Bringing Brenda Back
If you watch a television show on any channel besides your local public access channel, you've seen promos for General Hospital and Vanessa Marcil Giovinazzo's (am I ever going to get used to saying/typing that? No, probably not) appearances on Wendy Williams and The View, all heralding Brenda Barrett's return to Port Charles on Wednesday (the day I have been waiting for/nervous about for months is finally almost here!).
This was apparently news for General Hospital, who is behind the curve at the best of times, and they realized that they'd have to scramble in order to set the stage for this return. They've done it exactly how you'd imagine: poorly.
Actually, that's not totally true. I kind of enjoyed Sonny's flashback on the docks, because...well, because I heart flashbacks, and the only reason I took offense at Spinelli's reference to "the mysterious Brenda" is that I've gotten used to reacting with visceral hatred at everything Spinelli says or does. And even Robin spritzing on Eau De Exposition and visiting Sonny to fill him in on Brenda's involvement with a charity was fine.
But UGH, the very first mention of Brenda in Friday's episode was so stupid and so...GH-y.
Robin: I just got an email from an old friend. I actually saw her when I was in Africa. It was so strange, we hadn't seen each other in ages.
Patrick: What are the chances of that?
Robin: Yeah, exactly. We said it must have been fate telling us that we should stay in better touch with each other.
Patrick: Somebody from France?
Robin: Port Charles, actually. But she was long gone before you ever came to town. Her name's Brenda Barrett.
FIRST OF ALL, shouldn't that have been one of the first things Robin said upon her return? "You'll never believe it, I randomly saw my best friend ever!" I know that it would have been difficult for the writers to shoehorn something like that in between all of the ironic and over-the-top praise Robin has been lavishing at Patrick for being the world's most devoted husband, but come on!
SECOND OF ALL, there is really no way for me to write this sentence without seeming weirdly invested in the lives of fictional people, but: Robin and Brenda would have never just, you know, fallen out of touch. I find that incredibly offensive.
AND THIRD OF ALL, Robin never mentioned Brenda to Patrick? LIKE, I AM SO SURE.
Robin: I went to see Sonny. I told him about the email from Brenda, and I also slipped him her email address and her phone number.
Patrick: What, were they involved at some point or something?
WHAT? Sorry, but I am not buying that Robin would not talk about Brenda at some point over the course of her relationship with Patrick. I double don't buy it because if Robin was really wallowing over Stone as much as she and Patrick say she was, wouldn't Brenda have played a big role in her apparently ridiculous reminiscing?
If they screw up Robin and Brenda's friendship, I am seriously going to be...actually, that's the best case scenario, isn't it? The more likely scenario is that they don't focus on their friendship at all in favor of putting Brenda in scenes with Sonny, Jason, Jax (if I'm being optimistic), Carly and Spinelli.
Brief thoughts about the other goings-on in Port Charles:
- I enjoyed that Lucky was the one to investigate Franco's mother and I actually "Aww!"ed at his line about Aiden being his son, but, uh, he didn't actually need a disguise, right? Since Karen had no idea who he was, the suit and glasses were sort of unnecessary, if adorable.
I am just going to chalk this up to a Spencer family fondness for the land of make believe.
(I actually first typed "a Spencer family fondness for role-playing" and then got grossed out because it made me remember Tony Geary's musings about Luke and Tracy's sex life and I am sorry for bringing that up again just now in case you were lucky enough to have forgotten/repressed it)
- Spinelli was on and terrible.
Lulu: You're not making this easy on me.
Spinelli: Should I?
Spinelli: All of whom have warned you at one time or another about this man that you're infatuated with. People who have known you longer than you've known him. People whose opinions should, if not matter, at least be taken under advisement. But, no, you just take Dante at face value even though he has proven his propensity for lying.
- Constance Towers got saddled with a line I can only describe as "icky"
Helena: Oh, and Thor, clear your calendar, I'll be needing that massage-- with benefits
but, thankfully, rebounded with a line I can only describe as "If cackling at this admittedly offensive line is wrong, I don't want to be right".
Helena: You know, Nikolas, i came here today to do you a kindness, but I have decided you don't deserve it. Now you stay with your broodmare and her crop of illegitimate little rag tags.
Obviously I take offense at the dig at Cam, but "illegitimate little rag tags" is kind of amazing. It should be a band name.
- Claire's meaningful look after she questioned Johnny seems to indicate...something.
Is she playing Johnny? Is she playing Sonny? Is she playing both of them? Is Dahlia Salem the most unnatural actor in this cast, yes, including the girl who plays Maya? The answer to the last question is a resounding yes, but the others? Who the hell knows. I just can't help but roll my eyes and prepare myself for a shitstorm of continuity errors and plotholes when this show tries out ambiguity.