The Plot Thins...
I remember one of the most heartbreaking moments of my sixth grade year was when my friend from down the street stopped by to tell me that she wanted us to stop wearing the corresponding halves of our "Best Friends" necklaces. She'd gotten pretty close with a girl in her class and was no longer confident about who was her best friend and who was her, you know, second best friend. I cried for an hour. Clearly that was a far less traumatic experience than whatever Corresponding-Halves-Necklaces incident in the life of one of the One Life to Live writers. Clearly someone thinks that such things can have serious, lasting resonance.
But searching for your birth parents based on one half of a necklace that was left with you as an infant and is the only remaining clue to your parentage is... well, it's a pretty lame story unless it's set to music and there's a singing, dancing billionaire who tries to adopt you and introduces you to the president. (Come to think of it, couldn't Langston have written about that for her not-even-laughable high school musical, instead of the rapist ex-con and his explosive family relationships? They could've put Rex in an adorable red dress with a white sash with a red curly wig.)
On the bright (?) side, boy is this family starting to resemble one another:
Elsewhere in Llanview, we are perhaps supposed to feel sorry for this man:
My god he's gross. There's no way we're supposed to feel for him, right? He was ultra-douchey before Marty went down the stairs, he was ultra-douchey after Marty went down the stairs, he was ultra-douchey when he was accused of sending Marty down the stairs, he was ultra-douchey while on death's door in a hospital bed, and he has continued to be ultra-douchey during his "recovery." So what's with all the violin music during his scenes with Dani? I hope those violins are being played for her, to ask us to sympathize with her for being stuck with a bio-dad who likes raping the same woman every 18 years or so and who is in some sort of warped competition for the affections of his daughter with her boyfriend/babydaddy. And who apparently demands that people get to know him for "who he is" instead of "what he does." Come again? Ugh. Obviously Hannah's lying, obviously he didn't push Marty down the stairs, but I couldn't possibly care less. I've never rooted for Cole as hard as I did that day in the gym (I enjoy "bad boy" Cole). There's a part of me that's relieved -- clearly they're just letting Todd be the dark individual that he is, the antagonist! But then the violins start, and the false accusations, and... what do they want from us?! (I am clearly unable to give them whatever that is.)
It's no secret to any of you who read my OLTL posts here that I am a huge fan of Kassie de Paiva so this will come as no surprise, but she was today's great breath of very necessary fresh air. I've long thought she and Florencia Lozano have some of the best chemistry on the show -- it's clear they love to work with each other, and I have to admit I'm loving that they're in each other's orbits now in more of a frenemy sense. I am spoiler-free, so I have no idea if tomorrow's episode will bring a huge smackdown from Tea in reaction to Blair having, you know, read through her personal medical file and brought it home with her (oh, Blair), but I kind of love the potential of this being something between them (as long as Eli's focus remains adorably on Blair). For now. As long as it doesn't involve Todd. (Tea and her tumor should look out, though -- Dr. Greg does know the difference between a brain and a foot, but he thinks that's advanced medical knowledge.)
I cannot address the Mean Girl Jessica storyline. I cannot. It makes my veins swell. There are adult human beings telling this thirty-year-old woman that it's healthy for her to go to a senior fucking prom. With a man who is mentally a grownup. Who also thinks it's a good idea. There is nothing to say about it, it gives it too much credence. Instead, I'm just going to do this:
There. I feel better now.