In Which Patrick Drake Preaches to the Choir
Obviously, Patrick and I are completely sympatico when it comes to calling Sonny Corinthos out for being (to borrow a phrase from Port Charles's Australian punching bag) a "cop-shooting son of a bitch", since people act like that's some sort of personality flaw and not, you know, a felony, but amidst all of his truth-telling today, he showed today that on top of being honest and a brilliant surgeon, he also has the most beautiful imagination.
Patrick: If this was the last 24 hours of our lives, I would not want to talk about Sonny...
Does he dream big or does he dream big?! That's the most glorious vision of a perfect day! No Sonny for 24 hours! It's a pity Patrick moved to Port Charles after 1993, which is the last time on record that the entire town didn't eat, drink, sleep and breathe Sonny Corinthos.
The Sonny-centric nature of the show has been at a fever pitch in recent days, as we're watching Sonny deal with the fallout of something horrible happening to him (his daughter getting beaten) and put up with the massive inconvenience of standing trial for something he didn't do, and we're also hearing everybody talk about both of those things and how they impact Sonny and poor Sonny has the hardest life, and "Oh, Sonny, it's a Sonny Day, Sonny! Sonny!" and I am...peeved.
Peeved that, for instance, the writers can't think of any way to organically give Patrick and Robin angst, so they've hit them with the "Ex-girlfriend who has no boundaries"-"I hate Sonny/You shouldn't hate Sonny because he was awesome once" double whammy and have no idea how to proceed from there, so they've decided to just give them the same conversation over, and over.
Robin: Right. I mean, you won't take into account that whole, you know, heartless mobster image that the media tries to portray. And you're an intelligent person, so you can recognize that nobody is just one thing and that even though a man is deeply flawed, it doesn't mean he isn't capable of also caring about people very deeply or that he's guilty of every single little thing they throw at him. I mean, if anyone's tried to sway this jury, it's the media, and I just want you and the other jurors to treat Sonny as a real person.
The show has still not come around to my idea of having people interject "He shot a cop in the chest!" during conversations in which Sonny is discussed in glowing terms. Come on, how much better would that last sentence have been if someone turned it into "to treat Sonny as a real person who shot a cop in the chest!" MUCH better.
Robin: Look, I know Sonny has made mistakes. And I don't-- I don't make excuses for them.
Patrick: People in Sonny's world, they get hurt. They die. It's not a coincidence.
Robin: Don't exaggerate.
That's...not exaggerating. See? Her blind spot for Sonny is robbing me of my ability to speak in full sentences!
While I instinctively roll my eyes at the Sonny propping and am inclined to take Patrick's Sonny-hating side (were I, you know, forced to take sides in an ongoing, poorly written argument between two fictional characters), it doesn't make his one-track mind any less irritating. How can he lecture Robin about not trying to sway a juror when he pretty much did the same thing yesterday? And while I am asking questions, can someone explain to me why this show is so staunchly committed to making me hate every single character on the show, save for Cameron?
I mean, even with her rampant disdain for Sonny, Claire is still horrendous.
I can't stand her! I find Dahlia Salem to be so unnatural and hammy and annoying to the point where I can't even appreciate her anti-Sonny zingers.
Claire: You lied about how you got shot. That's very hard for me to overlook. Now, I know you have integrity, Dante. I suggest you find it, or you might as well turn in your badge.
Ugh, shut up, you are terrible!
It's no secret that I adore Laura Wright and have grown fond of Carly again in the past year, for which many of you judge me. But I can't help it! She's so charming and has such pretty hair, and I find myself watching sometimes and asking, "How can people hate her?" and then the writers go overboard with their "Carly and Jason are awesome, awesome, AWESOME!" campaign and I remember. Oh, how I remember.
Ever since I read that Kristina would be seriously assaulted and point the finger at Ethan, I knew that Jason would be the person to realize that Ethan was innocent after all. But I didn't think that Carly would be involved! How stupid of me, right? As if the show would pass up the opportunity to shoehorn Carly into a story with more than enough players already involved and make her, and her great instincts, the hero!
Jason: Why do you think Kristina lied about who attacked her?
Carly: She's traumatized. People do strange things when they've been abused. I think she's lying to protect the person who really did this to her.
Jason: Ok, who do you think that person is?
Carly: Who would a girl Kristina's age want to protect? Who would she be so afraid of losing, she'd lie for? Her boyfriend, Kiefer.
I mean, more people should be suspicious of Kiefer, since a few of them have seen him behaving inappropriately to Kristina, Michael and Morgan, but why did it have to be Carly?!
And did anyone else find it kind of amusing that Carly is so, well, loud and screechy about Kristina telling the truth when she has bent over backwards to make sure that Michael CAN'T tell the truth. I mean, yeah, about a different issue, but still! The truth is only important in certain situations and usually, the other, non-Carly person has to be the one telling it...
Back to Kiefer for a second: creeper.
How disturbing were the shots of him lurking outside while Lucky talked to Kristina?! Can I take another second to praise Christian Alexander? He has been so, so good.
As has Lexi Ainsworth.
Seriously, she's been pitch perfect throughout what I imagine to be a seriously grueling story and she's making a very complicated and lazily written character work. There's no getting around the fact that the writers effed up something fierce by having Kristina knowingly accuse Ethan (How much better and soapier would it have been if she were seriously disoriented when she said his name? These people fail at life), but she's still sympathetic. I LOVED her scenes with Lucky today, and even her conversation with Sonny.
Well, I mean, aside from this:
Sonny: My mother used to get beat up by my stepfather, and she used to end up in the hospital, ok? And no--no matter what, she would protect him. No matter how much he hurt her...
Kristina: You never told me.
Sonny: I don't like talking about it, you know?
I think that he meant to say that he doesn't like talking about it unless he can use it to justify his current behavior or garner sympathy for himself.
But anyway, LA and Maurice Benard were very, very good together and I was genuinely touched.
How awkward was it when Lulu told Ethan about Luke and Laura's dark history?
Lulu: I have a feeling that you could have done something bad, because my dad once did something bad to my mom.
Ethan: Luke did something bad? I don't believe it. He'd never do anything horrible. Zany and hilarious? Sure. But bad? No.
Lulu: Yeah, but he did, and it was awful.
Ethan: Tell me what it was.
Ethan: Tell me!
Lulu: He raped my mom.
Ethan: Kind of not what I was expecting...
Okay, that was paraphrased, which you could probably tell because Ethan spoke English, while most of what actually appeared onscreen was a garbled mess of random consonants that in no way resembled real words.