Sucks So Good: True Blood 3.7, "Hitting The Ground"
Sunday evenings are, traditionally, the second worst part of any week; Monday mornings obviously claim the title for the worst part. It's usually hard to enjoy a Sunday night with Monday's presence looming eerily, taunting you with the bags under your bloodshot eyes that are soon to come. So powerful is Monday that I'm on summer vacation right now and have nothing to even do on Mondays, and I still find myself dreading them.
The TV gods, however, are smiling on us this summer and have filled our Sundays with Mad Men AND True Blood in one night. It's glorious, no?
Which brings us to our latest installment of Sucks So Good (thanks again to Mary Beth for the name!) and talk of the blood and gore in Bon Temps. After the jump, chatter about "Hitting the Ground"!
First things first: what the hell, people? That episode started early AND it ended early! I feel deprived and am frowning sternly in HBO's general direction.
Second things second: the running theme of this week's episode? Death. When an episode starts with the death of a much-loathed character and ends with the decapitation of another, well...I'm pretty sure Bob Guza is never deleting this episode from his DVR. "That's what Franco's art exhibit was missing," he's thinking to himself glumly. "Thick bursts of blood and a decapitated head on a hamster wheel. That's art."
Figuring that they may as well end her character on a high note, the show followed up Lorena's few minutes of being sympathetic and tolerable last week by having Sookie stake the hell out of her. The tiresome cow was killed off even before the opening credits! I knew then that we were in for an hour forty or so minutes of blood, bloody sweat and bloody tears.
Sookie: You wouldn't know love if it kicked you in the fangs!
Then there was a blood Niagara.
Tara, who is continuing to kick ass and take names, and Alcide, who is continuing to be all sorts of handsome, came in to get Sookie and, eventually, Debbie "Trash" Pelt came in, brandishing a gun, and she and Alcide exchanged words and, long story short, Alcide got the gun and wound up killing Cooter. I always found myself more amused by Cooter than I had any right to be. I think it's because of his now-classic line "You're about to get deader. Dead-ass motherfucker". Why does life present so few opportunities to use a line like that in casual conversation?!
Debbie, predictably, did not react well to Cooter's death and promised to hunt Alcide down (he reacted mostly blankly. Oh, Joe Manganiello and your 6'5" frame of hotness.), because the second half of the season needs a new villain now that Lorena is gone and her skank-ass fits the bill nicely.
"You sure picked a dumbass time to call me a bitch, bitch". She's got the soul of a poet.
The last death of the episode: the magister, who had been relishing torturing Pam. Pam, it must be noted, is fierce and fabulous even while being brutally tortured, purring "How did you know I was a Tiffany's girl?" at his "present" of sterling silver earrings that he wanted to put through her eyelids. Russell, tightly wound and unstable at the best of times, did not respond well when the magister kept invoking the name of a higher authority and...well:
2.) Ha, a little.
3.) I am curious to know more about the hierarchy of vampire power, like who the "authority" is.
A secondary theme of the episode was "What the fucking hell is this?"
So Sookie was in a coma, because Bill attacked her and drank most of her blood (which, interestingly, allowed him to go out in the sun without crisping) and she can't get a blood transfusion because she has no blood type (the plot thickens) and then (wait, I feel like we were cheated out of a scene of Eric realizing that Sookie was in danger. I know he's playing a role who is playing a role who is playing an uncomfortably flirtatious role with Russell and Co., but a quick glimpse of him "feeling" Sookie--not like that. Although he DID feel Hadley like that--would have been nice) (although since Hadley presumably spilled the beans and told him about Sookie, maybe he figured he needn't be concerned about her?) a trip to the land of...nymphs? Fairies?
The amount of secondhand embarrassment I had while watching this scene was palpable. I was literally squirming. THERE WAS FROLICKING.
On the plus side, we did learn that Sookie and Jason's parents weren't killed by water, so that's...not enough to make up for the awkward, actually. I am trying to have faith in Alan Ball; I don't want this to become ANOTHER show that I am embarrassed to talk about in front of people.
Also, when Sookie came back from fairy land, she was, um, not so happy to see Bill.
So that's interesting, although I am assuming it will be short-lived.
(Also interesting, how difficult it was for me to screencap the fairy world! It was like my computer was trying to protect itself from having to store those cheesy images by just refusing to cooperate. I know my computer doesn't actually have a mind of its own, but sometimes I wonder...)
Jason's star-crossed love affair with Crystal continues to bore, but his attempt at dealing with depression that he didn't know his tiny mind was capable of feeling was hilarious. Ryan Kwanten is seriously underrated, folks. It takes a lot to pull off that much stupid, and to do it without your accent veering into "Oscar from The Office tries to talk like he's from Savannah" territory, let alone not letting your natural accent come out, is impressive.
I love that Hoyt is the brains of their operation, suggesting that Jason should go to the meth dealer in lockup and fish for information about Crystal. Who, it must be said, he had a good point about:
Hoyt: She's from Hotshot. She was probably named after the drug that keeps the whole town afloat.
I mean, really. The amount that I do not care about Crystal cannot be described using English words.
I also loved that you could see Hoyt visibly lose his will to live while Summer was nattering and planning their future.
I'm with you there, boy. And not just because Hoyt and Jessica are 2Cute2B4Gotten, but because Summer irks.
Other assorted thoughts:
*As mentioned above, Tara is on a rampage of awesome, completely obliterating memories of season two. She overpowered Debbie and then, when she realized what Bill did to Sookie, completely lost it.
Alcide: It's still light out. If you open it--
Tara: You think I give a fuck?!
Bill: What happened?
Tara: You fucking asking me?
Alcide: We got to get her to a hospital.
Tara: Get out.
Bill: But I can help--
Tara: GET OUUUUUUT.
(A more realistic transcription of her "out" would probably include a lot more u's, actually, but you know what I mean)
And then she literally kicked him out of the van.
It was amazing.
I give Rutina Wesley and her accent a lot of grief, but I have to say, she's completely in her element when she's being strong and awesome.
*The dog fighting was upsetting (that pile of bodies! Ugh!), but Sam played hero, setting the dogs free and taking a stand against his awful parents by saving his brother's life.
Tommy has grown on me tremendously since his first couple of episodes, where he could best be described as "a little shit" and, you know...tried to kill Sam. But it was sweet to watch his obvious admiration for Sam when Sam was oh-so-wonderfully telling off the vile Joe Lee.
Sam: For the life of me, I can't understand the power you've got over these people. Because I see you for what you are. Just a sad man in saggy underpants.
Point Sam, because seriously.
I am hoping against hope that this is the last of Melinda and Joe Lee, but I doubt it.
* How Lafayette deals with hospital policy: "Go somewhere else to find someone else's organs to harvest or some shit".
* I loved the uncomfortable air kiss that marked the union of the King and Queen, and Pam's "Congrats". Granted, I love everything about Pam, so...
* I am assuming that Franklin is off recovering from nearly having his head bashed in and using the time off to think of hilarious things to say, and that is why this was a regrettably Franklin-free episode.
* Maybe Denis O'Hare's genius is rubbing off on Evan Rachel Wood, because Sophie-Anne was pretty okay tonight. The overacting was kept to a minimum and she pronounced normal words the way that they are supposed to be pronounced, with no bizarre inflection or enunciation. So cheers to that. Also, pretty.
(Why is she with Marilyn Manson, again? There's a short interview with her in the latest Marie Claire, and she talks about how she's lucky that she can get makeup tips from him. Not the kind of thing you're supposed to be bragging about, honey)
Also, gave us an amusing "...WTF?" face.
*Let me gush a bit more over Denis O'Hare. I am terrified and perplexed by Russell and his evil scheme for world domination, but I love him, as much as it's possible to love someone who used to hobnob with Hitler. He has a pitch perfect blend of malice, ruthlessness, crazy and humor. He's not TOO campy, he's not TOO evil. He's just amazing.
On Fangtasia: Love the place. Love your vibe. We must start franchising later.
To the magister: Perhaps you have not quite grasped the subtext of our earlier exchange, but there is a new fucking authority in town!
Sophie-Anne: Can we hurry this along? I'm getting cold feet.
Russell: Of course, my little puddin'.
I want him on-screen, always. On every show I watch.