A Good Man Is Hard To Find
It seems as though an All My Children writer caught an episode of General Hospital in which the fawning over Jason was at a fever pitch. "Oh, you think that's propping?", the AMC writer may have scoffed. "I'll show you propping. I'll prop like propping's never been propped before!", adding a decisive "PROP!" for good measure.
How else can you explain today's episode of AMC, which should have been titled "goodRyangoodIsgoodAgoodGoodgoodMan".
Tad: You're different...that moral compass of yours would point you right straight to prison.
Madison: Greenlee says it's the hero thing. That's part of what makes Ryan so attractive.
Madison: His bravery and his selflessness is part of what makes Ryan such an amazing man.
Tad: Ryan Lavery is a good man. He's got friends, he's got family, and Hayward is Hayward. If you ask me, the real crime would be letting Ryan go to prison for doing something like that.
Liza: You don't know how much this is absolutely killing me, to go after one of the finest men in this town.
The only thing less subtle would be a lavish musical number with feathers, and jazz hands, and background singers shimmying while holding signs saying "Ryan Is A Good Man!"
And to think I had been almost not dreading this episode, thanks to this intriguing description on my DVR!
The mystery of the secret drawer's contents continue.
Does that sound like the blurb for a particularly awesome Nancy Drew book or what? Well, the more accurate DVR descrition would have read OMG, VOMIT.
Aside from the extreme Ryan-propping, this episode featured another of my least favorite recurring elements: the unbearable toolishness of the Martin brothers.
Tad spent much of the episode attempting to guilt Liza for her role in investigating David's death, threatening to conveniently lose any information that could link Ryan to David's death and bringing up a story we all try so hard to forget.
Tad: If I had done something like this, disposed of someone like Hayward, it would be tough, but I could find a way to live with it.
Um, it's kind of not an "if" situation, Tad. I know no one in Pine Valley knows that, but I do, and it annoys me.
Jake is an even bigger jerk, though. He can hate David all he wants, but angrily ripping up David's "suicide letter"* that so obviously moved Amanda was a total dick move.
Amanda: Trevor, that's where I saw it, Jake. That he had a heart. Look, I don't know why he did what he did, but Greenlee is right. This letter is a gift to our family.
Jake: You don't really believe that, do you?
Amanda: He didn't have to write it.
Jake: He didn't have to do a lot of things. He didn't have to try to have you bear his children. Do you remember that? I remember that. He did not have a heart.
Amanda: Jake, don't do that, it's disrespectful.
Jake: Disrespectful? You know how I respect? Whoever got rid of David. THAT's who I respect.
The fact that Ricky Paull Goldin currently looks like a used car salesman circa 1976 is not helping things.
(*I think we can all agree that these letters are completely bogus and were written by Greenlee, right? Because there is no way the story can wrap up that easily.)
(The scene at the very end of the episode, where Greenlee curled up with a blanket and said, "Forgive me?", was the best acting Rebecca Budig has done lately. For the past few weeks, she has just been...off. And I say that as someone who adores her! But today she was quite good).
Also in Pine Valley...
- Kendall's freaking out over how to tell Zach that she was arrested is humorous, because Alicia Minshew sells the neurotic rambling
Kendall: What am I supposed to say? "Hi, honey. Things are going great here. I'm hanging out at Fusion, hanging out with my friends and, oh, I have some felony charges against me, too. Isn't that great? Oh, why, you ask? Because I was helping out Ryan and Greenlee, you know? That's what I always do, I know that makes you so happy, it's why we left Pine Valley in the first place but hey, things happen!
But COME ON. Zach totally knows this already! Delaying the inevitable will only lead to problems down the road!
- Frankie and Randi had sex in a hospital bed, which is disturbing, and then they talked about her getting pregnant at the same time as his mother, which is equally disturbing, but Denise Vasi was so distracting. I am like a broken record on this subject, but she is just SO BAD. She should start a rumor that she's really a robot, because then her lifelessness would at least be expected.
- Madison: I know I don't have the same history with Ryan that Greenlee has. They're just like this myth, you know?
Less a myth and more an epic tragedy, Mads.