Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
I treated myself to an iced coffee today and when I attempted to pay, I had an embarrassingly long moment of mental...blankness. It was like being in high school and having no idea what your locker combination was; I seriously had no idea how to count out change. It was terrible, and the barista was obviously concerned for me, all the more so when I attempted to make light of the situation by labeling it a blonde moment, which was problematic since I am a brunette. I finally settled for giving her an extra dollar, mumbled something about keeping the change and then fled.
It was obvious to me at that point that something had happened to my brain and I had two theories. Theory #1: I am over tired, thanks to problems sleeping and a pesky internal alarm clock that has me up early no matter what. Theory #2: My brain cells heard this exchange on All My Children and said, "You know, we've had a good run, but we can't work under these conditions anymore".
Madison: You're an honorable man, Ryan. You tried to push me away to protect me, to spare me from everything you're going through. I don't want to be spared. I want to be in this with you. [...] What makes me happy is you. Your smile, your eyes, the way your hand feels in mine...I'm not going to let that go, so if this goes to trial, I will be in that courtroom every day. Sorry, Lavery. You're not going to get rid of me.
I was going to dissect that piece by piece, with a line for every part of that lunacy that gave me pause, but then I realized that there would be a footnote following every single word! How sickeningly sweet and middle school, and for that to be directed at Ryan Lavery, whose status as THE WORST is acknowledged by all, makes it all the more horrendous.
Not like it's the only horrendous thing that went down in Pine Valley today...
So, Greenlee confessed most of her misdeeds to Kendall and Bianca today. I especially liked how she made it seem like David purposefully caused Erica's plane to crash, when we all know that wasn't the case, but I guess she figured she had a better chance at forgiveness if her kind of bad acts were compared to David's super bad ones. And I especially especially liked how the confession came after the evidence was destroyed! But I digress. This had potential to be incredibly great and yet...it fell flat.
Kendall: All this time, I've been helping you get away from David, convincing myself that you had nothing to do with that plane crash because no matter how much you hated my mother, I never believed you'd help David actually kill her.
Greenlee: It all got so out of hand.
Bianca: Out of hand? We thought she was DEAD. Uncle Jack searched the woods for her BODY. My children had NIGHTMARES.
Greenlee: I never meant to hurt Erica.
Kendall: You meant to send her to prison.
Kendall: Then just ruin her reputation? You could have destroyed our company. Everything we have worked so hard for.
Greenlee: I was sick about it! I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep--
Kendall: Okay, but you could save yourself and you could protect your husband the man who tried to kill her.
Greenlee: I finally told Ryan.
Bianca: Oh, you only told enough to ease your guilty conscience.
Kendall: Before I burned that evidence, you thanked me for believing that you would never hurt my mother.
Greenlee: I didn't do it on purpose.
Kendall: Okay, but all you did care about was saving yourself and David.
Greenlee: He saved my life!
Kendall: I am so sick and tired of hearing that!
Greenlee: When I woke up, everything I cared about was gone. Everybody had moved on and forgotten me. I felt so alone except for David. He was there for me, he held my hand. But the choices we made...we weren't good together and he just couldn't accept that. Why couldn't he accept that?
Kendall: Because he was David and you should have known better. Greenlee, we have been friends a very long time and I have forgiven you a lot, but this--
Greenlee: Kendall, please.
Kendall: No. I risked my freedom for you. I risked your marriage. My son's father, he's in prison.
It was just such a weird scene. Rebecca Budig, who I usually adore to no end, barely seemed to be trying, and that stood in stark contrast to Christina Bennett Lind, who is back to her whole "I am going to ENUNCIATE everything. Listen to me LINGER on all of my CONSONANTS and sometimes SHOUT!" and it was incredibly distracting.
Ignoring the performances of the actresses involved, though, this was a pretty bombshell confession, no? No, actually, it wasn't, guys. Not according to Bianca, anyway:
Bianca: What you just admitted is huge, okay, but we can't deal with that right now. Our only focus is getting Ryan out of jail and keeping Kendall from going back there.
Also under the "Effing!" umbrella: Kendall and her effing terrible decisions.
Kendall: Zach, wait. There's something that I have to tell you. It's...Spike. He's just having such a good time in Pine Valley that he wants to stay a little bit longer. I hope that's okay.
KENDALL! I know admitting the truth about helping Ryan and getting arrested wouldn't be a fun conversation to have but honestly. Like Zach isn't going to find out about this. And like if he DOES find out, he's going to be totally cool with it. UGH, I hate the way her brain works sometimes.
AJ: Is he in heaven?
Marissa: Is who in heaven, sweetie?
AJ: Grandpa David.
Krystal: Why do you ask?
AJ: Because a kid at school told me he was a bad man.
I mean, I guess AJ is a special case, since his Grandpa David probably appears on posters plastered all over Pine Valley saying things like "Have you seen this evil man? He is EVIL!", but when I was in elementary school, my heaviest conversations were about what outfits and accessories to get for my American Girl dolls and whether it would be hugely inappropriate to get a Kirsten dress for Samantha. The times they are a-changing!
Also, Asher continues to exist which...so uninteresting.