Today's episode of All My Children veered dangerously close to being an enjoyable hour of television, what with Greenlee and David hatching a scheme that is both entertaining and in character for both of them (not to mention, it fulfills a wish I had a year ago that the writers remember that the David/Greens relationship is an actual factual thing! So AMC does give the viewers what they want. They just do it months after the fact and, I'm guessing, completely accidentally. I refuse to believe that this surprisingly fun story has been written that way on purpose, because since when does this show do that? This was an absurdly long parenthetical notation. See, this is why I can't have a Twitter, because I talk too damn much for 140 character limits) and certain scenes featuring lots of gravelly-voiced truth-telling and breathy indignation. Luckily, Jake "Have I mentioned that I hate David Hayward recently? David. David! David? D!A!V!I!D!" Martin and Ryan "The Worst" Lavery were around to remind us that while there is the occasional hour of not-so-badness, the operative word there is "occasional".
But let's not gripe about the show's multifarious forms of lameness and focus instead on the exquisite scenes between Jackson and Erica. Why were they so exquisite? First and foremost, because it was just such a treat to have Walt Willey back (let's reflect for a moment on how sad it is that he was gone in the first place) and working with Susan Lucci. And ALSO because he managed to do what we've all wanted to do, which was corner Erica and say to her face, "Your latest romance is fucking disgusting and I can hardly stand to look at you without dry-heaving", although he said it in a more sophisticated manner. Let's take a look, shall we?
Erica: Ryan Lavery has been helping me at Fusion. He and I are partners?
Jack: Partners, is it?
Erica: Yes. I'm sure you're thinking Ryan Lavery isn't exactly an expert in cosmetics or anything like that--
Is it just me or could that sentence have simply been "I'm sure you're thinking Ryan Lavery isn't exactly an expert in cosmetics or anything"?
Erica: but in any other aspect of the business, he excels.
Business, Erica, or "business"? And with that, I just made myself gag. I'm sorry for that, friends.
Jack: Well, you always had more faith in him than I did.
Erica: With good reason, Jack. Professionally speaking, we are a very good team.
Jack: Good. It must be incredible. You know, word of your professional team work has made it all the way across the Atlantic.
As he brandished the tabloid with Ryan and Erica...Ryan and Ericaing on the cover, I had to ask myself if there is any tabloid in the world who would kiss sales goodbye by choosing to put those two on the cover! But then again, there are those magazines who put literal mutants on the cover and they seem to sell, despite being quite nearly as offensive as Ryan/Erica.