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« I'm Just Guessing Here | Main | Remember That Time, With the Thing At The Place? »

July 15, 2010

Dysfunctional, Tedious Love in the Afternoon

Since I am also a General Hospital viewer, I probably should never be nit-picky about how One Life to Live chooses to focus on their various tales of love and sex -- even if they leave a horrid taste in my mouth, I suppose I should be grateful that they're focusing on relationships at all instead of largely concentrating on dodging bullets and car bombs and mechanical monkeys and "creepy" graffiti.  Of course if I conceded that, I'd never have anything to say at all and we can't have that, can we?

Based on some of the comments here in the past, I am apparently in the minority when I say I somewhat enjoy Ford (Robert Ford, that is).  He's a womanizer, so from where I sit he's basically a dick but not a monster -- these recent efforts to give him a small dose of humanity give the character more than one note, and that's always a good thing.  However, if they are going in the direction of "redeeming" him by having him realize he really does have true feelings for Langston, they're going to need a new navigator.  Frankly it was a little refreshing to have a guy 'fess up and just say, "Nah, it was a good time, but it was just for fun."  And considering Langston was participating in her own far more hurtful lie at the time, it was poetic justice.  Can we just leave it at that?  Does he need to keep mixing with the teen crowd?  Can we have a character in his 20s interact with other characters in their 20s please?  (It's a little sad that 20-somethings look like the "vets" right now on this show.)  Point is, I can't think of anything less interesting than Ford groveling to Langston right now.  Yesterday that scene in the park almost felt like Langston was having to choose between two men, Ford and Markko, which is completely idiotic.  She made her choice.  She chose Ford, and he wasn't interested.  And now they're battling for her "honor?"  I don't think so.  Which brings me to...


Why in the world would this be happening?   She didn't want him.  She spent months lying to him and planning to break up with him because she chose someone else.  And now because that someone else doesn't want her, she's all about Markko again?  And he's into it enough that he'd participate in this little mid-park makeout session?  Why?  Anyone?  We can't possibly be expected to root for their reunion, could we?  Sure, people on soaps cheat all the time, but Langston wasn't "torn."  She wanted Ford, thought she was in love with him, and only stayed with Markko because she didn't want him to hate her.

Elsewhere, Starr and Cole had some sort of vague conversation about how they really love each other.  If this is Romance, Jr., I'd like to unsubscribe.  It was kind of like a brother and sister making up after they'd been arguing.  This couple has had their appeal over the years but at this point there is zero heat, and it really might be time to throw in the towel.  And sure, they share a child, but that child is raised mostly by her off-screen great grandmother, so I'm not sure it'd really make any sort of difference.

So Blair finally accepted Evil Eli's marriage proposal, which was probably supposed to be worrisome and ominous (in part evidenced by the ever-wise sage Jack's disapproval), but was actually adorable.  Evil Eli is even hotter than Wholesome Eli, and I am still naively holding out hope that there's some way to reverse all this nonsense anyway and not give Blair yet another Spencer Truman-like relationship.  But is it just me, or do Eli's teeth get even whiter with every evil layer that's revealed?

Never one to be outdone, Todd was "inspired" by this to propose to Tea in his usual passionate, romantic way -- sitting around in a courtroom after having attempted murder charges against him dropped.


Oo, oo, maybe they'll have a double wedding!  It'll be just darling (while Blair and Tea gaze longingly past their grooms to each other).  And in particular, since I believe Todd and Tea's last wedding (a year ago) was the last time we saw Sam, then that's fine.  Bring on the wedding.

I'm trying to care, I really am.

Destiny out.


Sam's disappearance has disturbed me for quite some time.

Here's the thing about Langston and Markko suddenly making out in the park. It's out of nowhere. Has Langston even mentioned Markko's name in the past several weeks? No! She's been staring at Ford with that 'deer in the headlights' look that, I'm assuming, means she's totally still into him.

Poor Markko.

Evil Eli and Wicked Blair could be awesome. Which is why I'm still holding out some sliver of hope that Eli isn't quite so egregiously evil as they're making him. Did you notice that even the MUSIC has turned against him? When he was telling Blair about Hannah being his client the background music was Violins of Danger! And then when he got down on his knee to propose again, we got plinky acoustic guitar that gave way to an ominous keening wail that is the musical equivalent of 'There's a Killer in the House!'

Come on, Show.

If there's a "double wedding" it will probably be along the lines of the New Year's Sex Scenes. Todd/Tea = True Love Finally Coming Together while elsewhere Blair/Eli = Lies! Danger! Psycho! DOOOOOOM!!

And Blair/Eli will probably still be better to watch than the Sad Pandas In Love.

I really don't see how any woman can love Todd. He goes in half-assed in any relationship. His proposal was so lazy and his vows from the last time he married Tea were the same way. Blair/Eli will definitely be much more interesting than Todd/Tea. I'm really hoping Eli gets redeemed somehow.

ITA that Starr/Cole have no appeal anymore. Their relationship is toxic and needs to end ASAP.

As for Markko/Langston, I'm hoping Markko realizes after that kiss that his feelings for Langston are gone.

I haven't been watching the show closely lately (so as always really appreciate your spot on analysis) but I would so come back if it meant I could become a Blair/Tea shipper. Not that ABC has listened to me at all lately, but just thought I'd put it out there.

(I know this is trafficking in the worst kind of stereotypes but if there are two women whose past experience with awful men has made them switch teams entirely, I can't think of a better example of Tea and Blair. Just sayin'.)

I know they have just straight up made him evil, but have they explained at all why Eli pushed Marty down the stairs?

"He's a womanizer, so from where I sit he's basically a dick but not a monster -- these recent efforts to give him a small dose of humanity give the character more than one note, and that's always a good thing. "

I don't think it's a good thing when a show rushes redemption because they are desperately trying to make someone "happen." It's also a slap in the face to abuse victims when a show suddenly invents child abuse when it's time to make viewers feel sorry for a character who treats everyone like garbage. And in the long run it leads to a character like Todd, who has, along with several others, basically gutted the show.

Mike, if Blair and Tea decided to switch teams and be with each other, it would make my life. They work together a lot better when they don't hate each other than Todd/Tea ever have.

LogopolisMike, from what I've seen, there hasn't yet been one utterance as to why Eli pushed Marty down the stairs.

Carl, I agree, which is why I'd prefer they let Ford keep his bad qualities instead of just, "Oh now that we know he had a bad childhood, he's all of a sudden being super-nice and he really WAS in love with Langston!" They can tell us a backstory without totally re-writing the frontstory, you know?

If I had to guess, I'd say that they'll probably "explain" Eli pushing Marty as him trying to get revenge on Todd for "killing" Ross and/or to get him out of the way as a rival for Blair's affection.

The Fords are Rappaports 2.0. I didn't mind Ford when he was just a peripheral bit of eyecandy, but now he has a brother and a tragic backstory and (spoiler!) another brother and a mother and probably somehow knocked up Jessica and "We were denied Kish for THIS?!"

I think Eli pushed Marty down the stairs to distract McBain from investigating the death of Kelly's mom. I think the bigger question is why is he rushing Blair into marriage?

I totally agree that Star and Cole have a brother/sister vibe going on. I think that's why I'm giving James a chance. He's got a look in his eye when he interacts with her that gives me hope for Nic's acting skills catching up with Kristen's.

I actually really like Ford as a character. I hope that he is redeemed, and maybe set up with a more interesting female character. I also love the chemistry between Starr and 'little' Ford.

I want my KISH back!

(And for Brian Frons to leave my sweet Ron Carlivati alone and let him write the stories he wants to write...)

Dirk,,,,I agree, let RC write his stories, his way!

Ford is eye candy and sex on a stick.

Langston took one look at Markko and all of her lies were suddenly back in her face.

Ugh. I hate when soaps bring on insta-families and their pushed down our throats. - Ford, Nate, James and now their mother!

I find Ford totally unappealing - he's not cute and I couldn't care less about his skinny abs.

Eli, on the other hand, is HOOOOOTTTTTT. And there is no way they'll be able to come up with a plausible reason for him throwing Marty down the stairs.


I'm looking for a Chicago soap opera blogger who can take my three topics a whole lot seriously than the ones on the other websites. What I did on this one was put out an ad/blog for any Chicago soap opera blogger to see. If you're from Chicago, a soap opera blogger, and HAVE seen my ad/blog, then, please feel free to call to interview me, and I'll elaborate in the topics I'd like to share with you for at least three days.

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