Serial Drama

Soap Blog Coalition

Daytime Confidential's Jillian Bowe caught up with Florencia Lozano at the recent party celebrating One Life to Live's move to their new studio and she dished about representing Latina women on daytime, the Tea/Blair rivalry and her TV daughter Kelley Missal. (Daytime Confidential) 

Not even Ryan and his lone facial expression could detract from how awesome Greenlee and David's almost wedding was on AMC. The Serial Drama girls don't want to get their hopes up about a romance between the two but do admit that, if it happened, it would be the greatest thing since sliced bread. (Serial Drama)

The Wub Tub celebrates vintage Valentine's soap couples through history. (Wubs)

I Find Trigonometry Less Confusing Than This Interview

Oh, so much to talk about with this little gem of an interview, dear readers.  So much.  So much that is...utterly confusing and nonsensical.  But this is General Hospital and this is a day that ends with "-day," so I guess that is about right.

[GH] is bringing back Skye Quartermaine, the lusciously wicked divorcee played by Robin Christopher

We adore Robin Christopher, but the writing for Skye was consistently terrible (as was the wardrobing), she suffered from Invisible Quartermaine disease more often than not, and main tie to the canvas -- her father -- is dead, so the fact that this is the character the GH writers have decided to bring back is a bit puzzling.

“It’s hard to write GH without the Qs,” says the soap’s multi Emmy-winning head writer Bob Guza.

(I greyed-out the portion that makes me most uncomfortable.)

It's hard to write GH without the Qs?  So his job has been exceedingly difficult for the last decade or so?  Or perhaps he should have been more specific:  "It's hard to write GH without killing off at least one Q per sweeps period, so I'm going to start bringing back ones I previously treated as particularly useless so that when I ruin and/or slaughter them, I get less flack from the fans, or at the very least don't have to figure out a way to bring them back as ghosts or talking tumors six months later."

“Every time we drift away from the family, even though we’ve diluted them a bit over the years, it just feels wrong. So we’re looking to build them up again.”

Are we having another penultimate cosmic guffaw moment?  "Diluted them a bit"?!  Is that what you call the twisted game of "Kill, Write Off, Marginalize" that you've been kicking ass at since Clinton was president, you egomaniacal, myopic dolt?  And if it feels wrong, you know what you can do?  STOP DOING IT.  This is where having a sense of shame comes in handy.  Shame needs to make a comeback.

And I will believe Bob Guza is dedicated to building up the Quartermaines just as soon as I become convinced that Lindsay Lohan is really committed to her sobriety and skincare.

Jason, The Mob and Full-Frontal Snogging

(I sort of feel terrible for associating Louise Rennison's amazing, hilarious and genuinely brilliant Georgia Nicolson series with General Hospital, but Molly's use of the word "snogging" opened a door that I just couldn't close!)

A lot went down in Port Charles today and, surprisingly, not all of it was terrible. I mean, most of it was terrible, for sure, because this is Guza-era Port Charles (Population: Awful People Doing Awful Things), but there were quite a few moments that were entertaining, from those that were unintentionally amusing to the ones that were genuinely fantastic.

Like, today featured several moments where Jason was visibly uncomfortable, which is always good for a chuckle, such as when Sam made him drink the pink champagne and the champagne flute could not hide his consternation.

And then when he and Sam dropped off Kristina and Molly, and walked in on Mac and Alexis making out, he averted his eyes and, awkwardly, said, "Guess we should have called."

(Although this was then followed up with Jason seducing Sam with a hot new 9mm gun that he read about in Firearms, like, "Who's uncomfortable now, bitch?"

Me. I am uncomfortable. You win, Jase)

The latter, actually, all involved Dante and Lulu, who have become Awesome Writer's go-to characters for truth-telling and romance.

Dante had the utterly awesome moment that I already gushed aboutbut will gush about again because it was so fantastic to hear Dante smack Sonny's weeble ass down, especially since Sonny has been like a broken record lately all, "Once he gets to know me, he'll completely move past the gaping chest wound and love me":

Dante: I don't care that you're my father. I'm dedicating myself to bringing you down.

But Lulu was also good for telling Sonny where to stick his half-assed "apologies" when he showed up at her apartment to ask her for help getting to know Dante. I've been loving the writing for her lately, and while past history makes me expect that I'll be back to irritation with her soon (my feelings for her on the show have gone something like, "Hey, she's pretty awesome" to "I kind of wish she wasn't on everyday" to "Over it" to "Hey, she's not so bad" to "KILL IT" to "She hasn't bugged me in a while" to "Never mind, I take that back"), I am just going to sit back and enjoy it.

Like, when he tried to tell her that this pesky anger she's feeling about him shooting her boyfriend in the chest will go away and then she'll think more rationally.

Sonny: I know a thing about anger*. I've dealt with it my whole life, and I know that it dissipates, and you're able to see more clearly and I was just hoping that you could see me more clearly.
Lulu: Wow, that is so ironic because I actually do see you clearly, Sonny. For the first time in my life, I can see past the smile and the good manners and I can see that the words blood money aren't an exaggeration, they're a fact. You kill for what you have, and you were going to kill Dante and I can't make an excuse for that. And I can't pretend that I'm going to forgive you or ever understand you, because I don't think I ever will.

*He doesn't even know a thing or two about anger, merely a thing! Someone is trying out false modesty!

The Day's Most Beautiful Dialogue

So, there is a ton to discuss about today's episode of General Hospital, and I will be discussing away later this evening, because how can I let a show filled with

• ANOTHER Who's The Daddy story
• Jason seducing Sam by reading a description of a gun (That is not satire. That seriously happened)
• Lulu being awesome
• Mac and Alexis, um, mackage
• Morgan being heartbreaking

go unmentioned? I can't, is the answer to that question, but for now, I need to record a moment that led to pure, well, glee, a moment that ended today's show and made me sit up and cheer. Well, I didn't literally cheer, but I smiled broadly, and on a day with more effing snow and a pounding headahce, that's saying quite a lot!

 Dante: I don't care that you're my father. I'm dedicating myself to bringing you down.

(I mean, yes, we'll need to see if this actually takes and, since I've seen this show, I am not going to hold my breath, but I am not going to jump to the worst case scenario for the first time in probably ever and just continue to smile broadly!)

Wedded Bliss

The change in All My Children since Lorraine Broderick's work started to air is readily apparent. Characters are acting the way you'd expect them to act, given their histories and personalities, the dialogue is better and I haven't even contemplated calling a poison control center after watching a full episode (I feel like Mr. Yuk would certainly consider some of Charles Pratt's AMC to be auditory poison!), which is quite obviously a good thing, but...

(Yes, yes, I know. I know! There is always a "but"! I truly am impossible to please!)

she's only the show's interim writer, and will soon be followed by David Kreizman and Donna Swajeski, who...well, I am trying (half-heartedly, but still) not to pre-judge, so I will just say that recent AMC history has told me that new headwriters wind up being even worse than their already terrible predecessors, so I don't have high hopes, and the quality of the show now seems like it will be a blip of goodness before going back to, well, Pine Valley as we know it, and as Smokey Robinson and The Miracles opined, "A taste of honey is worse than none at all".

And the end of Friday's episode? An extra delicious taste of honey. Come on, it was a wedding between the town's supervillain and a woman everybody thought was dead! Even the priest who officiated the ceremony was like, "This could not possibly rule any harder".

 

Is "Enormous Tragedy" An Overstatement, Or An Understatement?

Part of the trouble with having a Thursday that sees me out of the house, and away from the internet, for more than twelve hours (aside from the part that sees me become so exhausted and slap happy on Fridays that I am half asleep at 4:30 and am genuinely amused by corny jokes sixth graders tell) is that I run the risk of missing big news, which I hate, because I hate being the last person to know something in general. And because when I do hear the big news, I am almost always in a public place, and therefore have an over-the-top reaction in front of people.

That was a roundabout way of saying that tonight, I learned that David Canary is leaving All My Children while I was in Starbucks, of all places, and made a sound halfway between a shriek and a gasp and attracted stares and a concerned, "Miss, are you all right?" from the barista (I nodded politely and refrained from shouting, "No, I'm not, because David Canary is leaving All My Children. WHY WHY WHY, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING, WHY?).

I think that many of us have half-expected this news for some time now (probably going back to Stuart being killed off, AKA "Reason Charles Pratt Is A Sadistic Hack #236743"), but it doesn't make it any less devastating! I can't imagine a Pine Valley without Adam, and an AMC without its most talented performer. Well, actually, I can imagine those things, and the best descriptor for both is "terrible". How the HELL am I going to make it through a full episode of this show now? I am either going to have to bribe myself or turn to drugs!

Problems Commenting?

We've received dozens of emails and Facebook posts since early December, letting us know that many of you have had problems posting comments here on the blog.  And we've had the problem ourselves, so we know this is not just a bunch of soap-watchers being overdramatic!  But TypePad has been unable to duplicate the problem on their end.  TypePad has asked that if you've had this commenting problem, please contact them directly.  The only way this is likely to get fixed is if as many of you as possible who are having problems actually do report that directly to them.  So if you have experienced this bug and can take a couple minutes to make a report, we'd really appreciate it.

We're really sorry about these problems.  We've definitely noticed a drop in the volume of comments and want to get everyone back up to their usual levels of bitchery ASAP!  If this doesn't work, we will explore other alternatives.  Thanks so much for your help. 

(And since the comments aren't working for many of you, a poll to try to help figure out how widespread this is.)

poll by twiigs.com

Soap Blog Coalition

One Life to Live's Crystal Hunt recently celebrated her 25th birthday with members of the OLTL cast and former Guiding Light co-stars. Check out photos from the birthday bash. (Daytime Confidential)

Serial Drama's guest-blogger Louise shares her thoughts on an OLTL episode chock full of...let's just be polite and call them "very expressive" reaction shots from John-Paul Lavoisier and Scott Clifton. (Serial Drama)

On The Wub Tub: A fun new rumor just might be sending "The Situation" to GH, pump your fist! (Wubs)

Just My Imagination Running Away With Me

Yesterday, when everything that was to happen today was canceled in anticipation of the storm deemed "February Fury" by The Weather Channel, I was excited, because that meant that my Wednesday would see me sleeping later than 4:30, and being able to wear comfortable clothes all day, and reading, and watching my soaps live (my excitement on that last part was, obviously, the "Oh, I'm so excited that I can get that over with at 3, rather than having it hang over my head and ruin an otherwise enjoyable evening" kind rather than the "Oh, I'm so excited to see the dramatic and awesome happenings in Port Charles" kind, because it's not 1998).

And then it turns out that General Hospital was preempted for special news coverage of snow, in New York, in winter that was only marginally more newsworthy than the special coverage last night that followed people at Home Depot as they bought shovels; in a related story, the tri-state area's local ABC affiliate is seriously lame and terrible.

Lame and terrible and LIARS! When they announced that they'd be hijacking the 3 PM hour to talk about the storm, they said the words, "We keep getting calls from people, asking 'where's our soap'?" Like, I am SO SURE that there are multiple people in this world who were so distressed about the lack of GH that they called ABC in a panic. As was mentioned by Kristin on Facebook, the only person that interested in this show is Bob Guza, and the fact that ABC is going to air GH at 2:05 AM does him no good, since he's the type of person who's already moved onto Cinemax movies by that time.

So, what did I miss? According to my DVR's description (which has been known to lie; I mean, it usually describes GH as a "classic" soap, "charting the trials of Port Charles's medical center". ?!?!), on the Wednesday show:

• Johnny makes a bold move: I like to think this is a bold fashion move, bringing the old man sweater back.
• Elizabeth breaks down in Jason's arms: well, who among us wouldn't collapse in the reassuring arms of the deity of our choice in our time of crisis?
• Helena pays Nikolas a visit: I'm not even bothering to get remotely excited about this, because Helena's returns are always fun for two days and then promptly forgotten.

I am guessing that today didn't include someone saying to Jason, "So, that whole crisis of conscience you had about killing people for money three weeks ago didn't take, huh?", or Olivia finally snap back to reality, all "What the hell was I thinking that the guilt would be punishment enough for Sonny?" before stabbing him repeatedly with a stiletto, or Spinelli speaking actual, human English, but please correct me if I'm wrong and I will watch the SOAPNet airing, record it and treasure it forever and ever.

PS: Lindze Letherman is back! For a brief stint...as a ghost.I wish that the powers-that-be would understand that bringing her back from the dead is no more unrealistic than half of the stuff they try to sell us on a daily basis, like Sonny being a good father...

And Rex Expresses Himself

Warning: utterly, utterly superficial and shallow comments to come.

There's not honestly that much to say because, if I'm being honest, the last several episodes have just felt like they're spinning their wheels (did they really have an entire episode last week that was exclusively about people losing their cell phone connections???).  We do finally seem to be making some headway, thankfully, but I couldn't let Rex's facial expression tour de force go unmentioned today. 

To be fair, the episode was full of people reacting to things in ways that seemed wildly inappropriate to the situation, but it was like watching a cartoon.  I kept expecting sound effects every time he shook and twisted his face around.