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« This May Be Even More Embarrassing Than Having Starred on Passions | Main | Tears, Fears and A Hilarious Silver Lining »

May 08, 2010

Am I Only Dreaming?

After years of fawning and gushing, and using the space between his first and last names as an excuse to let out a swooning sigh, it finally happened: I had a dream about Peter Bergman.

Regrettably, dreams provide very little exposition, so I have no idea what the circumstances of our relationship or friendship was, but in the dream, I was drinking tea, and we were both doing a crossword puzzle--in the future, if I ever try to make it seem like I am not a hopeless, ridiculous nerd, please throw this anecdote, in which I literally dream about doing crosswords, in my face to bring me back to reality and make me feel shame--and he was telling a story about something and even in my dream, I did the overlaugh that I would no doubt do if I ever met him in person.

Then my alarm went off. And when I turned my television on, it was still set on the Hallmark channel (Golden Girls, you guys! Not one of their feel-good movies. I like my made-for-TV movies to be poorly written trash, not, like, heart-warming or whatever. Oh, and Betty White hosts SNL tomorrow, which really has nothing to do with the topic at hand, but it is something that we all need to know and flail over), but it was so early in the morning that infomercials were on, and there happened to be an exercise infomercial with Cameron Mathison and Susan Lucci, and on the heels of my Peter Bergman dream, I had no idea what was going on and thought I was still sleeping, and I was incredibly confused and disoriented until I finished my coffee.

That feeling of being completely discombobulated came back in full force after I read Nelson Branco's interview with Hogan Sheffer and Maria Arena Bell, which is filled with enough delusion and nuggets of crazy that it could probably get one or both of them sent to a home in some states.

TVGuide.ca: Congratulations on all your casting coups! From David Hasselhoff and Marcy Rylan, to Eden Riegel, you guys have been very busy on the casting front. Would you like to tease us about your recent addition, Emmy winner Jeff Branson and film diva Sean Young?
Maria Arena Bell: We’re thrilled to have Jeff Branson on our show. We’re fortunate to have him in a short-term arc. He’ll air primarily over the summer in what I think will be a breakout role for him. I’d like to keep his story under wraps for now. But I can say Jeff will be very pivotal in the coming months.

Maybe it's me being once bitten, twice shy, but as soon as I hear someone say that they'd like to keep a new actor's story under wraps, all I can do is picture them scrambling furiously to write a story before the actor is due on set.

Also, I love the condescension there. "A breakout role" for the Emmy winning actor.

TVG: The Y&Rfans who post online are extremely livid with the show. Would you like to address their discontent with your writing team, especially your controversial decision to include not one but two doppelganger storylines?
MAB:. [...] It gave Tracey Bregman an opportunity to stretch herself as an actress and show a different side, a darker side, in this dual role. It’s a very short arc. But what it gives the audience is a tour-de-force performance from Tracey. You’ll see a very fun explosion this week. Tracey shouldn’t just win an Emmy Award for this portrayal, she should win an Oscar! You’ll see!

An Oscar. I just...you guys can read this, too, right? Because if you can, it means that it's not a hallucination and that she said that for realsies.

MAB: As for viewer dissatisfaction, I want to say I do visit the message boards. I do listen to our fans and critics. Sometimes when you’re watching a storyline unfold, you don’t know where it’s going and you get understandably frustrated. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It means people are watching and talking about our show. I’d be more concerned if fans weren’t talking about our show! A perfect example of that is the Adam Newman storyline. Everyone complained about Adam getting away with all his evildoings, yet [we surged almost 300,000 viewers in the ratings the week he was murdered — which proved at the end of the day that the audience really loved the story]. We always ensure there is a great payoff in all of our stories.

Does Bob Guza teach a course about how to be media savvy? If he did, Maria Arena Bell obviously enrolled and got a J+ (it's like an A+, but named for Jason Morgan, obviously), thanks to her keen ability to, in one breath, insult her viewers ("You guys don't know where the story is going and you get confused, and scared. And it makes you angry! And then you simple-minded angry people go online and complain!") and then brush all criticism off by saying that all press is good press, a statement that I'm pretty sure only she and Lindsay Lohan still agree with and when Lindsay Lohan is the only person high-fiving your insight, there is nothing left to say.

MAB: Just trust us.

No. Shan't.

There is much more at the source, and all of it will lead to you make the same confused and irritated face as the boys of Glee.

More on the fallout from the Sarah "story" to come later this weekend!

Comments

"...what it gives the audience is a tour-de-force performance from Tracey."

Um, I think somebody needs to look up the definition of tour-de-force -- and she might want to check out the meaning of pacing and cohesive character driven storytelling while she's at it.

This week was...what 's the word I'm looking for? Abysmal? No, that's not quite it. Jaw droppingly god-awful? Mmmmm...getting warmer. Just plain awfully awful in the most awful way that awful can be? DING DING DING!

From Phyllis's closet which could suddenly house a band of Lithuanian gypsies (and which for Monday's episode featured a new door that opened inward instead of out); to Katherine and Old Boy donning their infra-red goggles and going all CSI:Genoa City in the search for Jana; to Patty dying her hair, drugging Emily, getting her body out of the padded cell and down to the morgue UNSEEN, and then changing clothes and taking her rightful place back in the padded cell all in the space of 15 minutes, this week has been like a SOAPDISH parody of a parody of a soap opera.

(And please don't EVEN get me started on that film noir wannabe Friday episode with the random part-time Adam narration to let us stoopid viewers know Adam was a real crafty guy and the re-shot flashbacks of The Moustache disposing of "Adam's" body minus Nikki this time topped off with the inexplicableness that is Sharon Case's hair -- I'm just not strong enough...)

I think the funniest part of that entire interview was when Branco said he thought the Y&R writing team should WIN AN EMMY. For what? Best crap?

BTW, I think the part that makes us "understandably frustrated," Miz Bell, is that we DO know where the storylines are going.

Yeah, and if their ratings were so high the week of Adam's murder it is probably because everyone was hoping that would be the end of the bad storytelling. For the past few years this show has been like a bad joke that gets worse every time it is told.

I started watching Y&R less than a year ago and I've already quit. I thought I was starting to watch the best soap on the air and it was just as crappy as OLTL which I have also stopped watching. That interview was one of the worst I've read. Bell and Hogan have no idea what their viewers want to see...if they did, they wouldn't be producing this $h!t.

I'm still with AMC and GH, but very close to quitting the soaps all together.

I finally watched last weeks episode of Glee last night and when I saw the guys make those faces I laughed and was like "I already saw that!"

I saw part of the Adam narration and immediately thought, "Desperate Housewives rip-off."

The show is just so terrible these days; if it's still the top rated soap, I'd be very surprised.

I'm still surprised and disappointed that nobody else will say this: Tracy Bregman is a HORRIBLE ACTRESS!!!!
Can't any of you hear her fake hyperventilating when Lauren's upset??

Run Jeff Run!!!!

(ok sorry but you were beggging for that with the Glee gif!)

I've yet to figure out what the point of that show was that Adam narrated. Clearly, even "dead" he still has that woe is me attitude, and how exactly do dead men narrate shows? Sorry. I had no sympathy for him before he supposedly died and I have none for him now. He's just a whiny spoiled entitled brat. Or dead brat, whichever the case may be.

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Sometimes I fell asleep while I'm watching TV, so it's really strange because there comes a point when you are not all asleep but you feel you're eyes are closed and somehow dreaming.. or not dreaming... TV and dream become one same mixture and get all confused...

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