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« Yawn City, Pennsylvania | Main | ABC Daytime Makes "What If?" Sound So Threatening! »

July 09, 2010

Yea noise. Then I'll be brief. Oh happy dagger...

Yeah, it's gotten there.  We're in Shakespearean tragedy territory.  And before anyone starts throwing tomatoes at me (or before the many of you who've quit watching this rapidly deteriorating train wreck decide it must be time to go back), I don't mean that the show itself is of any quality resembling a Shakespearean tragedy, just that what's happened to it is tragic.  In an epic, Elizabethan sort of way.  Oh and also it was my pretentious way of saying this is going to be short.

The bright spot for months has been the Blair and Eli coupling, their dynamite chemistry, and the fact that this seemingly lovely guy was being decent to Blair -- finally!  But of course they've taken that away from us, so we really only have one bright, chemistry-laden spot left.  Go figure, it still belongs to Blair.


Tea and Blair, currently the most rootable love story on canvas.  Sure, they'd abandoned it a bit to have Todd and Tea and Dani and their ever-so-important family build inroads and be schmoopy, but we got a brief and delightful revisit yesterday.  I'm still assuming Tea isn't really going to die but, if she is, I hope she gets her act together in time to ask Blair to adopt Dani when the time comes.  That has to be where this is going, right?  And a kiss -- a real kiss -- right before she fades away, as Tea and Blair confess their true feelings to one another?

I have to confess that while I was rolling my eyes and anxious for the Tea/Todd/Dani scenes to end quickly, I got a little teary-eyed in Tea's scenes with Blair.  Somehow that's the only way to get me emotionally invested in her brain tumor.

Note to Starr:  when someone's brother is in surgery to save his life from a bullet wound, you don't introduce the situation to the conscious brother with, "Why's he in there?  Because I shot him."  Even if you hate said older brother because your trashy best friend got played by him.  Really, you might want to open with something more along the lines of, "Listen, first off, he's been awake already, there's a good chance he'll pull through, he was accidentally shot during a struggle."  Then you 'fess up that it was you who pulled that trigger.  This is common knowledge, right?

Note to Kelly:  Todd?  Really?  Eww!  Also, my friend Lauren alerted me to the frightening weight of her earrings and -- sure enough -- her earlobes were being pulled down so far it looked like they were about to split.  It was disturbing.  I promise I tried to get a clear screencap, but to no avail.  So go back, look, it's intense.

Note to writers: Introducing another character (Marty) into a situation does not mean having the exact same conversation for the 234th time isn't having the exact same conversation for the 234th time.  It is. 

Note to John: Yes, it's clear that you don't give a crap that your ex-girlfriend miscarried your baby, but maybe at least fake it out of compassion?  Instead of acting like you're "heroically" investigating a crime to help her?  Perhaps pretend that the crime actually had some emotional impact on you as well?

And speaking of which, now it's apparently official.  Eli pushed Marty down the stairs.  That's right.  Was he also the secret CEO of BP, for fuck's sake?  Look how evil he is now!


And again I say: suck it, show.  (Although it's worth mentioning again that Matt Walton is rocking this.)

Destiny out.  (To go put a dagger into its sheath.)


Oh, damn. Damndamndamn!

I fucking hate Ron Carlivati. What's the matter, Ron? Were Todd/Tea just not precious enough on their own? You've still got to tear Blair down?

So, if a guy treats you like crap, he's great. But if he treats you with respect and care and love and desire... he's actually a secret psycho who's out to destroy everyone.

Blair gets nothing. That's just swell. And honestly? I still don't care about all of his crimes. Hell, JOHN can't even be buggered to care about the baby that apparently kept him from Natalie or what the hell ever.

It's like Ron sat down and made a list of all the things Eli could be responsible for that Blair could never get over and specifically twisted the show to make him the worst of the worst. Why? Because people actually LIKED Blair/Elijah?


Again. Fuck you, Ron.

there rust, and let todd die.

I think that after the truth about Eli comes out and Todd predictably hurts Tea, both Blair and Tea say screw men and start a relationship. They'd probably be a lot more functional and less toxic then any other relationship they've been in.

Mark Walton as evil Eli is delicious I must say. I hope that he gets redeemed somehow, but I am enjoying his evilness. My thinking is that he's doing this all for Blair in obsessive way.

I'd love for Eli to be redeemed. Eli having a bit of a dark side isn't the issue. Matt Walton plays it beautifully. And I'd rather it not be for Blair's sake... that's creepy, the way it was with Spencer. 'I killed Marty's baby for YOU, Blair!' Um... no.

I'd rather he just love Blair like crazy and be doing all of these awful things for other reasons... reasons that make some sense. Any sense at all.

Blair threatened to kill Todd with her own hands if he was the one responsible for killing Marty's baby... I just don't see her sweeping this aside. But she's also forgiven Todd for throwing Starr down stairs and giving Jack away and giving her a can of dirt to mourn.

I just don't want to lose B&E. They're too good.

Louise, I just can't muster up the level of hate for this show that you are feeling right now. I'm frustrated with several storylines right now, but there is still so much to love! Viki's giggle of glee when David poured the water over Dorian's head was delightful! Kristen Alderson's performances show how much she's grown as an actor. Blair and Tea's friendship is so genuinely played by Cassie and Florencia. All this and Jolie too! I'm still hanging in there.

I'm enjoying OLTL. It was a lot better before throwing Kish, Schuyler and Rachel under the bus for a boatload of teens, but, it's not like we're back in the days of Eterna!

Viki laughing about Dorian/David was hilarious!

If only Eli would push Kelly down the stairs!

Blair is not some do good-er and can handle whatever ish that Eli throws her way.

Natalie. I hate that she quit her BE job to follow McBore around as his new Forensic Tech....Blech.

Marty. Why is Marty even on the show? Seriously, her time has come and gone. I like Marty, but she is so boring!

"I think that after the truth about Eli comes out and Todd predictably hurts Tea, both Blair and Tea say screw men and start a relationship."

The more Todd hurts Tea the more she loves him. This is the woman who saw a punch in the face as a sign of devotion.

"Viki's giggle of glee when David poured the water over Dorian's head was delightful!"

I just keep wondering why Viki's dignity has been sacrificed over the past few years in story after story revolving around making Viki and Dorian look as petty as possible. Having their stories revolve around smug, empty David, who would rather spend his time with hookers, is probably a big reason why.

@Carl, I think a few moments of laughing at Dorian's expense was better than "Oh, my poor daughter Messica! Whatever will I do?" Viki deserves the comic relief that David offers. However, I totally agree that when Dorian and Viki get into the usual sniping, they lose their dignity and it's so disappointing that the writers descend to that level.

There is not much to recommend this show save for the affection I have for actors like Robin Strasser and Kassie DePaiva. I lament that they have thrown away the closeness and scheming of Dorian and Blair for tales of woe with tumor girl and her new glamazon bff, Blair. What a load of bull if, after all the sniffling, Tea gets a miracle and lives. If RC is ripping off Beaches --then tumor girl must die.

What a sad state of affairs when the freaking brilliant and cunning Dorian Lord is stuck as the brunt of jokes at the hands of a dimwitted clown in David while Viki foolishly giggles and twitters as Charlie looks baffled. David is indeed an empty suit who bangs hookers and spends every tiresome visit belittling and degrading Dorian while clinging desperately to Viki's apron strings.

Bring back Ray Montez for Dorian. Now that was an awesome match. He was a man with passion for Dorian and a happy lack of interest or affection for Viki.

I too hate the "teen scene" but hey - it happens every summer - so that's what the ff button is for. I'm still feeling the love for:

Dorian, Vicki, David, Bo, Nora, Clint (where the heck is Clint, anyway?), Blair, Matthew, Eli and sometimes Jessica & Natalie (but not with McBore), still make the show worth watching...and from what I read on here about GH, which I gave up a few years ago, that is saying a lot!

I think that is the longest run-on sentence I've ever written.

Is it possible that Ron has been spending time with Bob Guza and learning the tricks of the trade, err, hackery?

OLTL does a good when showing women that hate each other Viki/Dorian, Nora/Lyndsay, Blair/Tea and Blair/Kelly who rise above their hatred for each other when tragedy strikes,,,when that happens it becomes very soapy, since they can always flip back to hating each other down the road.

I want Tea to DIE. And i like Tea the character, lol but if she finally is cured this storyline would have been such a waste and uber-anticlimatic !!!
With her heartbreaking death we could see such interesting dynamic between Blair and Dani, Dani and Todd, Dani and Starr, Blair and Todd...
I love Eli as a delicious villain (the actor is good at being bad) but yeah they wrote him on a corner with that..let's hope they won't destroy him too much..a grey character i want, a light redemption why not, an interesting dynamic with Blair (i don't want a good guy for Blair, i want a guy like her, flawed, bad and good).
Give Marty a storyline, bring back her edge, for pete's sake she was "party girl" a little bitch back in the day or let her go but it will be a waste because Haskell is maybe the best actress on this show when she has the material..

I haven't watched more than once a week or so, so I'm still flummoxed by Eli's random attack on Marty. Have they explained that yet? The whole thing seems so effing left field to me, I'm not sure why I even watch this show anymore.

And how the hell did Natalie get her forensic tech job back? She was fired because she falsified evidence or some illegal thing. Totally unbelievable that she would be hired back.

I enjoyed all of them. It was a really nice change of pace and felt like something soap opera-related that was new and unexpected for once.

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