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« The Very Definition of Damning With Faint Praise | Main | Adventures in Ill Logic »

July 29, 2010

All My Indifferent Sighs

I find it perplexing that I can go on, at length, about the intricate plots of books that I read as a child (not even plots of important books that changed my life, like Anne of Green Gables or To Kill A Mockingbird, but, like...The Babysitters Club #3--The Truth About Stacey, where Stacey dealt with the fallout of having diabetes and the BSC dealt with a rival babysitting group of eighth graders who, it turned out, were bad girls , and it all worked out fine in the end, because the bad babysitters were caught smoking and Stacey learned to cope with her illness and trust in her friends. Oh my god, when I type it out like that, I think there may actually be something wrong with me), but if you were to ask me about today's episode of All My Children (and I don't know why you would, because I'm certain that you don't really care and, in fact, have probably stopped watching AMC all together and will tune in, maybe, out of morbid fascination when Kendall and Zach return, and if--fingers crossed--David Canary makes an appearance), I would not be able to tell you a single thing.

"Well, I think Ryan was on, and he was probably terrible, and there were other people, doing...things. In a manner that people often exhibit while doing things."

This show is hugely uninteresting, is the point I am trying to make.

Divider

I have begged and pleaded for Angie and Jesse to get a major story. And they have! And Debbi Morgan is acting her heart out, doing some of her best work ever. So that's good!

Except for how dull it is. Please don't ask me how it's possible to make a story about someone going blind and then being pregnant (I have just accepted that there is no such thing as menopause as soaps. And this pregnancy is actually much easier to believe than some older soap pregnancies, since Debbi Morgan only looks a few years older than me), and learning that, because of the pregnancy, she has to stop taking the medication she's been using to combat the blindness dull. I mean, there are like seven levels of soap in that sentence and yet, AMC has made it completely boring.

Although I do admit that Jesse's overwhelmed reaction to the news, complete with getting verklempt, was adorable.

Amanda: Gotta be careful about turning down wine, Angie, or people are going to start thinking you're pregnant.
Jesse, after a full minute of awkward silence: Wait a minute, are--a baby? A baby? Are you?

Cuuuuute! And I feel that Debbi Morgan will be all kinds of amazing and heartbreaking while she makes her horrible choice, and Darnell WIlliams will be similarly great when Jesse is clued in, but...all I can say is B-O-R-I-N-G.

Assorted AMC thoughts follow.

  • Jesse seems more obsessed with David than Franco seems with Jason Morgan.
  • It completely snuck up on me, but I seriously enjoy Christina Bennett Lind as Bianca. This may be because I have a serious case of hair envy (it is so shiny and straight, without being flat or greasy. Gorgeous!), but it definitely helps that she stopped speaking in an overly theatrical tone.
  • Her call home to Reese and the allusions to trouble in crazyawesome paradise make me wonder if they are going to break up OR if we are in for a recast Reese, and all I'm going to say is that Reese was completely worthless even when she was played by a great actress, so a recast just seems like a "HOLY JESUS, MAKE IT NOT" kind of idea.
  • David calling the mayor so that she could summon Greenlee down to the PVPD was deliciously mean. I hate the turns that this story has taken, but I will admit that it was fun to watch as Greenlee went from "terrified, but trying to contain herself" to "pissed as hell, but trying to contain herself" when she realized that she wasn't going to get arrested.

  • Mayor Blanco: Even if Chief Hubbard did come up with a case against David, I'd use my sway with the DA's office to intervene on your behalf. 
    David: Well, hopefully it will never get to that.
    Mayor Blanco: Just know that someone always has your back.
  • David even gets his own swelling, suspenseful music these days! If your character has to be assassinated, I guess getting a special soundtrack kind of makes it worth it.
  • I know that David is blackmailing Greenlee and that is pretty wretched, but when he told her to honor her marriage vows and she spat, "Even if keeping them makes me nauseous", I groaned and rolled my eyes. It seems like even this situation, effed up and awful though it may be, is like paradise compared to interacting with Ryan in any way, even a situation as benign as standing in line behind in at Starbucks, because you know he's the type of person who never has his order ready and then quizzes the barista on all sorts of drink combinations before settling on a basic drip coffee. Even hearing his name makes me slightly nauseous, which is awkward, because Ryan is a hugely popular name, so whenever you leave the house, odds are that you are going to hear someone saying it.
  •  

Comments

I don't watch AMC and haven't in probably 15 years, but any post that quotes the BSC is a-ok by me. And if there is something wrong with you, then there is something wrong with me, and let's NEVER be right!!!!

May I just say as a long time barista at Starbucks that if Ryan were to order a basic drip coffee that I would feel nothing but glee to give him an old cup of decaf as my personal revenge.

When was Reese played by a 'great actress'?

Clearly Angie's biological clock stopped ticking when Jesse "died" and started again when she saw him alive again. That's my explanation, anyway.

I don't think of BSC plots when I think about soaps these days, but I do fondly remember soap plots and characters of yesteryear. You know, when stories were interesting and shocking without being outright offensive and dumb, and when Cruz Castillo was the very model of a modern major soap hero, instead of Ryan (shudder) Lavery. Ah, the good old days...

donna, ha! All I can say to that is "Oh, snap!"

I actually do think Tamara Braun is a great actress (Days was her best work, I think), but she really exhibited zero skill on this show. So if they can take an actress that I like and make her so...god awful, what will they do to some random unknown?!

Tamara Braun was the worst Carly (and yes, I'm including Jennifer Bransford in that assessment). When I think of her all I see is Chicken Wings Carly waving her finger in the air. She was also playing Carly at the time she became Carly, the BestestMotherInTheWorldWhoLovesWithHerWholeHeart TM Guza. Dear God, I hated her.

Well I guess I'm morbidly curious then, because I did stop watching when my beloved Zendall left in April & I will only be back once they return. I doubt I can stomach it for long if they insist on putting Kendall back in Ryan the Love God's orbit again, but I will be watching for Zach & when he's gone, I'm out again.

The only storyline of interest is the JR/Marissa one and that is solely based on the chemistry between the two actors and not on anything that is being written for them.

Jess's obsession with David is dumb but not nearly as stupid as Angie not telling him about her blindness.

And Ryan is a blackhole of suck. I have not watched a single scene of his in yeras without pressing the FF button on my remote and right about now I am getting to that same point with Greenlee. What really sucks is that endall's return is going to be all about her working to get Ryan and Greenleee back together which makes no sense. What grown woman with kids and a husband has the time to devote their entire life to playing matchmaker?

I also am not surprised with the angle these writers have taken with David. As they showed repeatedly on GUIDING LIGHT they are incapable of writing any villain that is not constantly twirling a mustache and plotting actual crimes instead of personal schemes that deal with emotions.
These are the same assholes who turned Alexandra Spaulding into a drug dealer.

Oops! I meant JR/Annie not JR/Marissa...keeping Marissa around is yet another bonehead move on the part of this show.

I understand how Baby-Sitters Club plotlines can take up space in your brain. It's almost shameful how often I recognize BSC references at Go Fug Yourself. And how much I love What Claudia Wore (seriously, anyone who loves the crazy that is BSC fashion should read that blog).

"I also am not surprised with the angle these writers have taken with David. As they showed repeatedly on GUIDING LIGHT..."

Ah, I knew this feeling was familiar. Poor David/Vincent.

like paradise compared to interacting with Ryan in any way, even a situation as benign as standing in line behind in at Starbucks, because you know he's the type of person who never has his order ready and then quizzes the barista on all sorts of drink combinations before settling on a basic drip coffee.

best line ever!

You're right, Mallory! AMC is boring.

Like you, I have waited for Angie & Jesse to take center stage. But like much of what happens with Kreizman/Swajeski/AMC, BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR. The whole Angie is pregnant and blind would be far more interesting if I hadn't already seen a VERY similar storyline on GL that K&S wrote for Reva Shayne. What started with such promise on GL, quickly turned to complete and utter madness. Sadly, I expect more of the same on AMC as it relates to Angie and Jesse.

As for Ryan/Greenlee/David, I'm pretty sick of continuous efforts to suggest that Ryan is a better man than David. David is a menace, without question, but I prefer his menacing behavior over Ryan's any day. Besides, what happens when Ryan succeeds in getting Greenlee from David? What is he going to do with Madison? What ever shall he tell Emma who has once again bonded with daddy's flavor of the month?

And Annie/JR/Marissa/Scott is so repetitive that the only way that you know it is new day is their change of clothing. The same damned conversation over and over between any of these four principals is just overkill. Talk about Marissa being boring; it's their repetitive conversations that are boring! I find Annie far less entertaining and far less complex than David. I love a good villain, but Annie is a narcissist plain and simple. Big difference.

Finally, can we end the stupidity that is Damon/Colby, Liza/Tad, Jake/Amanda. Nothing about any of their story lines is even remotely interesting or engaging. Even the actors appear bored in their scenes. And while the nuBianca is one of the better recast on AMC in years, I'm still trying to figure out why nuBianca and her underage girls are living with a strange man in a museum-size house. And although I love Michael Nouri, the whole Caleb Cooney character is just another newbie IMO. Something AMC really does not need at this stage.

It's pretty sad that AMC continues to hire untalented (and uninspired) writers that believe that repetition and recycled story lines are an acceptable form of entertainment. As it stands now, it is almost as if K&S are simply cutting and pasting old scripts and shuffling/deleting characters. What a waste!

Femina

The Babysitters Club #3--The Truth About Stacey

My first BSC book ever!

What I don't like about the Angie story is the blindness caused by an infection that typically only happens after eye surgery or injury. Not only that, the blindness isn't a given, it's one possible outcome.

Damn soap writers - if they'd just do a little research now and then their storylines would be so much better!

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