Everything I Know About Police Procedure, I Learned From Law & Order
TECHNICALLY, General Hospital fulfilled two of my long hoped for wishes: Lucky's been given more screentime than a dayplayer, and Jason didn't swoop in to save Aiden heroically, albeit emotionlessly. I just always envisioned these wishes playing out onscreen less...terribly.
Now, I am no expert on police protocol, but it seems to me that, somewhere over the course of yesterday's episode, Lucky should have:
1. Called the local authorities and/or the FBI for backup, because...isn't that just what's done? I swear, the BAU on Criminal Minds is called in for far less than a kidnapped baby in some episodes.
2. Alerted some sort of law enforcement, any sort of law enforcement, that Franco's mother had the baby. "What's important is that the mother of an unbalanced serial killer/kidnapper/artist gave the baby back to me with very few questions asked. Clearly, this is a gal who has her head on straight! We don't need to waste time asking her where her son could possibly be. That would seriously cut into the time I've allotted myself to have an adorable, emotional heart-to-heart with this infant."
3. I don't know, texted a picture of this baby to Nikolas and/or Elizabeth to confirm that he was, in fact, Aiden! What the hell?! I'd suggest doing something crazy like a DNA test, but we obviously can't have police and medical professionals being competent in one story (well, Lucky acted borderline competently here. And for a cop in GH to even be granted that luxury is pretty impressive. Plus, a DNA test now would totally interfere with the shocking paternity reveal story that is coming at some point, hopefully sooner rather than later, because Lucky and Nikolas's hearts will be broken the longer this goes on).
4. Maybe called Nik and Elizabeth to tell them that their son was safe! That would have completely ruined his dramatic entrance, but it would have saved them quite a few hours of heartache AND it would have spared Cam, Spencer and Jake a tremendously awkward conversation.
Nikolas: Okay, uh, so something happened at the hospital.
Elizabeth: Aiden was taken out of the nursery, guys.
Cameron: Where is he?
Nikolas: That's just it, buddy. We don't know where he is.
Elizabeth: But that's for now. It's only for now.
Nikolas: Yeah, Lucky's trying to find him.
Elizabeth: Your daddy's out looking for him and he's going to bring him home. And until then, we just have to say lots of prayers, okay?
Nikolas was so obviously out of his depth here! And, really, these kids have experienced enough in their short lives that all Nik needed to do was say, "You know how we live in Port Charles and how sometimes that means that terrible, violent things happen to us during sweeps periods?" One of them, probably Cam, would say, "Let me guess: he's been kidnapped" and Jake would point out that, while it's natural for them to be nervous, everything would work out fine, and, judging by his posture, Spencer would say something incredibly eloquent.
But, no, Lucky kept the baby's safety a secret. I hope Cam is like, "The hell, Dad?"
I'm not surprised that this was written as shoddily as it was; I'm just crabby about it. And doubly crabby that ABC aired classic, Brenda-centric episodes today that, while entertaining, only served to remind me that (a) over half of the people in the credits are now dead and (b) that this show has fallen. Fallen hard.