On today's episode of General Holy God, Why Is This Happening? It's Only July 7th and You're Telling Me That I Am Going to Have To Sit Through Sonny Having Fits of Rage Whenever Someone Accuses Him Of Putting a Bomb In Johnny's Car (Which He Did, Because He's a Monstrous Fool) For The Entire Summer? I Think I Am Going To Projectile Vomit My Own Brain, Alexis and Olivia accused Sonny of putting a bomb in Johnny's car (which he did, because he's a monstrous fool). This is how he responded.
Alexis: I want a direct answer from you: did you plant that car bomb?
Sonny: Of course not...you see, this is what you do, Alexis. You blame me for everything. That's what Kristina does, too. I guess she gets it from you.
Olivia: I want to hear you say it.
Sonny: Who are you to demand the truth from me?
Olivia: I am the mother of your first born son! Now, you look me in the face and you swear on Dante's life that you did not do this.
Sonny: I swear on Dante's life that I didn't do it.
Serial Drama readers, this is where you come in: I literally have no idea how to respond to this, aside from "HATE. HAAAATE. H-A-T-E. HATE? HATE. HATE!" But I think you can do better. It's time for Mad Libs.
The [ADJECTIVE] General Hospital writers already made the [ADJECTIVE] decision to have Sonny put a bomb in Johnny's car and have made this [ADJECTIVE] story even worse by having people call Sonny out on this [ADJECTIVE] act and having his [ADJECTIVE], [SYNONYM FOR SHORT], ass react with anger, pointing the finger and acting like a [EXPLETIVE] sociopath. This show is so [SYNONYM FOR AWFUL] that it could make a [SOMETHING ADORABLE] [VERB]. And, disturbingly, I now have something in common with Sonny because I, too, know what it's like to want to [SONNYESQUE ACT OF VIOLENCE] to/at this show's [SYNONYM FOR STUPID] face. And now that I have publicly compared myself to Sonny, I need to go [INSERT YOUR PREFERRED METHOD OF ENDING IT ALL HERE].