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« I Think I'm About To Become a 'Shipper | Main | Soap Blog Coalition »

May 05, 2010

The Plot Thins...

I remember one of the most heartbreaking moments of my sixth grade year was when my friend from down the street stopped by to tell me that she wanted us to stop wearing the corresponding halves of our "Best Friends" necklaces.  She'd gotten pretty close with a girl in her class and was no longer confident about who was her best friend and who was her, you know, second best friend.  I cried for an hour.  Clearly that was a far less traumatic experience than whatever Corresponding-Halves-Necklaces incident in the life of one of the One Life to Live writers.  Clearly someone thinks that such things can have serious, lasting resonance. 


But searching for your birth parents based on one half of a necklace that was left with you as an infant and is the only remaining clue to your parentage is... well, it's a pretty lame story unless it's set to music and there's a singing, dancing billionaire who tries to adopt you and introduces you to the president.  (Come to think of it, couldn't Langston have written about that for her not-even-laughable high school musical, instead of the rapist ex-con and his explosive family relationships?  They could've put Rex in an adorable red dress with a white sash with a red curly wig.)

On the bright (?) side, boy is this family starting to resemble one another:



It was great to see Roxy today after a while, the only character in that "storyline" I care to hear from, but I'd love to be spared seeing her only storyline forcing her to be a cheerleader for the unholy and obviously inevitable reunion of Rex and Gigi.

Elsewhere in Llanview, we are perhaps supposed to feel sorry for this man:


My god he's gross.  There's no way we're supposed to feel for him, right?  He was ultra-douchey before Marty went down the stairs, he was ultra-douchey after Marty went down the stairs, he was ultra-douchey when he was accused of sending Marty down the stairs, he was ultra-douchey while on death's door in a hospital bed, and he has continued to be ultra-douchey during his "recovery."  So what's with all the violin music during his scenes with Dani?  I hope those violins are being played for her, to ask us to sympathize with her for being stuck with a bio-dad who likes raping the same woman every 18 years or so and who is in some sort of warped competition for the affections of his daughter with her boyfriend/babydaddy.  And who apparently demands that people get to know him for "who he is" instead of "what he does."  Come again?  Ugh.  Obviously Hannah's lying, obviously he didn't push Marty down the stairs, but I couldn't possibly care less.  I've never rooted for Cole as hard as I did that day in the gym (I enjoy "bad boy" Cole).  There's a part of me that's relieved -- clearly they're just letting Todd be the dark individual that he is, the antagonist!  But then the violins start, and the false accusations, and... what do they want from us?!  (I am clearly unable to give them whatever that is.)

It's no secret to any of you who read my OLTL posts here that I am a huge fan of Kassie de Paiva so this will come as no surprise, but she was today's great breath of very necessary fresh air.  I've long thought she and Florencia Lozano have some of the best chemistry on the show -- it's clear they love to work with each other, and I have to admit I'm loving that they're in each other's orbits now in more of a frenemy sense.  I am spoiler-free, so I have no idea if tomorrow's episode will bring a huge smackdown from Tea in reaction to Blair having, you know, read through her personal medical file and brought it home with her (oh, Blair), but I kind of love the potential of this being something between them (as long as Eli's focus remains adorably on Blair).  For now.  As long as it doesn't involve Todd. (Tea and her tumor should look out, though -- Dr. Greg does know the difference between a brain and a foot, but he thinks that's advanced medical knowledge.)

I cannot address the Mean Girl Jessica storyline.  I cannot.  It makes my veins swell.  There are adult human beings telling this thirty-year-old woman that it's healthy for her to go to a senior fucking prom.  With a man who is mentally a grownup.  Who also thinks it's a good idea.  There is nothing to say about it, it gives it too much credence.  Instead, I'm just going to do this:


There.  I feel better now.

Destiny out!


Shirtless Mark Lawson makes us ALL feel better.

I don't care about Little Orphan Rexie (though the thought of JPL singing "It's A Hard-Knock Life" in a red curly wig makes me giddy), especially since the anvils that Bo is somehow his father are flying so thick and fast I can barely see the screen, but I must admit... I kinda liked the scenes today? I thought it was sweet how Rex and Gigi insisted that biology had nothing to do with it, Roxy was Shane's grandma. JPL actually kept his tics under control, too, which is always a relief. The upcoming "Do have the other half of this golden amulet?" (/Maria Bamford) stuff? Yeah, I doubt it'll be as cute.

BTW, though, Louise, you and I are totally on the same wavelength, because I was musing how well-casted the kid who plays Shane is. He really looks like JPL's son. I like Shane, though. Despite having the two biggest twits in the world for parents, somehow he manages to, most of the time, be the most mature and intelligent of the trio. Not that that's hard. Somehow the stupid must have canceled-out.

I've said forever that Blair and Tea should have ditched Todd and went for each other. I'm a gay man, and even I think that would be hot. They have tons more chemistry together than either has with Todd. Why do I have the feeling, though, that Dani is going to end up at Blair's House of Raising Todd's Kids? Really, Blair and Mac Scorpio should start a support group for people who raise other people's kids (and do it ten times better than the parents would).

Speaking of Port Charles, did anyone else wistfully hope for a crossover where Tea went to Patrick for a second opinion? I don't even watch GH anymore, but that still would have kinda ruled. And I'm not even a particular Patrick fan, but calling Greg the best neurosurgeon in the country? I think some would beg to differ! At least Patrick knows a foot from a brain!

Even if I didn't love your posts, I'd look forward to them for the Brody shots.

I covet the robe Blair was wearing today. I think it's rather laughable that Ron seems to be using Blair as a means of telling us all that Tea is so precious and will be missed when her brain tumor eats her head. I still think it's a big psyche out and the bitch will survive.

OR, it will end up with Tea bequeathing Dani to Blair and that will put Todd right back into her living room. Not that I mind Blair and Eli dealing with issues, I just don't want Todd to win. Anything. Which is quite a switch from days of yore.

Blair and Eli were beautiful today. I love watching them react to each other in such real ways.

If Rex's billionaire winds up being Bo (which is likely probably) I'm going to SCREAM.

Todd is wearing the Cone of Shame. Good.

Bourgeois Nerd, I kind of agree about those Gigi/Rex/Shane scenes today -- I geared up to be very upset when Roxy overheard them ("does that mean Roxy's not my Grandma anymore?") but then they fixed it nicely, and played it more for sentimental humor than full-on schmaltz or angst, which definitely works better with that gang.

I will be devastated if Rex ends up Bo's son. Who would the mother be? I know timing means little to them but... Didi? Sarah? I wonder. I just hope it doesn't happen.

Dandesun, maybe I'm being too nice or too much of a Blair fan or something, but I honestly saw Blair's tears over Tea today as entirely a comment on what kind of amazing person Blair is, not Tea. It didn't bother me at all -- it seemed perfectly in character for her heart to break for someone else's personal tragedy, even though that person has never been human to her. Even though she's flawed and a schemer, she's always had an alarmingly deep well of empathy in the higher-stakes moments. What can I say? I bought it hook, line, and sinker! (And yes, Blair and Eli were fantastic!)

I'm a big Blair fan also. I love how she empathized with Tea's situation. She was fantastic and moving, and I love her chemistry with Tea.

Now Tea and Blair would be a couple I could totally get behind! *wink* Blair gets her heart broken by Eli, but takes in Tea and Dani, and they slowly fall in love, as Tea grows weaker. Hey, it worked for Otalia, and I think it could work for these two. Dorian going insane over the couple. I can see it now. And then Tea gets her brain tumor fixed miraculously (its a soap) and they have to deal with all these feelings that developed.

(Okay, so I got carried away. What's a gay woman to do?)

And your take on "bad boy" Cole. I was there with you cheering. I've been watching Todd push and shove and beat Cole up with his freak attachment to his "little girl" and wondered when the heck Cole would finally snap. I mean, the guy raped his mom twice - at least let him get in a few hits.

I also think its funny that John did the same exact thing to Todd and got away with a slap on the hand.

But Todd - I am so over him. I can't stand that they think we are supposed to feel sorry for him. The guy really is a supreme douche, and loved what you had to say about him. You were spot on - spot on, Louise.

I'm rooting for Hannah (despite knowing she's lying) and hope Todd is playing everyone. That would be so unexpected and worth it.

Everything you wrote about Jess, ditto. What the hell are the people in this town thinking?

Anyway, another great post by you. And Brody was a great finishing touch.

Yay for shirtless Brody!! Here's hoping the disaster of a Jess storyline is over soon. Did you see the promo for OLTL? It has Brody in his dress whites. I'm so going to be drooling then, even more than I do now.

I look forward to the inevitable post that will show us Brody in his dress whites. We are going to get that, right?

I think Blair's response to Tea's condition says a lot about Blair. Again, it's not the first time she's wept over someone she hated with everything in her. She's done it for Luna and Asa and considering the things she did to both of them it's not far off from this response regarding Tea. I just think it was a wee bit too much, too soon.

I expected it to come after their inevitable bonding and painting of toenails. Maybe Blair was PMSing and that's why she SO emotional about it.

Plus, I want more of Blair and Eli talking about them. Or Eli meeting the kids which somehow still hasn't happened. Jack and Elijah need to officially meet. So do Starr and Elijah. And where has Sam disappeared to anyway?

No one since the late '90s seems to know how to write Todd. It seems like instead of a genuine anti-hero he's a villain that's occasionally presented as a straightforward protagonist, if that makes any sense. Maybe the writers of OLTL should take notes from how the writers of DAYS handle E.J. DiMera.

Sigh...agree with everything you said. Thanks for the Mark Lawson pic though, it makes everything feel better.

"I hope those violins are being played for her, to ask us to sympathize with her for being stuck with a bio-dad who likes raping the same woman every 18 years or so..."

It's not a funny subject at all, but the way you wrote it, Louise...I was howling.

And, Bourgeois Nerd, I laughed even harder at this:

"Really, Blair and Mac Scorpio should start a support group for people who raise other people's kids (and do it ten times better than the parents would)."

Thanks to both of you for the belly laughs!

This is one of the best blogs what i have ever read, it is impressed me very much, thank you for taking your time to sharing this, i want to share it with my friend, they must also love your words, thank you!

I think OLTL was going to let FL go but with all of the flack the show is catching about firing the actors that play Kyle, Rachel, Schuyler and Fish, they may want to give Tea a new lease on life. I thought all alone Dani was brought on in case KA decides to go to college full time..

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