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« Don't Look Back In Anger | Main | I Think I'm About To Become a 'Shipper »

May 04, 2010

Being Boring

I can't even tell you how many times I have sat down to write about All My Children and wound up fast asleep, drooling on my keyboard and having dreams that were more coherent and more interesting than recent episodes of AMC have been.

Well, I can't tell you that because, technically, the answer is "zero", because whenever I give AMC even a moment's thought after the end of an episode, I think to myself, "Isn't there something more fun you could be doing besides thinking about AMC?" And is something--many somethings! Like...ironing. Painting my nails and immediately taking the nail polish off to do it again, in a different color. Writing my signature on a legal pad, over and over. Counting how many times per half hour a commercial for (the seemingly vile, and we all know that I have few to no standards when it comes to trash TV) Pretty Wild airs. Watching C-SPAN.

The point is that this show is so boring that it makes commentary impossible. I mean, not ALL of it is boring, and what isn't is so poorly written and implausible (and silly! What's with Janet's 1960s nurse get-up?) that I could probably talk lots and lots about it, and, sure, I'd love to mention that the one storyline I have been wholeheartedly enjoying (David and Greenlee) is being tainted by far, far too much Ryan (and yes, when I say "far, far too much" I obviously mean "any, at all, ever. PS: Write him off the show") but then I'd type Marissa or Natalia's names, and any righteous irritation I had would just evaporate on account of the boring.

If you are one of the (very) few people still watching: what are your tips for staying awake for an entire episode and having enough energy after it ends to crack jokes at its expense? Coffee? Illegal narcotics? Obsessively watching the facial expressions of extras in the background in hopes of something hilarious? I welcome any and all advice.


I find I can stay awake during any episode that I fast forward through in five minutes. Unhelpful, I know, but that's all I got.

I ease the pain by writing some fanfic in which people make fun of Ryan all day long. Even Emma. Too much?

I watch Comedy Central while AMC airs on ABC. It's the only way I can stay awake during the show. Then I just catch David & Greenlee clips online. They usually only have about 10 minutes...so it doesn't take long & I can keep from yawning.

You just give it up. As soon as I saw moronic "Cosmetics Exec's" Hanging off a stripper pole, I knew my TV Viewing had reached an All Time Low. After 25 years, I stopped watching cold turkey- - It wasn't even hard.

I knew David Canary's exit was coming up, and tho I was tempted to tune in, I couldn't do it. Just couldn't. I knew there would be a few Cameron Matheson Moments and I just like myself too much.

I can't tell you how brave I think you are for still watching......its a sad thing isn't it?? I loved Janet in a weird kind of way but I didn't come back for her either because I knew it too would be all about Ryan and GL or they would completely mess up what i loved about Janet. Sooo really I got no advice for ya either....SORRY!! Fronsie should be strung up and filleted for what he has done to this show!!

Mallory, I'm afraid I gave it up entirely when my wonderful Zach & Kendall left PV. I tried to watch for JM's memorial & DC's last episode, but even those left me sorely lacking. I can't stay with it- I tried to check in on JFAP when she came back & it's not the same as before- they've done something with our Janet! They couldn't even get that right! No- I don't waste my time on it now- unfortunately, it seems tiic are satisfied with the status quo.

I stopped watching when Zach and Kendall left the show. I tuned back in when they came back and I hate to say it but I couldn't take drivel that came out of greenlee's mouth I had to FF a lot of it. And then they totally ruin it by bringing ryan in and sending Kendall to see him...The only ZEN we got was the 2 0f them not as happy as they were when they left on their adventure which is total CRAP...
I watched AMC for over 30 years and had no trouble walking away from it. frons did something I never thought anyone could do,, he made me turn off my TIVO from noon to 1pm.......

Sorry Mallory, I got nothing for you. I might catch an epi once or twice a month...and generally that is when I am laying in bed and need help falling asleep. I do believe this column is a good example of the problem AMC has at the moment...viewership apathy. No passion about the show...not even any passion around hoping it can be turned around.

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