• About Us
  • FAQ
  • Archives
  • Links
  • SOD Columns

Ads

Facebook

  • Serial Drama on Facebook

Subscribe to Serial Drama

  • Add to Google Reader or Homepage

    Subscribe in Bloglines

    Add to My AOL

    Powered by FeedBurner

Shop Amazon.com

  • We'd love it if you would use these links to search or click through to Amazon.com. There is no charge to you and we get credit for linking you. Thanks so much!

    Canadian readers, it works for Amazon.ca too. Search or click here:

« Sorry, I Just Hallucinated | Main | Yawn City, Pennsylvania »

July 08, 2010

Please Help Me Put This Into Words

On today's episode of General Holy God, Why Is This Happening? It's Only July 7th and You're Telling Me That I Am Going to Have To Sit Through Sonny Having Fits of Rage Whenever Someone Accuses Him Of Putting a Bomb In Johnny's Car (Which He Did, Because He's a Monstrous Fool) For The Entire Summer? I Think I Am Going To Projectile Vomit My Own Brain, Alexis and Olivia accused Sonny of putting a bomb in Johnny's car (which he did, because he's a monstrous fool). This is how he responded.

Alexis: I want a direct answer from you: did you plant that car bomb?
Sonny: Of course not...you see, this is what you do, Alexis. You blame me for everything. That's what Kristina does, too. I guess she gets it from you.

Olivia: I want to hear you say it.
Sonny: Who are you to demand the truth from me?
Olivia: I am the mother of your first born son! Now, you look me in the face and you swear on Dante's life that you did not do this.
Sonny: I swear on Dante's life that I didn't do it.

Serial Drama readers, this is where you come in: I literally have no idea how to respond to this, aside from "HATE. HAAAATE. H-A-T-E. HATE? HATE. HATE!" But I think you can do better. It's time for Mad Libs.

The [ADJECTIVE] General Hospital writers already made the [ADJECTIVE] decision to have Sonny put a bomb in Johnny's car and have made this [ADJECTIVE] story even worse by having people call Sonny out on this [ADJECTIVE] act and having his [ADJECTIVE], [SYNONYM FOR SHORT], ass react with anger, pointing the finger and acting like a [EXPLETIVE] sociopath. This show is so [SYNONYM FOR AWFUL] that it could make a [SOMETHING ADORABLE] [VERB]. And, disturbingly, I now have something in common with Sonny because I, too, know what it's like to want to [SONNYESQUE ACT OF VIOLENCE] to/at this show's [SYNONYM FOR STUPID] face. And now that I have publicly compared myself to Sonny, I need to go [INSERT YOUR PREFERRED METHOD OF ENDING IT ALL HERE].

Comments

I have been watching GH since the days of Jessie Brewer and Lucille and I never did see the big Sonny draw. He has always been a self serving liar but I think the writers really want us to hate him at this point.

It's just disgusting how he acts so indignant that people are actually accusing him of something that HE DID DO!!! Now he's swearing on his child's life - how can he come back from that?

So glad I gave up on this show, but I love reading your thoughts on it. Question: since Sonny swore on Dante's life and lied, does this mean he'll have to shoot him in the chest again? Poor Dante... I hate this show. Thanks for watching so I don't have to lol.

This asshat is also using the deaths of his wife and unborn child to shield himself from suspicion of a crime he absolutely DID commit. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your romantic lead! **gags**

Technically, Sonny didn't plant the bomb in Johnny's car. He paid someone else to do it, so I'm sure in his mind, he's not lying. That's the only way that Guza can justify this whole sorry storyline. What's even worse is that Michael heard Sonny admit that he did it, and he's okay with it.

I know it's ridiculous but the thing that made me laugh the hardest? "SYNOMN FOR SHORT". I have no idea why but full out giggles for like ten minutes on that one.

Elizabeth Kerri is totally right. In Sonny's mind he's totally not lying becuase Max, King of the Idiot People, was the one who actually put the bomb on Johnny's car. You know I've always wondered why Max was kept around considering how spectacularly inept he is at his job and now I know. He's there so Sonny doesn't actually have to face blame for his own actions! Mystery solved!

Mallory – GREAT Mad Libs! LMAO

TJ - LOL at your question. That was perfect.

Alexis's question to Sonny was stupid, and as a lawyer (allegedly), she should know better and use more precise language. Sonny rarely does his own dirty work, so asking him if he planted the bomb, while a good start (ref: Sonny SHOOTING DANTE IN THE CHEST - Sonny will get hands dirty once in a very great while), Alexis should have reverted back to her courtroom days and remembered to ask him the follow-up question of, "Did you tell/instruct/order anyone else to plant that bomb?" By the way she phrased it, Alexis left Sonny the "I didn't lie" defense because "technically" he didn't actually plant the bomb.

However, I think in the second encounter with Olivia, the broad manner in which she phrased her question actually helps. By asking if Sonny "did this," she gets away from the did you plant the bomb trap that Alexis got into. When it comes out that Sonny did, in fact, "do this" because he gave the order, he won't be able to say he didn't lie to Olivia. In Olivia's question, doing "this" means being behind the bomb and Sonny knows that. Olivia knows that the slimeball rarely gets his own hands dirty (you know, except when he SHOT HER SON DANTE IN THE CHEST!), so by being vague about it, Olivia was more broadly asking Sonny if he was involved in it, not if his manicured little girl hands actually, physically planted the bomb.

HOWEVER, in both cases, Sonny later claiming that he didn’t lie about it because of what Alexis and Olivia actually asked him is going to be very, very weak. Regardless of what words were used, Sonny KNOWS EXACTLY what Alexis and Olivia were really him and he chose to lie. I doubt when the truth does come out and Sonny tries to pull the “it depends on what the definition of the word ‘is’ is” defense” that Alexis and Olivia will just smile and say “Aw shucks, Sonny, you’re right. You didn’t lie about the bomb because we didn’t ask the right question” and magically everything will be okay. The fact is that Sonny knows he lied to Alexis at least because after she left, Sonny told Michael he had to lie about it and asked if Michael understood why he lied.

Beth R. - "Max, King of the Idiot People" that was good, but I thought Guza was the King of the Idiot People -- oh wait, Guza's probably not that high up in the Idiot People regime...

No.

That is seriously the response I've had for this show for quite a while.

I was so full of rage after watching Sonny yesterday that I wanted to smack Olivia for her ridiculous "Thank you." Really, how can someone seem to despise and remain respectful to someone at the same time like that??? I'm shocked she actually remembered he shot her kid b/c these past few weeks she's been his ultimate cheerleader. At least Alexis just walked away. I'm not convinced she believed him. Thank you, Olivia???

I just can't with Sonny anymore. I was horrified at his behavior and righteous indignation that anyone would believe he had anything to do with this. I'm beyond sick of him blaming Alexis for Kristina's dislike of him and keeping her away, when he proves her point at every turn.

I am just so keyed up that I can't fully embrace that fact that Maxie apparently gets around by way of a scooter. Scooter, you guys!

OK, I'll play:

The mashed-potatoes-for-brains General Hospital writers already made the WTF decision to have Sonny put a bomb in Johnny's car and have made this lousy story even worse by having people call Sonny out on this repulsive act and having his delusional, "fun-sized", ass react with anger, pointing the finger and acting like a Jasus-hating sociopath. This show is so bad-bad-bad-bad-bad-bad-bad that it could make a Smurf explode (possibly via car bomb). And, disturbingly, I now have something in common with Sonny because I, too, know what it's like to want to shoot to/at this show's few-fries-short-of-a-Happy-Meal face. And now that I have publicly compared myself to Sonny, I need to go mix a cocktail of hemlock and cyanide.


Good job Scooter, but I feel no Sonny related Mad Libs are accurate unless they include the phrase "slapping around a lying whore."

Wow, the fact that I can use that phrase in a joke really speaks volumes about GH doesn't it.

Is Guza mentally damaged or something? I would think that if anyone would be sensitive to pissing all over "clink boom" it would be the man who has been living off of it for decades? But yet, there he goes. I'd feel sorry for him if it wasn't so nasty.

Dear ABC:
If you get new folks in charge and these folks kill of Sonny in the first month and then the rest of the year is spent dealing with about how all of these characters respond to being suddenly out of this horribly unhealthy relationship, I will watch GH every day for 18 months and buy a product for every commercial. I might even watch The Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars.

Okay, I won't do that. But I continually watch every rerun of Modern Family even though I typically watched them twice during their first run. And I've lately started telling people that despite it's title, they should give Cougar Town a chance. What I'm saying is, you owe me.

Mike

PS This feels like a deal with the devil.

Tracy- I tend to think Sonny is more the power mad court jester who just thinks he's king and no one wants to tell the power dumbass he's just an idiot there for amusement. I mean clearly he's demonstarted that Jason the BRAIN DAMAGED HITMAN is the smarts in this operation time and time again. I repeate the BRAIN DAMAGED one is the smart one.

I remember when they introduced sonny. It was a good story and he wasn't the main focus and brenda was in it, so that made it better. He wasn't horrible then and they really could have changed his whole storyline. but no...
i finally saw the episode where sonny shoots dante. omg- that was really horrible. I would think that after that there would be no more of this bull- but wow. I am sorry that you have to watch the show but I really appreciate being kept up on the crazy horrible stories.

@Scooter - "fun-sized" ass! Tee-hee!

The makes-Brittany-from-Glee-look-like-a-Mensa candidate General Hospital writers already made the monstrously stupid but somehow utterly predictable decision to have Sonny put a bomb in Johnny's car and have made this giant colostomy bag of a story even worse by having people call Sonny out on this ALSO monstrous but somehow utterly predictable act and having his makes-W-look-articulate, garden gnome, ass react with anger, pointing the finger and acting like the motherfucking douchebag sociopath that he is. This show is so offensive not only to women but to humanity in general that it could make a newborn curse like it has Tourette's. And, disturbingly, I now have something in common with Sonny because I, too, know what it's like to want to hang this show on a meathook in a freezer until it agrees to either a- kill Guza and Phelps and make itself better, or b-cease to exist...I don't care which . And now that I have publicly compared myself to Sonny, I need to go find a very tall bridge with very swiftly running water beneath it.

I took a little dramatic license, sorry. But I feel better now,thanks.

Sonny is a petulant child.

The abysmal General Hospital writers already made the pudding-for-brains decision to have Sonny put a bomb in Johnny's car and have made this nausea-inducing story even worse by having people call Sonny out on this heinous act and having his lying-whore-slapping, puny ass react with anger, pointing the finger and acting like a shit-for-brains failure of a sociopath. This show is so horrific that it could make a cross-eyed puppy leap down a flight of stairs. And, disturbingly, I now have something in common with Sonny because I, too, know what it's like to want to hire a sniper to fire hollow point rounds at this show's imbecilic face. And now that I have publicly compared myself to Sonny, I need to go shoot myself full of Novocaine, hop into a tub full of running water, and peel my creeping, crawling skin off with a paring knife.

The OLD, PREDICTABLE, TIRED, DULL, BORING AND REPETITIVE General Hospital writers already made the OLD, PREDICTABLE, TIRED, DULL, BORING AND REPETITIVE decision to have Sonny put a bomb in Johnny's car and have made this PREDICTABLE, OLD, TIRED, DULL, BORING AND REPETITIVE story even worse by having people call Sonny out on this PREDICTABLE, OLD, TIRED, DULL, BORING AND REPETITIVE act and having his PREDICTABLE, OLD TIRED, DULL, BORING, REPETITIVE AND INADEQUATE ass react with anger, pointing the finger and acting like a PREDICTABLE, TIRED, OLD, DULL, BORING AND REPETITIVE sociopath. This show is so PREDICTABLE, OLD, TIRED, DULL, BORING, REPETITIVE AND DEPLORABLE that it could make EVEN A DELIGHTFUL DEER LIKE BAMBI GORE OLD, DULL, PREDICTABLE BORING AND REPETITIVE WRITERS TO PIECES. And, disturbingly, I now have something in common with Sonny because I, too, know what it's like to want to MUMBLE PREDICTABLE, TIRED, OLD, DULL, BORING AND REPETITIVE DEROGATORY SLURS FOR WOMEN at this show's PREDICTABLE, TIRED, OLD, DULL, BORING AND REPETITIVE face. And now that I have publicly compared myself to Sonny, I need to go FOLLOW A BUNCH OF LEMMINGS AS THEY RUSH OVER A CLIFF.

best Sonny line of the day - "I'm not use to lying to the ones i Love"

... FML!?

Best laugh of the week! Thanks Mallory, and everyone who posted the Mad Libs! I'm howling!

The less-talented than a trained monkey General Hospital writers already made the boneheaded decision to have Sonny put a bomb in Johnny's car and have made this airtime wasting story even worse by having people call Sonny out on this buffonish act and having his thuggish, Lord Farquaad-like ass react with anger, pointing the finger and acting like a piece of shit sociopath. This show is so repulsive that it could make a litter of puppies eat each other. And, disturbingly, I now have something in common with Sonny because I, too, know what it's like to want to throw barware and hurl accusations of being a whore at this show's imbecilic face. And now that I have publicly compared myself to Sonny, I need to go throw myself under the Port Chuck tour bus (OR just attend one their concerts -- same thing).

Oh my gosh, you guys, you have no idea how hard I have been laughing at your Mad Libs. SERIOUSLY, Serial Drama readers are the best. You all delight me!

Have you guys seen this?

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/340894/july-06-2010/latest-soap-opera-news

I only wish Colbert was more scathing but it's still pretty funny.

thanks for the mad libs... marianne the glee reference was brillant.

I did find it amazing that Guza that made a mockery of the "click boom" scenes since he has benefited from them for years. I love Vanessa Marcil (and the character of Brenda) but nothing can salvage the character of Sonny for me. He has tired to kill two of children and a third one was shot at b/c of him. Enough!!!!! Sonny needs to go to Pentonville now and throw the key away. Guza needs to go now

Mallory, you and Becca are the best, actually. I only watch Sonny scenes so I can better enjoy your blog later....wait, should I be thanking y'all for that?

The couldn't tell an interesting story to save their lives General Hospital writers already made the god-awful decision to have Sonny put a bomb in Johnny's car and have made this decade long love fest for criminals story even worse by having people call Sonny out on this despicably awful for normal people but not quite as bad for Sonny act and having his loser, pint-size ass react with anger, pointing the finger and acting like a douchebag sociopath. This show is so exact opposite of everything good in the world that it could make a puppy hang itself by the collar. And, disturbingly, I now have something in common with Sonny because I, too, know what it's like to shoot through my "loved ones" at this show's dopey face. And now that I have publicly compared myself to Sonny, I need to go watch some All My Children shouldn't be long until either the boredom or a Ryan induced stroke kills me.

Ooh,I'd love to play: The moronic General Hospital writers already made the reckless decision to have Sonny put a bomb in Johnny's car and have made this sorry-ass story even worse by having people call Sonny out on this cowardly act and having his ugly, sprout-like, ass react with anger, pointing the finger and acting like a fu@k*ng sociopath. This show is so rank that it could make a fuzzy bunny swill cheap booze. And, disturbingly, I now have something in common with Sonny because I, too, know what it's like to want to blow my t.v. screen out at this show's pudding-head face. And now that I have publicly compared myself to Sonny, I need to go ask the Lopez Brothers to make a fire works display of my car!

Thanks for the comic relief. I don't watch either. You are a brave soul.

The comments to this entry are closed.