Secrets and Lies
It was the episode of The Young and the Restless that people have been waiting for, for ages: Adam continued to be confronted with all of his lies and schemes, Ashley heard that she had a hysterical pregnancy and Sharon realized that Ashley's Faith is actually Sharon's faith. So it was action-packed AND educational, because I learned three really important things.
1.) Sharon Case needs a deep-conditioning treatment in a major way.
2.) Josh Morrow has an astonishing number of facial expressions that fall under the umbrella description "Caveman Face"
3.) This show can be kind of ridiculous.
Let's take a look at Friday's episode, shall we?
The action opens at the Abbott cabin, where all of the show's major players have convened to try and convict Adam for his various crimes and misdemeanors. That's not my being descriptive: Jack actually referred to them as Adam's jury and then went around polling them about his guilt or innocence, and I would have rolled my eyes a lot of I hadn't already rolled them so hard that I was nearly paralyzed at the sight of Victor's leather jacket.
It doesn't quite surpass Robin Scorpio's hideous plaid coat as my least favorite piece of soap clothing, but it's up there. You'd think it impossible for Victor Newman to look like more of a pompous tool, and he tugs that jacket on and pairs it with high waisted jeans, and then you realize that there is no limit to how pompously toolish he is.
Where was I? Oh, right, Jack and his jury.
Jack: We all know the evidence, Adam. You manipulated Heather to have your prison sentence reduced. Then when you were at the ranch pretending to be blind under house arrest, you set out to undermine Ashley's sanity to get back at Victor, or to get back at me. You made Estella your scapegoat, and then when Rafe, her nephew, started asking questions, you made a mockery of his sexuality to get him off the trail. You misled Nikki. You all but surely sicced the S.E.C. on Victoria. You married Sharon to stick it to Nick, and now you won't tell them where their child is. Am I leaving anyone out, Adam?
Billy: This bastard hurt my sister. That's enough for me.
Jack: You know what? I think we ought to poll the jury.
First of all, this entire scene was just silly. Secondly, "You misled Nikki"? Really? That's so bad that she gets a vote in this ludicrous experiment? Please.
And then they all went around pronouncing him guilty, like this was a real thing! I was shocked and horrified, and I found it highly unrealistic that Adam just silently pondered how to get himself out of this situation and didn't burst out laughing at how insane they all were. I mean, really, Nikki?
Nikki: I think Adam Wilson is the single most corrupt person I have ever met. Guilty.
The most corrupt person ever? Woman, you've married Victor and spoken to Gloria. Adam's not the most corrupt person you've interacted with in the last hour.
Victor: And I add my condemnation to that list.
Shut the hell up, you cankerous old prune.
After the jury votes and convicts Adam of being evil (which, hello, big shocker, since most of them hated Adam upon sight!), Billy holds him while Nick readies himself to attack. Ashley and Sharon express synchronized shock.
And Josh Morrow is so, so bad in this episode. I know the man isn't Peter Bergman (but who is?), but I mostly found him serviceable. His performance here was just TERRIBLE, though.
Before he gets the chance to add "being terrible at pretending to fight someone" to the list of acting crimes he committed in this show, Phyllis runs in and says that they won't have to get far to find out the truth.
Phyllis explains the story about the letter Dr. Taylor wrote addressed to "Mrs. Newman" and there's a hilarious moment as everyone tries to figure out which Mrs. Newman he could have meant. Phyllis dramatically walks over to Sharon, and then tells Ashley that the letter is for her.
Ashley reads the letter and angrily crumples it up, spitting that it's a ridiculous lie. Victor puts his reading glasses on and takes a look for himself
He announces that Ashley had a hysterical pregnancy. As he reads the rest of the letter, Ashley stares into space and refuses to believe any of what he is reading, and then this happens over a span of three seconds after people start theorizing about how she could have miscarried.
Ashley: Oh, god, you don't think if I'd fallen, I'd have remembered that?
Ashley: ::Has flashback to falling::
Ashley: I think I fell down the stairs.
She has some more flashbacks to the night of her miscarriage, and Jack paces angrily, and Adam tries lamely to blame things on Estella some more, and then Victoria asks the big question: if Ashley wasn't really pregnant, where the eff did she get a baby from? Sharon gasps and everyone in the cabin stares at each other and into space like they are on The Hills.
Sharon starts to collapse, and when Nick catches her, she dreamily says that their baby is alive, just like Cassie said. Outside, Victoria and Phyllis have a seriously awkward conversation that ends with Victoria giving Phyllis her car keys to go home.
Ashley, meanwhile, refuses to even accept that there is a possibility that Faith isn't hers, and as her brothers privately worry about her, she begs Victor to get Adam to admit that none of this is true. He does this by putting Adam in a chokehold.
I get it, Y&R: Victor is the strongest, manliest man to ever live. You have made your point repeatedly.
Jack asks Ashley if she's okay.
Ashley: I mean, I've recovered from everything Adam's done to me. I am strong again, and I am back in control of my life. Faith and I are fine.
Look at the Y&R writers, learning what "irony" and "foreshadowing" mean! If only they looked up "subtle", too...
Sharon interrupts this cozy, albeit eerie, moment by telling Ashley how sorry she is that everything in Ashley's life has been ripped to shreds, which is a nice sentiment, but probably could have waited until a later moment.
Ashley: Sharon, don't feel bad for me, Sweetie. Faith's not your baby. Don't even start thinking that way, or you're just gonna end up with your heart broken all over again.
Sharon responds with a seriously funny, "This bitch ain't right" face.
Nikki remembers how off Adam was acting the night of Ashley's fall, contributing little to this episode other than a few sneers and bitchfaces.
Outside, Nick and Victoria talk. Victoria says she is a complete wreck over everything that's happened, and I'm glad that she said that, because Amelia Heinle's performance did not indicate that Victoria felt any emotion at all, let alone many of them. Nick, for his part, says that he needs to clear his head, and I have to wonder how that man's mind could possibly be any clearer. He wonders where Phyllis went...
...and she went home, where she is with Michael, pouring her heart out over the mess that is her life. Phyllis has been irking me to no end lately, to the point that I actively prayed for her to be written off of the show, but this scene with Michael really made me remember why I ever liked her. I don't know if it's because she showed an emotion other than smugness, or because Michelle Stafford and Christian LeBlanc work so well together. At any rate, she admits that she contemplated burning the letter (Michael's delight upon hearing that he is the reason that she didn't was adorable) and confesses that she was relieved when Sharon's baby "died". I still have no idea why she was ever part of this story to begin with, but I'm all cried out over that.
Back at the cabin, Victor authoritatively kicks everybody out. At least I think it was supposed to be an authoritative tone of voice--Eric Braeden is so monotone that you have to make pretty big assumptions. Sharon agrees to stay with Victor and Nikki, Billy is given the "watch Ashley" duty and Nick's big, dramatic comeback to the brother who has ruined his life?
Nick: I hope you burn in hell.
Adam: I'll see you there.
Elsewhere, Victoria sits at her laptop and reads aloud a definition of hysterical pregnancy, from WebMD to explain to viewers that this isn't something that the writers made up for storyline purposes, they just pulled it out of their asses for storyline purposes Sharon and Nikki what this condition is.
Way to be useful, Victoria! Sharon is completely convinced that Ashley's baby is hers.
Speaking of, Ashley is holding Faith while Billy watches her with great concern, as she beams at her baby and stresses again that Faith is her child and that she loves her. I totally see things ending well for Ash, don't you?
Then, Victor and Jack, at the cabin, plan for the next phase of their Adam smackdown and tell him to go with them. Adam has other plans though, and then this hilarity happens:
- Adam grabs a fireplace poker
- Adam brandishes the fireplace poker menacingly at Victor and Jack
- Victor and Jack stare blankly as Adam bolts
- Adam runs outside and uses a chair to jam the door shut
And Instead of exiting one of the cabin's other doors, Victor and Jack merely shout angrily at Adam
I would have had more respect for the writers if they had said, "We have no other way to end this episode, so...yeah", because this was just so, so, unintentionally funny.
What did you think, Serial Drama readers? Was this episode everything you had hoped for and more, or did most of it make you cringe from secondhand embarrassment?