All My Indifferent Sighs
I find it perplexing that I can go on, at length, about the intricate plots of books that I read as a child (not even plots of important books that changed my life, like Anne of Green Gables or To Kill A Mockingbird, but, like...The Babysitters Club #3--The Truth About Stacey, where Stacey dealt with the fallout of having diabetes and the BSC dealt with a rival babysitting group of eighth graders who, it turned out, were bad girls , and it all worked out fine in the end, because the bad babysitters were caught smoking and Stacey learned to cope with her illness and trust in her friends. Oh my god, when I type it out like that, I think there may actually be something wrong with me), but if you were to ask me about today's episode of All My Children (and I don't know why you would, because I'm certain that you don't really care and, in fact, have probably stopped watching AMC all together and will tune in, maybe, out of morbid fascination when Kendall and Zach return, and if--fingers crossed--David Canary makes an appearance), I would not be able to tell you a single thing.
"Well, I think Ryan was on, and he was probably terrible, and there were other people, doing...things. In a manner that people often exhibit while doing things."
This show is hugely uninteresting, is the point I am trying to make.
I have begged and pleaded for Angie and Jesse to get a major story. And they have! And Debbi Morgan is acting her heart out, doing some of her best work ever. So that's good!
Except for how dull it is. Please don't ask me how it's possible to make a story about someone going blind and then being pregnant (I have just accepted that there is no such thing as menopause as soaps. And this pregnancy is actually much easier to believe than some older soap pregnancies, since Debbi Morgan only looks a few years older than me), and learning that, because of the pregnancy, she has to stop taking the medication she's been using to combat the blindness dull. I mean, there are like seven levels of soap in that sentence and yet, AMC has made it completely boring.
Although I do admit that Jesse's overwhelmed reaction to the news, complete with getting verklempt, was adorable.
Amanda: Gotta be careful about turning down wine, Angie, or people are going to start thinking you're pregnant.
Jesse, after a full minute of awkward silence: Wait a minute, are--a baby? A baby? Are you?
Cuuuuute! And I feel that Debbi Morgan will be all kinds of amazing and heartbreaking while she makes her horrible choice, and Darnell WIlliams will be similarly great when Jesse is clued in, but...all I can say is B-O-R-I-N-G.
Assorted AMC thoughts follow.
- Jesse seems more obsessed with David than Franco seems with Jason Morgan.
- It completely snuck up on me, but I seriously enjoy Christina Bennett Lind as Bianca. This may be because I have a serious case of hair envy (it is so shiny and straight, without being flat or greasy. Gorgeous!), but it definitely helps that she stopped speaking in an overly theatrical tone.
- Her call home to Reese and the allusions to trouble in crazyawesome paradise make me wonder if they are going to break up OR if we are in for a recast Reese, and all I'm going to say is that Reese was completely worthless even when she was played by a great actress, so a recast just seems like a "HOLY JESUS, MAKE IT NOT" kind of idea.
- David calling the mayor so that she could summon Greenlee down to the PVPD was deliciously mean. I hate the turns that this story has taken, but I will admit that it was fun to watch as Greenlee went from "terrified, but trying to contain herself" to "pissed as hell, but trying to contain herself" when she realized that she wasn't going to get arrested.
- David even gets his own swelling, suspenseful music these days! If your character has to be assassinated, I guess getting a special soundtrack kind of makes it worth it.
- I know that David is blackmailing Greenlee and that is pretty wretched, but when he told her to honor her marriage vows and she spat, "Even if keeping them makes me nauseous", I groaned and rolled my eyes. It seems like even this situation, effed up and awful though it may be, is like paradise compared to interacting with Ryan in any way, even a situation as benign as standing in line behind in at Starbucks, because you know he's the type of person who never has his order ready and then quizzes the barista on all sorts of drink combinations before settling on a basic drip coffee. Even hearing his name makes me slightly nauseous, which is awkward, because Ryan is a hugely popular name, so whenever you leave the house, odds are that you are going to hear someone saying it.
Mayor Blanco: Even if Chief Hubbard did come up with a case against David, I'd use my sway with the DA's office to intervene on your behalf.
David: Well, hopefully it will never get to that.
Mayor Blanco: Just know that someone always has your back.