Adults Behaving Badly and Failed Identity Switches
Elijah Clarke really needs to have a chat with his cell phone carrier. First I wondered how, had he not known that his brother (?) Ross was still alive before Tea told him, he would still have a current phone number for him that had a working voicemail.
Of course then after announcing to Ross's voicemail that Todd and Tea had told him he was alive, Eli let out an adorable fake gasp, so I'm assuming he has known all along and has been in contact with him the whole time. So okay, Ross isn't the worst at the whole faking-his-death-to-skirt-the-law thing, since one might typically change one's phone number when one is trying to avoid public knowledge of his continued breathing. But does this mean Eli and Ross have been in cahoots on all the evil dastardliness since the beginning, ergo meaning once Billy Warlock shows up, we'll lose both him and Matt Walton relatively soon since mustache-twirling villians are typically not long for our show? I hope not. I hope we keep them.
So while I'm going to give Ross the benefit of the doubt that he doesn't have the same phone number he used to before he was on the run, apparently I cannot give Eli the same benefit of the doubt.
The dude has changed his entire identity, but he still has the same freakin' cell phone number he had on his business cards from when he was Bennett Thompson?? Damn, he really is an evil mastermind! Also, since Bennett Thompson was also an attorney, does this mean he sat twice for the bar exam -- once as Bennett and once as Eli? Or did he just forge some documents for the second go-round? And are we to assume that he loves practicing law so much that he didn't bother to switch careers when he switched identities?
Speaking of switched identities, down in Silver Spring, Maryland, Evangeline's identity has been switched with a pair of legs and a heart monitor. While David Fumero (Cristian) wins this week's Brittany Underwood Crying With No Tears Award, you have to give the poor man credit for having to break down at the bedside of some extra and a prop machine while pretending she's a character he hasn't seen in three years.
He's a good sport, he is. (Since Tika Sumpter is about to go off-contract and David Fumero is not, does this mean the marriage won't happen? Or it will but she'll just show up on his arm for special occasions? Or is she going "off-contract" the way Scott Evans [Fish] did a few months ago... as in, they say she'll still be around from time to time, but we'll never see her again? So many questions!)
At least there's one thing to celebrate right now. One crapfest has come to an end! You know the one...
And no, I don't just mean that this two-weeks-long day is coming to an end and therefore Dorian might finally remove that headband.
I mean this storyline that involves two of the more dignified folks in town throwing themselves at people they're not interested in so that they can further some sort of matchmaking scheme. Because they all of a sudden wanted to reunite Dorian and a character who's obviously only visiting the show temporarily. I have to give Erika Slezak credit, though, because Viki's facial expressions throughout this whole mini-plot have been priceless and almost made the whole thing worth sitting through... almost. But as Dorian put it, the scheme was pure "juvenalia" and wildly out of character for the people involved, who I hope get moved along to bigger and better storyline, pronto. I did learn something today, though -- I was confused when Dorian referred to Viki and David in bed together as a "spectre." It was an apparition? Weird. But upon further investigation, I learn that she used the less common definition of the word quite well: "some object or source of terror or dread." I'll say. Well done, Mayor!
I'm off to spend some more time processing the latest casting news. Destiny out!