How to Sink a Precarious Ship in a Few Easy Steps (or, Rip Out My Heart and Step On It, Why Don't You?)
I imagine this is hardly news to anyone who keeps up with soap press, but we One Life to Live fans have been dealt the following blows in the last couple of weeks:
1. Daphnee Duplaix (Rachel) was let go.
2. Amanda Setton (Kim) put in her notice.
3. Scott Clifton (Schuyler) was let go.
4. Scott Evans (Fish) and Brett Claywell (Kyle) are being let go, or at least their storyline is being written off the show (some reports indicate that Evans will be kept around for an occasional appearance in police-related storylines).
My reaction to News #1 was confusion and sadness -- this is a legacy character with ties to tons of the canvas and the daughter of Nora Buchanan! I don't get it. If they felt like her love story had flopped, why get rid of her and not him?
My reaction to News #2 was a little messier because there was no confusion, just despair. Kim has been one of the most refreshing and hilarious characters we've had since we met Roxy, and I found the chemistry between Kim and Clint to be surprisingly awesome. This was the decision of the actress, though, and I don't think this is an appropriate case for a recast. But I will miss that stripper bitch, and I hate having to watch Clint get let down yet again to accommodate her departure!
When we got to News #3, I was pretty exhausted. And quite frankly, they'd written Schuyler into such a corner. We can't really be rooting for him right now because we know that kid isn't his (even though obviously from what everyone knows right now, I have no idea why Gigi should get custody over, you know, the kid's living parent). They'd done a lot of damage to what was initially an incredibly compelling character, and it didn't look like they were making too many efforts to pull him out of that damage. I'm sad because I can't help but feel this just means more Rex and Gigi, and that is never, ever, ever a good thing. And I'm sad because I like Scott Clifton, despite his recent devolution into many the same acting tics as his most common scene partners (I don't need to name names, do I? I hear some of those scene partners have been doing a lot of their own self-incrimination lately anyway!), but I still do think he's a strong actor.
I... I don't know how to talk about News #4. I've been watching the same soaps for over 25 years and I've had some heartbreak for sure, but this one... it's a mix of rage and sadness and fear and loss and confusion and then more rage. Why? WHY? Sweet mercy, why the sweet motherfuck would they get rid of what is far and away the best thing about this show? Why? Why? Because we need more Todd? Rex and Gigi? John? I DON'T MOTHERFUCKING THINK SO. My heart hurts. It aches. And that's a big deal, just ask my ex-boyfriends -- I don't have much of a heart. But what I do have? Is full of Kish. Full. Full of Oliver and Kyle, full of Kyle and Roxy, full of Oliver/Cristian/Layla. And it hurts so bad. I might need to start a support group. If Brett and Scott would like to attend, that might help. I'm not too far from their... former place of employment.
Honestly, the characters and storylines I hate on this show don't bother me as much as they do on, say, that other program that comes on right after it. I am convinced this has a lot to do with the sheer size of the cast and the fact that it's pretty rare for anyone to be on five days a week -- don't like Rex and Gigi? Look, it's Bo and Nora! Don't like John? Look, it's Roxy and Kyle! Don't like Todd and... Todd? Look, it's Rachel and Schuyler! If there were three major storylines I hated on any of my other soaps, there would possibly be relief for 15 minutes a week at best. Not so here. Until, apparently, next month.
In the meantime, I'm going to try to hang on tight and focus hard on the good stuff: Bo, Nora, Roxy, Blair, Cristian, Layla, Marty, Clint, Jessica, Viki, Natalie, Dorian, Charlie. There's potential with some other folks, too. If I close my eyes real hard and just focus, it'll all be okay, right? Right?
Oh! So there's still a show going on. I am so overwhelmed by the news that I can barely concentrate. I have some shallow thoughts, like I think Gigi looks better, but I will never think she looks as good as she did with the dark hair.
I wish they had given Rachel and Greg more story; the breakup didn't pack much wallop. I guess I was feeling kind of meta about it, since her total bafflement about Greg breaking up with her just sounded like Daphnee Duplaix saying, "Wait, you're writing Rachel off the show? You're letting me go? I mean... huh?"
I like having Kelly back on board -- she is sort of cold and awful but still human, and I enjoy the love/hate relationship she has with Blair. And this is biased since Blair is one of my all-time favorites, but I love when Blair gets these clear opportunities to be a warmer, bigger person.
As for Jessica, I admit I'm having a blast with her corny high school story, but she's definitely acting more 13 than 17. I love that it gets Cristian more screentime. I love that Kim's trepidation about giving up all other men forever gets Cristian and Eli more shirtless screentime. It's the little things, people.
The stripper bridesmaids fawning all over Kevin was pretty stellar, but the wedding made me sad because it should've been awesome. Uh-oh, I'm hurting again...
One thing that always makes me feel better. Dorian in a Dorian hat!
Sigh.... looks like it's time for a glass of wine. Or twelve.