also, again @Maria (you and I must share a brain):

I frequently pondered the "anti-hero." Clearly that's what Guza thinks he has in Sonny and Jaon. And clearly he is confused.

Antiheros are perfect for soap operas. A soap requires some morally ambiguous characters to keep them interesting. They can't all be Ryan Harrisons (that one goes out to all my fellow geriatric peeps) or Stefano DiMeras. There have to be characters in between.

What Guza doesn't seem to understand is that you can't be a morally ambiguous person AND KILL PEOPLE FOR PROFIT. That makes you a bad person. Period. The only way they* can becom heroes, anti- or otherwise, at this point would be to completely repent and then do several years as the outcast as penance. That's what soaps used to do all the time. Why can't Guza get it.

*And by "they" I clearly mean "Jason." Sonny is irredeamable.

I was a bit disappointed that Lulu threatened to turn in info to the police only if Domte dies. Is the attempted murder not sufficient? I don't quite get it. Shouldn't they burn in hell and/or prison regardless? I get confused.

I mean of course it won't matter now that they're related and Lulu will likely feel sorry for Sonny like everyone else...

I had a thin line of drool coming down through the entirety of that show simply because I couldn't close my mouth. How, how, how-the-crikey-fuck-HELL does anyone with two connected brain cells let this krap out into the stratosphere?? What if it's true that aliens are actually receiving signals sent out from earth from radio, satellite, TV!!! Can you imagine some other lifeform trying to figure out our family dynamics from SONNY FRICKIN' CORINTHOS?? Not to mention trying to figure out our language!

"People of Earth. We are not here to manepleeate you or force you to get a deevorce."

I was sure - POSITIVE - that we were going to get a slow-motion montage at the end as the police were carting Sonny away. They'd be wheeling Dante by on the stretcher, on his way to surgery (because they always wheel patients going for trauma surgery right through the lobby - it's entertaining for the other patients and people waiting.) Sonny would be jumping up and down in slow motion mouthing, "I LOVE you, SON!" while Olivia cried. And they'd do it all to "Mad World" because they haven't been able to play that song in at least three weeks.

And it isn't it INDEED a Mad World when SONNY is arrested for shooting a COP? His SON no less? Who woulda thunk it?

Thank the freaking lord for Kristina, Morgan, and Lulu's appropriately horrified/disgusted reactions. I was losing my effing mind with all the "I didn't know he was my son, and because of that, it is in no way my fault that I shot an unarmed cop in the chest (which, incidentally, is fine to do, because he 'went against me')." Seriously. I was driven right up to the point of insanity. (Insanity being the place where a fictional TV show causes you to feel that you might cry, pass out, or throw a chair across the room at any moment.) Like, I actually want to fight Bob Guza and whoever else is writing this. When he gets off the hook for putting a bullet in Dante's chest, I am going to lose it. LOSE. IT.

Thank you, that is all.

Ah GH, you never fail to do exactly what I expect of you, which is why I hate you so very much. Somehow I KNEW Sonny would use the "I wouldn't have done it if I'd known he was my son and why didn't you tell me you slut?" defense. Because shooting cops who are strangers is just okeley-dokeley. Somehow I KNEW people like Robin and Patrick and all the little people would be all "Poor Sonny, shooting his son like that," instead of "Oh my God, that psychopathic lunatic shot ANOTHER person!" Somehow I KNEW that Olivia (and I don't even LIKE this character) woudl be the Big Bad, because Sonny's a family man! He's just a big ball of Cuddle all wrapped up in tacky hair get! This show is so predictable, clocks are envious.

And yeah, I would have liked Lulu going off on Sonny if a) she hadn't been talking up what a swell guy he was to Dante earlier, and b) if I didn't have complete confidence that she'll be kissing his mumbling arse very soon.

Doesn't Maxie have two dead cop boyfriends? And her dad's a cop. And she defends Sonny for shooting a cop? Remember when Maxie wasn't horrible? Good times.

This show amazes me just when i think some characters cant go lower. I agree with tootlegub Maxie loved Jesse and his death almost destroyed her how can the writers justify her defending the mob especially as she was raised by Mac. They need to break her and Spinnili up right now and make her a character worthy of her parents and Mac legicies. Go Lulu and Kristina the only thing I worry abou is that Sonny will deal with Krifer and suddenly Kristin will forget how horrible he is and become another mindless Sonny supporter.Please writers especially awersome writer make Kristina and Molly into great Cassaidine charaqcter especoially as who made the rest of the Cassidines into weak characters even Helena lost her touh.

THIS. EFFING. SHOW.

I couldn't figure out why they would bother to have Sam show up to steal the gun that she somehow knew would be randomly sitting out on some schmuck cop's desk. Now it becomes clear.

Apparently both Dante AND Olivia are going to lie to protect Sonny, which is so completely ludicrous, and shouldn't make any difference given how many people Sonny confessed to at the hospital.

Last week was so good, and in just a few short days, this whole show has gone back down the shitter. The sad thing is, I just knew it was going to play out this way, and I was still stupid enough to hope I was going to be wrong.

Apparently, although Michael deserved to get shot in the head for playing with guns, Sonny shoots a cop and everyone's supposed to feel sorry for him that it turned out to be his son. This is just so screwed up!

Ugh..typed all this emotionally induced raging good stuff and poof it disappears. Yeah Typepad you hate..

I'll paraphrase..

I just...I cant..what the??? so apropo.

Agree with bamn, I literally wanted to cry, throw up, find Guza and fight him over this sickening mess.

Its okay to shoot a cop who saved YOU, your son and your best friends daughter, with no remorse but now your torn because it turns out that the betrayer is your son and that makes it all different. Your DNA being the considering factor.

Again..this is sad and sickening..I just..I cant..watch this freaking show anymore!

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