Sucks So Good: True Blood 3.8, "Night on the Sun"
How is it possible that there are only four episodes left of True Blood this season?! It's a few weeks away, but I can already see the Alexander Skarsgard shaped hole (so, a huge, very pretty hole) this is going to leave in my heart.
After the jump, thoughts about "Night on the Sun"!
Okay, so, CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE LAST FEW MINUTES? I think my eyes were actually bugging out of my head from excitement. And then I had to pop them back in and shut my eyes, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Let's begin with Eric and Talbot, who were playing chess after Eric so kindly/cunningly offered to keep Talbot company after Talbot threw one of his patented hissyfits
Talbot: Go ahead, leave like you've been doing for centuries while I sit here alone.
Russell: In a giant mansion with all the blood you can drink and all the vampire boys you could possibly want. Oh, poor Talbot. Are your diamond slippers chafing?
I love Denis O'Hare. And Theo Alexander!
Anyway, they play chess and Talbot gets bored, which I know because he says "I'm bored. Take off your clothes". And he does and...it is awesome.
Then Jason goes to Hotshot to confront Crystal's family, and it is mostly boring except that he walks in on a naked hillbilly drinking an animal's blood and then he has words with Crystal's father that you likely aren't interested in.
Back at Sookie's, she is waiting with her gun for Russell and his wolves to come get her, and wolves do come, with trash master Debbie Pelt, who I find INFINITELY amusing. She busts open the door and the wolves trot in...and find Bill and Jessica waiting for them. Jessica gives one a friendly wave, and it is adorable.
Debbie gleefully goes upstairs to find Sookie, kicks her door in and they proceed to have a knockdown, dragout fight that is made even better by Debbie's 1987 mallrat hair and her hilarity.
Debbie: Wow. Talking to me about love, all noble and shit. Bitch, please.
Yes! Earlier in the episode, Russell also voiced his amusement with her:
Debbie: I'll rip their fucking heads off.
Russell: Hahaha! I like your energy!
Anyway, punches are thrown and Bill hears the ruckus after he finishes off a werewolf. But when he starts to help, Jessica chases a werewolf outside and is intercepted by Russell, who calls Bill sexist when Bill asks to settle this between men (heh). Bill then psychoanlyzes Russell hiding behind guards and baby vampires and wonders if he's a coward or lazy. Russell tosses Jess away and pushes his stylish silver spurs into Bill's face.
Upstairs, mirrors are being broken and Debbie's face is getting slashed by a stray pair if scissors.
Back in Jackson, while Russell is still playing with Bill, Eric is, um, playing with Talbot in a naked manner.
He suggests that Talbot turn over, which he readily does, and then! THEN!
Eric: Russell took my family. Now I take his.
AND STAKES TALBOT! TALBOT!
Russell feels this and screams, and then immediately flies away (an effect that always makes me chuckle, I have to say).
Sookie screams at Debbie "Get out of my house, bitch!" all promo-style
Debbie jumps out the window and runs away.
Also, Hoyt cries in his truck and drives right near Jessica while she's drinking Don Swayze's blood, as you do.
Then Bill comes inside and the two kinky mothereffers have sex amidst the debris on Sookie's floor. WHAT THE HELL? It was all action packed and awesome, and fun and then...squick.
Other thoughts and observations:
* Sookie and Bill's pre-credits breakup was nicely done by Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer (who, I have to say, is looking much better this season. The makeup department finally figured out a foundation tone that wasn't gruesome!), and Bill's emo, bloody tears. Imagine what an impact it would have had if it had lasted more than fifty minutes!
* Eric masterfully played Russell when Russell questioned how trustworthy he was. When he told Russell that he's finally found a leader who inspired him, you could see Russell's ego getting puffed up and how difficult it was for Eric to choke out words about Godric being weak. Alexander Skarsgard has been really good at playing Eric as a kiss-ass and Eric as a man out for revenge.
I found it hilarious that when he dropped to his knees, he was roughly Russell's size.
* I loved this exchange:
Russell: I'm afraid I acted somewhat impulsively when I was gone.
Talbot: What did you do? Spit it out.
Russell: I killed the magister. (Defensively) He deserved it.
* I can't believe that Sam's mother, after he discovered the family's sordid dog-fighting secret and confronted them for being the awful human beings that they are, had the nerve to freeload off of him one more time and then tell him that the money he gave her wasn't enough to get them "far".
Sam: I don't give a fuck where you get as long as it's out of here.
Well said, Mr. Merlotte.
I wasn't so fond of Tommy trying to start things with Hoyt, as Hoyt is adorable, but it seems like he's itching for a fight, judging by how fast he attempted to intervene when Crystal's father and fiance(/brother? I get the feeling Eric was not far off when he deemed them brother-cousins) started sniffing around Merlottes and making snide comments about shifters (related: I get profound secondhand embarrassment when people on this show start sniffing. Remember when Sam went to Dawn's and was rolling around smelling her sheets? Uncomfortable). Which means that they and Crystal are...? I mean, besides uninteresting.
* Seriously, Crystal and Jason are SO BORING. Their instant connection and his protectiveness are just...ugh. Whenever a Jason scene comes on this season, I use it as an opportunity to check and see if I've gotten any texts, even though my phone chimes super loudly whenever I get texted, so it's completely pointless but STILL more interesting than this. Which is sad, because Jason was appointment television in season two! I did love his allusion to the Fellowship of the Sun and his assertion that "they washed [his] brain".
* I seriously hope that this is not the last we see of Alcide this season.
Not because that sight is a bad sight to end things on, because it's not. So pretty! And his arms, my goodness. There was a line in a book I read recently where a girl thought to herself that a guy's arms looked like Chunky soup cans, and it immediately popped into my head.
But it was kind of a rushed exit, no? I do believe that Joe Manganiello is going to be a regular in season four, which I will probably be excited about in a million years when season four rolls around, so that's something to look forward to. I feel like there is potential with him and Tara, who deserves to have some sort of a functional relationship. Speaking of!
* Tara learned that drinking vampire blood doesn't just make a person extremely strong: it also makes a person have vivid sexual dreams about that vampire, which is always kind of awkward. Although Tara's masturbation/shower sex dream doesn't compare to the grand awkwardness that was Sookie touching herself on Bill's doorstep in season one...
* That aside, Tara continued to be reasonable and sort of awesome for the second week in a row! She attempted to be a voice of reason with Sookie:
Tara: You know what you sound like? One of those sad country songs by dumb bitches who let their men cheat and beat on them for the sake of true love.
Sookie: Did you just call me a dumb bitch?
Tara: I'm sorry, but if you go back to that vampire, that's what you are.
That went over about as well as you thought it would, so Tara went on to Plan B: distract Sookie with a hot man.
Tara: Maybe you can flirt some sense into that girl, because logic isn't working.
* I know that Sookie loves her grandmother and that her house is probably filled with very wonderful memories, but considering that her grandmother was murdered there, a maenad moved in and hosted all sorts of horrible orgies there, and she came under attack by werewolves and the vengeance-seeking Debbie, I think she may want to think about putting it on the market.
* Holly is the new Merlotte's waitress, so she is either going to wind up (a) dead or (b) supernatural in some way or (c) both. I am leaning towards (b) or (c), since she correctly guessed that Arlene is pregnant and seems...weird.
* This episode--nay, this season!--did not feature enough Terry, but the brief snippet we did get was, as ever, adorable, and proof that he is way, way too good for Arlene. This paternity lie is only going to end in heartbreak for Terry and Arlene, and Coby and Lisa, who are going to be confused at yet again adapting to a new dad...
Arlene's nightmare about Rene and his fake Cajun accent ("Rene"/Drew Marshall is much better at pulling off accents than, oh, half of the True Blood cast) was delightfully creepy, wasn't it?
"I'm his blood, bitch".
* I loved all of Bill and Jessica's scenes. I'm glad she called him out on being such a shitty maker, I loved the "How To Fend Off a Werewolf" training session, and it was so sweet that they bonded over their broken hearts.
Bill: Jessica, it's over.
Jessica: No way.
* Alfre Woodard is the greatest.
* Sookie's Bill and Sookie scrapbook was probably the saddest thing I have ever seen. How seventh grade! And for there to only be one picture in there!
Seriously, though: I CANNOT EVEN WAIT for next week's episode. Russell's rage is going to be epic and entertaining, and judging by the previews, Bill is going to tell Sookie what she is. I hope that's not just a tease! She deserves to know what Hadley knows about her that got the Queen so interested! And Nan Flanagan is pretty much shorthand for good times. CANNOT EVEN WAIT!