I can't even tell you how many times I have sat down to write about All My Children and wound up fast asleep, drooling on my keyboard and having dreams that were more coherent and more interesting than recent episodes of AMC have been.
Well, I can't tell you that because, technically, the answer is "zero", because whenever I give AMC even a moment's thought after the end of an episode, I think to myself, "Isn't there something more fun you could be doing besides thinking about AMC?" And is something--many somethings! Like...ironing. Painting my nails and immediately taking the nail polish off to do it again, in a different color. Writing my signature on a legal pad, over and over. Counting how many times per half hour a commercial for (the seemingly vile, and we all know that I have few to no standards when it comes to trash TV) Pretty Wild airs. Watching C-SPAN.
The point is that this show is so boring that it makes commentary impossible. I mean, not ALL of it is boring, and what isn't is so poorly written and implausible (and silly! What's with Janet's 1960s nurse get-up?) that I could probably talk lots and lots about it, and, sure, I'd love to mention that the one storyline I have been wholeheartedly enjoying (David and Greenlee) is being tainted by far, far too much Ryan (and yes, when I say "far, far too much" I obviously mean "any, at all, ever. PS: Write him off the show") but then I'd type Marissa or Natalia's names, and any righteous irritation I had would just evaporate on account of the boring.
If you are one of the (very) few people still watching: what are your tips for staying awake for an entire episode and having enough energy after it ends to crack jokes at its expense? Coffee? Illegal narcotics? Obsessively watching the facial expressions of extras in the background in hopes of something hilarious? I welcome any and all advice.