Adventures in Ill Logic
So here's the thing. I enjoy Melissa Archer (Natalie). I do. Any time I start to worry about her a bit, she steps up her game -- she absolutely broke my heart the way she played her anguish after Jared's death and I was honestly a bit surprised she didn't get an Emmy nomination. The bad news is that I think her worst acting comes when Natalie is having to keep secrets and convince people that everything is totally fine, and unfortunately this makes up about 90% of Natalie's storylines.
Now if she's making a conscious choice that Natalie is the worst liar in the history of ever, then more power to her because she's succeeding. Flying colors. Unfortunately the text doesn't really lend itself to that -- what we are being asked to see right now is that most people in her life are buying her cover stories (twinsies sympathy morning sickness!) but only the people (the all-knowing John McBain) who know her the best, inside and out, are keen enough to be able to tell there's something wrong. Wow! John and Rex are so perceptive to notice all that eye-darting and stammering and face crinkling and huffing and puffing! Brilliant detectives, I say!
That said, this storyline has some good things going for it. Both Buchanan twins being pregnant at the same time (quite possibly with identical due dates). Both "Who's the Daddy" situations, but only one (Natalie) realizes that while the other (Jess) only thinks she's in the clear. The possibility that Brody is babydaddy to both. It's good soapy stuff despite the missteps (who trained these doctors to respond to pregnant woman telling them the pregnancy's unplanned with, "Whatevs! Celebrate! It's awesome, you'll be super-excited about being a mommy soon enough!"...I'm pretty sure there are rules about that), and I'm even appreciating this new friendship between Natalie and Gigi, with Gigi encouraging Natalie to skip the secret martyr approach and actually decide what she wants. I'm wondering how they're going to screw it up. Did Evil Eli secretly inseminate them both? I'm assuming that's what we'll soon learn.
Speaking of one potential babydaddy, I have no idea if or why anyone cares about the Ford/Salinger family drama. And Langston just keeps sinking further and further with all of her inexplicable indignation. I honestly loathe her at this point, and I'm not really sure I'm supposed to. She knows Ford is sleazy, she knows he's slept around. Yet she was offended he got tested for STDs? Shouldn't she think, "Oh hey, good idea, after all I was sleeping with two guys at once and it turns out one of them also had multiple partners, maybe I should go in for a routine screening myself!" What is wrong with her? It is really amazing how quickly she's absolved herself of responsibility in all this and how she refers to prom night as a "breakup" between her and Ford. Wasn't prom night the night Markko and Langston broke up? I have bad news for Langston about what a "breakup" is and what constitutes a committed relationship. Neither term applies to her situation with Ford. And then when Ford pretended he'd slept with someone else recently, she was shocked? The nerve of him to be consistent! And this meant that he was indeed inhuman? Why? He's sleazy. She knew that. What does that have to do with his family problems? So now he's not sincerely affected by his family situations because he sleeps around, just like Langston already knew he did?
"That bastard! How dare he have casual sex!"
And look, don't get me wrong, I'm not sympathizing with Ford about any of his problems because I just don't care. I like him as a supporting character and one that's a total sleazebag. I even believe that he loves his brother and resents his mother and that he's not the worst person who ever lived (I know there's an ongoing debate about whether or not what happened between him and Jessica can be considered rape, and perhaps I should duck for saying this but I don't think it was by any definition of the word -- at worst, he just took advantage of a seventeen-year-old, which he'd already been doing for months. Slimey asshole? Yup. Rapist? Not if the show told me over and over that she wasn't sick, she was just missing memories -- hell, if Brody's wooing had been successful, it might've ended the same way.). But I just don't care about him. And if they want to take him down the redemption-through-the-love-of-a-woman path, they need to find a woman. A woman. Not a girl. Someone who actually challenges him and sees through his bullshit and calls him out. It starts with an adversarial relationship but eventually... well, you guys know what I mean. It's a soap standard. And besides, Langston sucks. How could her love redeem anyone? Though at this point, if they wanted to get together and then just move far, far away from Llanview and be sucky together off our screens, I'd jump at the chance.