This is what I just do not understand about General Hospital:
(And, really, it says a lot about the current state of this show that off the top of your heads, you probably thought of at least 27 different endings for that sentence!)
The show has a story that actually manages to be entertaining. ON PURPOSE. This is rare in and of itself, and it's all the more noteworthy when you factor in how problematic the story is, premise-wise (a Fatal Attraction knockoff? How not at all cheesy and played out. And that's not even taking into account how annoying it was that they even had Patrick cheat with Lisa so grossly) and airtime-wise (as in, it got very little and what it did get was paced horribly). The story features hot, young medical professionals: one said medical professional we actually saw grow up onscreen, and another turned out to be incredibly adept at being crazy. And the story, rushed though it may be, came to a head today with a highly anticipated Robin/Patrick confession/confrontation scene.
So why, why, why did these scenes seem so shoehorned in to today's otherwise unremarkable episode? Shouldn't they have had a more prominent role? Or the last scene of the episode, at the very least? Is there really a segment of the audience out there thinking to themselves, "I need to see more of Sonny being arrested for the thousandth time. And the more detail, the better!"? There probably is, isn't there? Horrifying.
At any rate, while the show might not have appreciated today's Scorpio-Drake scenes, I certainly did and am utterly grateful to Awesome Writer for writing them. We should send Awesome Writer a fruit basket. Or, even better, a cupcake tower. And all three players were fantastic!
Brianna Brown had one note to play: WHACKADOO. And she played it with gusto.
Lisa, expressing shock that Robin and Patrick were concerned when their daughter went missing: You two were really worried?
Lisa: Okay, Robin. Breathe. I think you're turning this into something it's not.
Lisa: You know that therapist you talked to about post partum depression? You might want to talk to her next about paranoia.
Robin: You took my daughter.
Lisa: For ice cream!
That is endlessly amusing to me. Taking a child without the consent of her guardian is frowned upon in all circumstances but dessert circumstances!
Jason Thompson and Kimberly McCullough had all sorts of emotions to convey: shock, numbness, rage, fear, guilt and heartache.
And they conveyed them so damn well.
While Lisa was responding blithely and, let me say it again, crazily to the kidnapping accusations, you could actually see Patrick's sheer terror that he was trying to hide. And when the confession came--oh, man. It physically pained him to say the words out loud.
Patrick: Lisa's been able to get away with everything because I was afraid of what she would say.
Robin: What would she say? Come on, you're scaring me.
Patrick: Robin, while you were in Africa, I slept with Lisa.
If you've ever been the recipient of devastating news of the romantic or non-romantic variety, you know how it feels: there's a pit in your stomach, your ears start to ring a little and you probably cry, but you're so surprised that you are just numb overall. That's exactly how Robin reacted, and I loved it. Well, I didn't love it, but you know what I mean: it was so (painfully) realistic, much more than immediately jumping to rage.
Robin: I just want to make sure I heard you right.
Patrick: I slept with Lisa the night you came home from Africa. I had too much to drink, and it just...
Robin: Well, then, that explains a lot. (Starts to cry)
Patrick: I'm sorry. It was a mistake, and I've never regretted anything more in my life.
Robin: I'm such an idiot.
Patrick: You're not an idiot, please don't say that.
Robin: I am. I actually thought my husband would be faithful to me.
Robin: "Just one time"? Yeah, just once. Just once you broke our marriage vows. Just (voice breaks) once you betrayed me. Just once you let me think I was paranoid when Lisa was dropping those hints because you didn't want her to tell me the truth.
Patrick, crying now: I was scared, okay?
Robin: Do you want to be with her? Is that it? Are you just staying with me because we're married and have a baby?
Patrick: No, I want to be with you. I've always just wanted you.
Robin: You've been distant. You've been avoiding me.
Patrick: Because the guilt was killing me. Listen, I know I don't deserve you, but--
Robin: No, you don't. You're right about that. And I know that I've been distant at times, and we've always had our problems, but I thought we'd get past that. So what, were you getting back at me for going to Africa?
Patrick: It's not that.
Robin: You thought "Robin's leaving me in this life that I never asked for, so I'll just get back at her by sleeping with Lisa".
Patrick: Robin, please listen to me. I love you. I've always loved you.
Robin: Do you know what that means? I don't think you do, because if you did, you sure as hell wouldn't have gone and trashed our marriage.
THEN came the fury.
Robin: SHUT UP. Just shut up. I refuse to listen to your lies and your excuses any more.
Patrick: Robin, I know we can get past this. We can work through--
Robin, picking up their wedding picture and throwing it at the door: Are you happy now? I broke something. So why don't you go out and get yourself a shiny new frame and convince yourself that everything that's broken can be fixed?
Robin: Get out. I will not look at you pouting any longer.
It was some damn good soap. Jason Thompson and, especially, Kimberly McCullough were SO, SO good. Watching them pull that off in such a stellar way made me angry all over again that this show refuses to treat them as major players and instead made them supremely talented dayplayers.
Brief thoughts about the rest of today's show:
- Vanessa Marcil looks cuter in leggings and a t-shirt than any person has a right to.
I have officially been watching too much True Blood, because I keep thinking about what supernatural creature she could be, since she's obviously not human.
- Brad Rowe and Murphy are just the blandest of the bland, no? I don't buy him at all as the superstar actor from "that spy picture". The "guy who does forgettable guest spots on mediocre television shows and made-for-television movies", yes. But movies that people would pay to see? No.
- I will let Dante sum up his father's unique attempt to mount a legal defense:
Sonny: You think if I wanted him dead I would have walked away and not finished the job?
Dante: Well, that's gotta be a first. You're using your efficiency as a killer as your defense?
- Even when she's playing Sonny, Claire manages to be supremely annoying. I had always thought that the enemy of my enemy was my friend or, if not my friend, than at least a character who didn't make me vomit on sight, but UGH. I think I might be allergic to Dahlia Salem.
- When Claire played the incriminating tape, Ronnie actually looked turned out, and it was disturbing.
Keep it to yourself, Dirty Bird.
- Duh Face!
- If the episode hadn't included all of the Robin/Patrick dramatic goodness, my favorite part of today's show probably would have been Sonny staring out the window of the interrogation room.