And by "she", I mean Rebecca Budig, and by "what she said", I mean "what she thought about today's episode of All My Children because ABC thought that both she and this episode were so amazing and pivotal, respectively, that an episode that featured her commentary was absolutely necessary".
Oh, and also necessary was ABC.com's explanation of this new-fangled commentary for rubes like us who may be a little confused about the words "Rebecca will pipe in with any thoughts she has about the episode, its taping, the writing, or anything else that crosses her mind. What actor does she think is cute? And what does she have to say about her hair? That and much, much more!" Like, what?! What could that possibly mean?! I don't understand! But luckily they cleared it up with "Think of it like the commentary you get on DVDs" and I'm suddenly way less confused, if more peeved because being treated like an idiot by the people responsible for bringing ups All My Children and General Hospital is seriously insulting.
Do I seem bitter? I don't mean to, because, actually, I DO think Rebecca Budig is three feet, six inches of awesome adorability and adorable awesomeness, and I WAS looking forward to this episode, because: Alicia Minshew! I have sorely missed Kendall and her gorgeous self. I just think it's a little strange! I mean, I'd love to hear Rebecca Budig (and Alicia Minshew's) thoughts on this show. I just think I'd prefer to hear it in a non-ABC Daytime setting, since then she could be really honest...
Here are some of her thoughts:
On David Canary: Thank god David Canary got to lie down in a scene and not have any lines. He's had so much to do in this last month...I miss him already.
On Alicia Minshew: I love acting with her. She does such a good job in this scene.
On Jamie Luner and the new DA: I think they should just have sex right there on the table. Look at her. She's a hot tamale.
On Fake Eyelashes: Look at her eyelashes. All the girls wear fake eyelashes, and I just found this out the other day. I was very upset. I’m like, “Hey, I’m left out of this mix.” So, I put some fake eyelashes on the other day. I think she’s so pretty - I’m not even looking at [JR]!
On her hair: My hair is really flipped out...oh God, my hair...here we go with that hair...My hair. I can't take it.
On the Damon storyline: He was in a car accident, right?
(This cracked me up, because nobody cares about this story, even the people on the show!)
On Debbi Morgan: I want to make out with Debbi Morgan. I love her. There she goes. Oh, dear God. Sometimes she gets herself all messed up. She put the oxygen mask upside down on me once, and I was laughing hysterically.
On Adam Mayfield: Adam Mayfield's a really nice guy. He and I want to go camping together.
On the scripts: I sound tired. I think I had over 50 pages to learn. It's the first time I had over 50 pages...We had fun doing these scenes. And the scenes that will follow. Except at the end of those 50 pages we were a little delirious.
On motorcycle bride: Oh that's just silliness with the veil on my head.
And now here are some of my thoughts.
Greenlee: There was no accident. There were no accidents, were there? You wanted Ryan. You were trying to kill me.
OMFG. Like Kendall would have to resort to accidental murder to get rid of competition for Ryan's love. All you need to do to seduce Ryan away from the current love of his life who he is devoted to is...well, pretty much walk past him and say "What's up, dude?" ! He'd be all over that with whispered declarations of love within minutes, no manslaughter needed!