A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Remote Control
It was really sad for the last couple of weeks when OLTL wasn't airing at its regular time, or anywhere else for that matter. Every day I'd come home and turn on the TV and the DVR would tell me it recorded my soap, but I pressed play and every time, every time they'd even have the OLTL opening credits, but it wasn't OLTL. Don't get me wrong, there were a couple of familiar characters I'd been watching for years, characters like Matthew and Starr and I think even a little Viki thrown in for good measure, so I had no choice but to assume that it was clearly a new spin-off of my show.
Yesterday they even gave me a little bit of Blair and Eli, but they seemed to be dropping some hints that Eli was involved in this whole Ford attempted-murder mystery in some sort of untoward way, and I just knew that wasn't possible. So it was still the spin-off.
Today, on the other hand, they seem to have merged the old show and this mysterious new teen spin-off version of OLTL because... I mean there was Dorian! And Blair! And Bo! And Nora! And David Vickers! With his hooker played by that chick who used to play Greenlee on that other show!
Speaking of other shows, I need to have a few things broken down for me. Starr and Random New Hot Teen Guy (they keep saying he's "James," so okay, I'll bite) went into some roadside diner to get some food (thankfully even after all their time on the run, sleeping in cars, she was in perfect makeup and her hair was well-styled -- I mean imagine the horror if on Tuesday she'd ended the show without perfectly coiffed hair for that embarrassing cell phone lullaby!) and in the background they were playing that grating "Just You & Me" song. You know, the song they use as the theme song on that show that comes on after this to celebrate the prison phone sex and awkward love scenes between their staple insanely-hot chick and that weird puffy emotionless hero-slash-assassin dude? Well, they played it for this couple:
Yeah, I'm saying "couple" already, 'cause duh. I don't know if they'll go there beyond today's kissyface, but they're clearly dangling it, just in case people might be bored of Starr and Cole (good call?) or just in case they're trying to give them a new roadblock so everyone will start rooting for them again.
So I did some soap-nerd googling and found a few sources that insisted said "Just You & Me" song was written especially for General Hospital by Robert Hartry and Rie Sinclair. Oh and here are the lyrics:
Or am I foolishly wasting my time
Try so hard to quiet my expensive dreams
Before they take me out, leave me wondering
Baby, it's just You & Me, we got a thing they cant shake
Maybe, it's a little hard sometimes to take
But I'll tell you something, its a life worth living
Just so you know, I wouldn't give it up, no.
Is it all a market war in this economy
Filling up headlines with our fantasy
System fails hard & we fall apart sometimes
But then you pull me back with your quiet smile
Well, okay. That makes no sense on either show. ("A market war in this economy"??) But then I did some further soap-nerd googling and learned that it was sometimes used for underscoring... Cristian and Evangeline?
I am really confused. I am also confused that we keep being told Ford is such a bastard because of what he did to Langston. Correct me if I'm wrong, but who was the real victim in the Ford/PizzaGirl/Langston/Markko situation? It was Langston? Someone needs to explain that to me after they explain to me what the song means and why the eff they'd throw Eli under the bus, please.
Is there any chance that the return of Nora and Bo means a little more balance with the grownups? Any chance that we've had a couple days in a row of Blair so that means more Blair and Eli? Any chance that Hannah 'fessing up to some truths today means we get to keep Meghann Fahy a little longer than expected? I am asking too much, I'm sure.
To be fair, today we were given the gift of Dorian in a Fourth of July... you guessed it, hat!
That makes any episode at least a little bit better. After a slew of horrendously bad episodes. Bless Dorian and her hats.
Now I'm going to indulge myself by doing my here-and-there comments on OLTL-related activity because, lo and behold, some of you spectacular people have told me you like hearing about it!
I was walking home the other day and passed Kassie de Paiva (Blair) on the street. She was going for a run and her awesome new haircut looked extra good with the ends of the layers all sweaty (I mean glowy!), and I definitely am not allowed to resent her for looking so smokin' in her bikini on the show yesterday and today. Because she does work for it! And is still a goddess.
That's all I got.