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« As Tears Go By | Main | Soap Blog Coalition »

April 21, 2010

Bad Idea Jeans

Until I read a news headline saying something along the lines of "Actor Drew Garrett finally arrested after his years-long crime spree of child-stalking, kitten murder and Epiphany/Spinelli fanfic writing" or hear backstage gossip that he was being mean to Braden Walkes and tormenting the cast and crew by singing Nickelback songs in between takes, I am going to remain on the record as thinking there is no earthly reason for them to rush the recast of Michael so that a brand new stranger is the one having pivotal scenes confessing to killing Claudia. Like, it couldn't have waited until the end of the week?

To be fair, it IS entirely possible that the emergency recast was necessary, but I have no direct knowledge about that and lots of direct knowledge about the spectacular ineptitude of the people in charge of General Hospital, so I can't help but add this to the list of this show's bad ideas. It's just so...jarring.


Michael: You're not a very good cop, are you?
Dante: Well, I'm not hearing anything convincing.
Michael: No, you want it to be dad, because you want to be right. You built this case and you don't want to see your big investigation count for nothing.
Dante: You know, I doubt that's even Claudia's blood, and even if it is, I'm sure it got on there some other way.
Michael: Don't you wonder why Jason let Franco hang around as long as he did? It's because he had photos of me kneeling beside Claudia's dead body. Franco was outside the cabin that night, but no one saw him and Jason couldn't kill him because he would have turned those photos over to the cops.
Dante: That's some story.
Michael:Ever since that night, everyone has been trying to cover for me for something I did. My mom, Sam, Jason, but my dad has done the most. He took the blame and now he's on trial risking everything for me. Do you still think my dad is a piece of garbage?

Yes, I still do Random Boy--I mean, Michael. But more importantly, I kept having to remind myself what was going on whenever the show went back to you and Dante, because I kept thinking, "Who IS this kid?" and "Why is he saying that he killed Claudia? Michael killed Claudi...oh, right", and it was seriously disorienting. It would have been better for poor Chad Duell (seriously, this poor boy has a tough time ahead of him, stepping into a role that won his predecessor lots of acclaim and I am trying so, so hard to be fair and non-judgmental, even though that completely goes against everything I stand for) and the audience if he didn't get thrown right into these meaty, story-changing scenes.

On the plus side...Chad Duell is insanely tall, to the point where it's even noticeable when he and Dominic Zamprogna are sitting next to each other.


I totally cannot even wait for his first scenes with Maurice Benard (assuming that they are ever actually filmed in the same frame, that is). I should start stockpiling clever Weeble jokes now, in case I can't think of anything witty through my peals of laughter.

The rest of the show was almost completely unremarkable.

  • Carly and Claire sparred, and while Claire is strident and irksome, not even she can compare to Carly on the warpath. She got a few nice digs in about the cluster that is the Sonny/Carly union, but Carly matched her word for word, with extraordinary smugness and fury.

    Claire: You want to talk about twisting words? You just committed perjury to defend a mob kingpin who makes your children targets, who got one of them shot. What kind of mother are you?
    Carly: The kind of mother who knows how to play the jury. And you're choking on it. You tried every trick in the book to get me flustered and mess up my testimony, but it didn't work. I beat you.

  • Maya went to Luke for guidance about how to deal with Edward and his need to control everybody around him. Maya is so lovely and I love reminiscing about Mary Mae, even if it does have the unintended consequence of depressing me with memories of how good this show once was...

  • Skye (whose presence in Port Charles I still can't explain) talked to Jax about his vendetta against Sonny and how it's creating all sorts of misery, and if we're being completely honest with each other, which we are, because we're friends, I was paying maybe 25% attention to all of this.
  • Which is more attention than I paid to everything Maxie related. While it IS hilarious to have Jason play completely unwilling relationship counselor and react all confused and uncomfortable to all of Maxie's lines about actually wanting a bad boy and not Spinelli, I am exhausted by these two and their romance. Actually, that's not the right word; it's more hate-filled than exhausted. I remember a time when I adored Maxie. It feels so long ago that when I think about it, my memories are all in sepia! And now...now, the sound of her high-pitched babbling about who knows what and why, is going to be high on the list of stressors that may send me on a crime spree.
  • Johnny is looking for a new place to live, after he and Olivia adorably house-hunted, he told her that he thought that they should have a life together and she pretty much stamped on his heart and set it on fire. Or did the slightly less melodramatic thing and said, "I'm sorry John, that could never happen" and it was all very strange. Poor Johnny, who had just been gazing at her adoringly!

There were, however, a few exciting things. Very few, and perhaps not "exciting" and more "not completely horrifying and/or boring", but still. Like, we saw the elusive Matt Hunter!


So that was exciting. And the noble patient who is going to change Elizabeth's life taught Patrick how to dance and anyone who sat through Night Shift knows just how necessary this impromptu lesson was, since Patrick often dances as though his arms and legs are being controlled by two different people who are both a step or two of the beat of the song they're listening to.


There was also a strange scene between Patrick and Claire at Jake's. Once you got past wondering why Claire would be at the bar (or, as she called it, "local pub") owned by one of her jurors and after the you almost certainly rolled your eyes after Patrick started talking about Robin and Sonny's friendship (my soft-spot for Dr. Drake is well documented, but he is the biggest gossip in Port Charles), their conversation led to some nice truth-telling about the town's noble mobster.


Patrick: Robin has a long history with Sonny. She has a way of overlooking the bad and only seeing the good. She romanticizes Sonny. I don't. I think Sonny's dangerous. And he hides behind all of the innocent people who line up to protect him.
Claire: It's pretty smart. It makes it impossible to go after Sonny without doing damage to the people who love him.
Patrick: That's right. They all enable him. They don't realize or care that they're part of the cycle that perpetuates the damage. But you have a distinct advantage.
Claire: How so?
Patrick: You have no emotional ties to any of those people. It frees you up to go after Sonny any way you can. I have to admit that, as a father who is planning to raise his daughter in Port Charles and doesn't want her hit by a stray bullet from a mob shootout, I hope to god you do what you can to put Sonny in jail where he belongs.

Whenever somebody says that Sonny belongs in jail, an angel gets its wings. So, um, obviously there are not very many winged angels out there...


You know when I first heard about the cancer patient arc I jokingly referred to her as Magical Cancer Patient or MCP for short. I joked about her magically improving the lives of everyone she meets and how she would help the show use the hospital cast better....leave it to GH to let be right on this one thing. I want to like Shirely...I do honest. I just...can't. I just cant'. I may in fact have become a hater.

I'm sorry was Maxie talking today? I may have turned on Glee instead to drown her out.

I have been waiting for the new weeble jokes ever since I first saw Chad Duvall's pictures where he was towering over his older on-screen brother. I makes me giddy with anticipation.

Wasn't GH number one at one point? Why don't the writers go back to the storylines during those years and work off of that? Maybe if they did they wouldn't be in the bottom 3...?

I'm still laughing at your "sepia" joke. You're deliciously witty.

I want a Sonny NuMichael hug do bad I may put off quitting GH just to see that hilarity.

Time flies, I didn't realize six months had past until I saw Dr. Hunter's 8 second scene. See ya around Halloween Matt!

I know Sonny will go free. But for perjury Claire could lock up Carly for a while. She admitted she lied, and I only like Carly behind bars ;-)

Poor no balls Jax. Upon hearing Josslyn was used to manipulate the jurors by his wife the Queen of Lies he didn't even flinch. He'll be giving Jason pedicures soon, Carly has whipped him into submission, RIP Real Jax :-(

And you're right, Patrick is the new Amy Vining. What I loathe is how respectful & kind he is to all women on this Sonny matter, except his wife! But since she is Pod Robin I barely care. What a sad waste of Scrubs :-( If he would turn on Carly like he did Sonny I might forgive his assy behavior. But I am sure he thinks Carly is as super as ever which makes his enabler speech to Claire BS. Uchhhh

One more thing that was honestly upsetting. LLC now makes KS look curvy. "Olivia" in sleeveless today was painful. All her shoulder neck and arm bones were sticking out sharply. And when she moved her arms it was all skin and bones moving, no visable muscle, meaning she is beyond extremely thin. Her body is eating it's own muscle because she is starving.

Sorry is this offends, but glamorizing this kind of extreme is harmful. And I hope LLC gets help. If she looks like that on air, in reality she must look.....

Sorry to get serious, but I was truly upset from seeing her today. I hope she will be alright.

Okay, I just finished watching GH. Whatever happened to the loving SCRUBS of last year? Anyone remember them standing up for each other and declaring their love in Nov/Dec? I see a breakup looming on the horizon or a cheating Patrick blaming Robin for his actions.

I also wish that Carly would go to jail for perjury and Josslyn can go live with Lady Jane. Just get that lying slut off my screen. Pod-Jax is ball-less.

Nu-nu-Michael's first scene with Sonny is bound to leave us all in fits of laughter. I know Dante is supposed to be 20 but looks closer to 30 and in no way can pass for Sonny or Olivia's kid unless he was conceived when they were in grade school (make that Kindergarten).

Poor Matt was brushed off for his 6 seconds of airtime this quarter, time for him to go back in his corner. It seems Maxie is with Spinelli more out of pity than anything else. PLEASE BREAK THEM UP so I don't have to ff Maxie.

I think the writers couldn't figure out how to put Lisa at the bar with Patrick and that was the only reason we had that random Jake's scene with Claire. Odd.

I feel sorry for Chad Duell, having to come in on such meaty material and after such a lengthy build up to this moment. Why oh WHY couldn't they have let Drew Garrett play out at LEAST the confession scene with Dante?? Did he really shove the bug that far up Guza's ass to be relegated to such hell?

Oh you guys...do you REALLY think they'll let Chad Duell tower over oompa-loompa-sized Maurice Benard? I'm sure he's thrown a mini-fit over THAT long ago, and Guza is not about to let his favorite Soprano be unhappy, lest he be whacked (because I'm convinced that GUZA is convinced that Sonny is not a character but a real gangster).

It's a known fact that in the movie The Blue Lagoon, Brooke Shields was several inches taller than her male co-star, Christopher Atkins. Therefore, they would dig trenches in the sand for her to walk in so she wouldn't tower over him, or in still scenes, they would have him standing on a box.

So the phrase, "Sonny was on his soap box today" will have a whole new meaning.

I was looking forward to your comments about Chad Duell's height and you didn't disappoint. Drew Garrett was also taller, but nuNuMichael seems even taller, though not skinnier. Not that there's anything wrong with being a short man (my father is 5'5", and look how cute Michael J. Fox is) but I just loved how Chad Duell was able to look down at Dante. I can't wait to see him with Mumbles. I agree, why didn't the show wait at least a few more days to finish out this storyline, as the whole time I was watching I kept wondering what Drew Garrett would have done in the scene.

I want to comment on the Liz/cancer patient story. When people were saying how oncology is depressing, Liz has avoided it (can nurses really avoid certain floors?), "people die there," she can't handle it...don't people die everywhere in hospitals? What about the NICU, CICU, geriatrics, the ER, people in comas? If she is afraid of death or of being depressed, why is she a nurse? She's supposed to be helping alleviate patients' suffering. The whole scenario is insulting as if cancer patients are some kind of pariah, no one wants to be around them and everyone who has cancer dies. I am a cancer survivor of 7+ years & I am bugged by what Liz, Patrick and Steven all said about working in oncology. But then again, this is GH we're talking about so I shouldn't be surprised.

Two things come to mind about the Shirley Smith character.

1. Could she be related to Frank Smith?

And 2. She says she's dying but this is a soap - She can always go into remission and get hooked up to an older cast member (think: Sonny's dad Mike).

Trying really hard not to hate nu-Michael (hating simply based that he is not DG, who I had grown to really like) BUT... Seriously? WTF is up with that kid's hair? The height thing is an issue - it's terribly distracting, but not nearly as distracting as that puffy mess of hair.

Mwahaha - very funny Shelli! Why? Why? Why? That's all I kept saying to the TV yesterday. Yes, the new guy seems like he's not going to be horrible (but I'm reserving judgement).....but I too spent my time wondering how DG would have handled the scenes. Such a shame to lose the impact of these (finally) scenes because we keep thinking we switched the channel. And for god's sake Maxie make up your effing mind. A couple of weeks ago Angel Georgie was convincing you that you couldn't be without Spinelli - now he's not exciting enough again. Spinelli needs to bump his head, forget his spinelli language, get a bad boy makeover and have Maxie chasing after him. I know, I'm one of the very very few who don't mind this duo. Please don't judge me.

Do not want the new Michael.

Tired of petty immature SL's for scrubs. Write a mature story that we can sink our teeth into. Stop making Patrick act like a nosy busy body.

Tired of Sonny, Carly, and Jason show. Don't care to watch Sam with Jason either. He's an emotional borg.

Maxie and Spinelli - so grating, I can't watch it anymore, and all they do is repeat the same lines

Maxi - 'I love you so much Spinelli, I can't live my life without you, blah blah blah, I'm everything with you....'

Who cares anymore? Spinelli needs to go. Maxi needs a real adult relationship. She was good opposite James Franco. Bring her back in a steamy relationship with someone she has chemistry with.

Can we please have a black family on this show? And not the random black character who is on screen so briefly I don't know what they said?

Can we have gay characters too? Please? Some diversity other than the ridiculous mob crap?

Can we just stop this SL with Liz not knowing Lucky is the daddy? It's so freaking played out... sigh. Jonathan Jackson has sunk into a crappy SL.. like all the rest.

More Lucky and Dante together doing their cop thing. It's interesting... and I like seeing good guys doing something. Jeez.

Mac and Alexis, please. I want them to have a SL.

How about Felicia making a visit to Maxie, to check in on her, etc. Nothing was brought up about Felicia when Maxie was sick.

How about Anna Devane... coming to see her granddaughter? She hasn't seen her since she was born for heaven's sake.

More family scenes... something. I wouldn't mind having another Amy Vining type character working at the hospital. I loved Shell Kepler and miss her alot!

To Amanda. Yes, GH was the #1 show for almost a decade. They had supercouples, family, friendship, romance, adventure and love in the afternoon. Interestingly enough, both Bob Guza and Jill Phelps worked for GH during that time (Guza as a script writer and Phelps as the head of music). I'm thinking they resented the small roles that had at that time and are now relishing in the power they have. It would also explain the reason all the uber-popular 80s vets were pretty much destroyed. I think they're threatened by anyone taking "airtime" away from the unholy three. It's really just sad. Gloria Monty must be rolling over in her grave.

Except for his height- nu-Michael is very underwhelming to me. Something about him just seems off...and not even just related to the character of Michael. Can't put my finger on it.

If I recall GH switch Carlys on a key day. Tamara left when Michael kidnapped by AJ and the new Carly (JB?) played the scene when he was returned.... guess GH figures jump into the fire with new actors....

BTW Patrick-- always scares me when a character bashes Sonny --something bad happens to them.. like they get killed off hope Patrick is sticking around....glad Matt had his 8 seconds for the year

love your comments. gave up on the show but your blog is must reading so much better than the show..

James St. James's perspective on nuMichael is hilarious: http://worldofwonder.net/2010/04/22/The_new_Michael_on_General_Hospi/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+WowReport+%28WOW+Report%29&utm_content=Google+Reader

The Michael recast was pretty bad timing. But the baddest timing of all time had to be when Carly 3 started the week Michael was returned from being kidnapped or something. Tamara Braun was so emotional and amazing, and had terrific chemistry with the original Michael, but the new Carly could not even shed a tear. Nor even really emote. At all. Just a week longer would have allowed us to have the payoff to a storyline that was weeks and weeks in the making, but no. I should have known way back then which way this shitty show was going.

Well... at least this: Yay! Nu-Michael got a hair cut. Now it's only his size & the fact that he's not DG that leaves me feeling terribly distracted during all his scenes.

Oh yeah, one more comment... I thought of you Serial Drama girls when Diane uttered the last word of her closing arguments...


Can't wait to read your take on that!

I want to know how Franco could have turned those photos over to the cops if he was DEAD.

I was a little on the fence about the new kid. But he's growing on me. Oh, and I gotta wonder how he found the time for a haircut in the time between his exit from the island and his arrival and Dante's apartment (especially since transit time via PC and the island seems to only be 15 minutes).

I just hope this doesn't turn into infinite recasting ala Carly. Remember that God-awful woman who had the role before Laura Wright? And that asinine storyline with Kari Wuhrer? That was some AWFUL television, right there.

If Patrick has become so anti-Sonny, how the hell does he justify his friendship with Carly, the self-appointed president of the "Sonny is really a GOOD man, despite his homicidal tendencies" club?? Don't get me wrong, I agree whole-heartedly with his assessment that Sonny deserves to rot in prison for the rest of his miserable life, but what really boggles the mind is the inconsistencies here. Though, why I'm surprised I have no idea - not like the GH writers are known for being consistent, unless its consistently bad.

Don't understand why they couldn't wait till this storyline played out if they had to get rid of DG for some reason. Dominic Z said he had no idea they recast Michael until the day before he was supposed to have scenes with NuMichael. Although since when does GH do anything that makes sense.

I love Drew Garrett
He is really very nice actor.

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