The One With Brand New Information
I wouldn't blame you for watching today's episode and thinking to yourself, "Why am I re-living old episodes of General Hospital? What the hell is happening to me and how can I make it stop?!" before calling 911 in distress for what seems to be the beginning of a nervous breakdown. Or, if you're not prone to a potent combination of melodrama and hypochondria, assuming that ABC aired a repeat for some reason.
After all, today saw:
Sonny having a violent outburst of anger and taking it out on his stemware
The appearance of a beloved legacy character...as a ghost, because the writers killed them off for absolutely no reason
Maxie and Spinelli reiterating that they love each other
Maxie: I want to go back. I want to go back right this second. No bad boy will love me as much as Spinelli does. I would be a fool to leave him.
The fundamentals of the American justice system being set on fire because the GH writers can't bother to Google "What does a jury do?"
But no, it was not a rerun or a psychotic episode. It was just a rehash of a rehash of a rehash.
Let's start out with the positives...erm, positive.
Little in this ever-changing world in which we live is consistent, but I can reliably be counted on for a good-old fashioned rant come Emmy nomination time, and then again at the Emmys and (depending on the Emmy results) after the Emmys, about Tony Geary's endless nominations, and why has "good acting" become synonymous with "cheesy mugging" and what on earth does this man have to do to NOT get nominated for an Emmy, and I usually throw in a "Please ban this man from ever giving another 'telling it like it is' and 'edgy' interview and the character of Luke" tangent, because once you get me started on certain topics, I will literally not stop talking until I run out of air/will literally not stop typing until my fingers are sore.
That was a roundabout way (and surprisingly negative, since it's supposed to lead into a positive) of saying that I often have problems with Tony Geary's performances, but when he puts his mind to it and takes the acting equivalent of an appetite suppressant, he is capable of being truly, subtly good, and Luke and Kristina's scenes today were a sterling example of that.
Kristina: Ethan said if I were a little more mature, he'd be a happy man.
Luke: He said that to you?
Kristina: To you, at the Haunted Star. That's why I got dressed up, to look more mature.
Luke: Well, I'm sure there was more to the conversation than that. But that doesn't matter now. You misunderstood.
Kristina: I thought I looked grown up in that dress. And Ethan's so cool and... I thought I understood what he really wanted even if he couldn't tell me. It sounds ridiculous.
Luke: No, it doesn't. Not at all.
Kristina: I thought he'd be happy that I broke his date with Jennifer, that I was letting him off the hook or something. But... I was totally wrong and I made him mad.
Luke: Well, he shouldn't have yelled at you. And he shouldn't have lost his temper. He shouldn't have grabbed you.
Kristina: I threw a drink at him.
Luke: Well, of course, but he-- you know, he should have just walked away. There's no excuse for his getting rough.
Kristina: He scared me.
Luke: Whoever did this to you has done it before, haven't they? Kristina, I grew up with a father who beat me. Every day. He also beat my sister and my mother. I know what it's like to be scared. Helpless. And I know what it's like to protect the person who hurt you the most.
So, so good. Luke was so gentle with and respectful of Kristina, TG was great and Lexi Ainsworth continues to do an impressive job of giving it her all even when her characterization veers wildly from day to day.
I was trying to think of a clever way to segue from "veering wildly from day to day" into a discussion of Sonny's rage issues, but there's not so much veering going on in that area, is there? Well, I guess he does veer from cartoonish rage to violent rage...
Seriously, Jax went to the trouble of bringing Claire in to prosecute this case, and her biggest example of legal strategery thus far has been to have a witness needle Sonny into having a violent outburst in front of the jury? Maybe I'd be more impressed if that wasn't Sonny's default reaction to, oh, I don't know, everything that has ever happened to him.
Sonny, walking down the street, encounters a series of cracks in the sidewalk and is peeved that he may need to step on one, thereby breaking the back of his sainted mother: Shut your mouth, you little weasel!
Sonny, driving on the highway behind someone who doesn't use turn signals: Your sister was a conniving little witch who got exactly what she deserved!
Sonny, after burning his tongue on a sip of too-hot coffee: ::unintelligible ranting::
Seriously, he is angry ALL THE TIME. Unless he's working the dimples to get out of a problem caused by his rage-issues and regular law-breaking, his face always looks like this:
So sorry, Claire, for not mustering more of a reaction than a Christian Bale-like, "Gooood for youuuuuu!" and a roll of the eye at Dahlia Salem's bizarre enunciation.
Claire: The government pays my salary. But at this point, I'll bring you down for free.
It was...good? To see Georgie being all sunshiney and supportive of her sister, and to see Lindze Leatherman being all gorgeous and actually on a television program. Oh, fuck it, I can't even pretend: Georgie and Maxie's reunion should have been heartwarming and sweet and instead made me curse the television gods for making scenes like this a rarity since, you know, the talentless hack writers brutally killed Georgie.
Maxie: Thank you so much, Georgie. You're an amazing sister.
Yeah, no fucking kidding, Maxie! Why do you think rational GH viewers are still pissed that she's dead?! Ugggh, this show!
I will say that Bradford Anderson gave an impressive performance today. I wish that he'd get more meaty, serious scenes, because he always does such a fantastic job with them and reminds me that, underneath the layers and layers of dweeb and tortured gibberish, there is potential for Spinelli to be a good character. Potential that the writers will never tap into because they fail at literally everything they even contemplate doing, but potential nonetheless.
So pretty, but so, so...doomed. I do so appreciate people calling Sonny out for what he is, but this is not going to end well for you! You're pretty much guaranteed to be the second person, after Drew Garrett, to be removed from the new GH credits.