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« Sucks So Good: True Blood 3.12, "Evil Is Going On" | Main | Marking Her Territory, Hilariously »

September 13, 2010

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

I treated myself to an iced coffee today and when I attempted to pay, I had an embarrassingly long moment of mental...blankness. It was like being in high school and having no idea what your locker combination was; I seriously had no idea how to count out change. It was terrible, and the barista was obviously concerned for me, all the more so when I attempted to make light of the situation by labeling it a blonde moment, which was problematic since I am a brunette. I finally settled for giving her an extra dollar, mumbled something about keeping the change and then fled.

It was obvious to me at that point that something had happened to my brain and I had two theories. Theory #1: I am over tired, thanks to problems sleeping and a pesky internal alarm clock that has me up early no matter what. Theory #2: My brain cells heard this exchange on All My Children and said, "You know, we've had a good run, but we can't work under these conditions anymore".

Madison: You're an honorable man, Ryan. You tried to push me away to protect me, to spare me from everything you're going through. I don't want to be spared. I want to be in this with you. [...] What makes me happy is you. Your smile, your eyes, the way your hand feels in mine...I'm not going to let that go, so if this goes to trial, I will be in that courtroom every day. Sorry, Lavery. You're not going to get rid of me.

I was going to dissect that piece by piece, with a line for every part of that lunacy that gave me pause, but then I realized that there would be a footnote following every single word! How sickeningly sweet and middle school, and for that to be directed at Ryan Lavery, whose status as THE WORST is acknowledged by all, makes it all the more horrendous.

Not like it's the only horrendous thing that went down in Pine Valley today...

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So, Greenlee confessed most of her misdeeds to Kendall and Bianca today. I especially liked how she made it seem like David purposefully caused Erica's plane to crash, when we all know that wasn't the case, but I guess she figured she had a better chance at forgiveness if her kind of bad acts were compared to David's super bad ones. And I especially especially liked how the confession came after the evidence was destroyed! But I digress. This had potential to be incredibly great and yet...it fell flat.

Kendall: All this time, I've been helping you get away from David, convincing myself that you had nothing to do with that plane crash because no matter how much you hated my mother, I never believed you'd help David actually kill her.
Greenlee: It all got so out of hand.
Bianca: Out of hand? We thought she was DEAD. Uncle Jack searched the woods for her BODY. My children had NIGHTMARES.
Greenlee: I never meant to hurt Erica.
Kendall: You meant to send her to prison.
Greenlee: No.
Kendall: Then just ruin her reputation? You could have destroyed our company. Everything we have worked so hard for.
Greenlee: I was sick about it! I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep--
Kendall: Okay, but you could save yourself and you could protect your husband the man who tried to kill her.
Greenlee: I finally told Ryan.
Bianca: Oh, you only told enough to ease your guilty conscience.
Kendall: Before I burned that evidence, you thanked me for believing that you would never hurt my mother.
Greenlee: I didn't do it on purpose.
Kendall: Okay, but all you did care about was saving yourself and David.
Greenlee: He saved my life!
Kendall: I am so sick and tired of hearing that!
Greenlee: When I woke up, everything I cared about was gone. Everybody had moved on and forgotten me. I felt so alone except for David. He was there for me, he held my hand. But the choices we made...we weren't good together and he just couldn't accept that. Why couldn't he accept that?
Kendall: Because he was David and you should have known better. Greenlee, we have been friends a very long time and I have forgiven you a lot, but this--
Greenlee: Kendall, please.
Kendall: No. I risked my freedom for you. I risked your marriage. My son's father, he's in prison.

It was just such a weird scene. Rebecca Budig, who I usually adore to no end, barely seemed to be trying, and that stood in stark contrast to Christina Bennett Lind, who is back to her whole "I am going to ENUNCIATE everything. Listen to me LINGER on all of my CONSONANTS and sometimes SHOUT!" and it was incredibly distracting.

Ignoring the performances of the actresses involved, though, this was a pretty bombshell confession, no? No, actually, it wasn't, guys. Not according to Bianca, anyway:

Bianca: What you just admitted is huge, okay, but we can't deal with that right now. Our only focus is getting Ryan out of jail and keeping Kendall from going back there.

Effing Ryan!

Also under the "Effing!" umbrella: Kendall and her effing terrible decisions.

Kendall: Zach, wait. There's something that I have to tell you. It's...Spike. He's just having such a good time in Pine Valley that he wants to stay a little bit longer. I hope that's okay.

KENDALL! I know admitting the truth about helping Ryan and getting arrested wouldn't be a fun conversation to have but honestly. Like Zach isn't going to find out about this. And like if he DOES find out, he's going to be totally cool with it. UGH, I hate the way her brain works sometimes.

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AJ: Is he in heaven?
Marissa: Is who in heaven, sweetie?
AJ: Grandpa David.
Krystal: Why do you ask?
AJ: Because a kid at school told me he was a bad man.

I mean, I guess AJ is a special case, since his Grandpa David probably appears on posters plastered all over Pine Valley saying things like "Have you seen this evil man? He is EVIL!", but when I was in elementary school, my heaviest conversations were about what outfits and accessories to get for my American Girl dolls and whether it would be hugely inappropriate to get a Kirsten dress for Samantha. The times they are a-changing!

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Also, Asher continues to exist which...so uninteresting.

Comments

Times a-changing indeed. How sad is it that BOTH Samantha and Kirsten are discontinued!!??

^^^
WHAT?? D:

I know its absurd to even think this BUT I do not understand why no one has ever said to Greenlee: 'David's idea of not telling anyone you were alive let people who loved you believe you were dead; his excuse for lying was he didnt want to give them hope when he wasnt sure you'd pull through' .. think, think, think about how truly ridiculous that is .. your family/friends mourned and moved on because he let them think you were dead - if he hadnt lied, they wouldnt have moved on .. '

I know. I said it was absurd to try rational thought when talking AMC

The show sure managed to make Madison boring, didn't it? She really did sound like an eighth grader talking about her crush du jour. Isn't she supposed to be around thirty?

"Times a-changing indeed. How sad is it that BOTH Samantha and Kirsten are discontinued!!??"

Extremely sad, Tim. Kirsten is my girl!

While we're on the topic, someone explain to me like I'm eight (which is how old I should be to actually care about this) how freaking Julie gets a movie before Kirsten and Addy? WTF American Girl?!

What? AMC? Oh...yeah. Ryan is totally the worst.

I hate Ryan. The only thing that might make him worth watching is if they make his aneurism change his personality and make him evil. Now that David AND Adam are gone they need a bad guy. Wouldn't it be great to see Ryan running around town doing big evil, but no one suspects him because he's Ryan and everyone knows that Ryan is a "great guy" ?

"Theory #2: My brain cells heard this exchange on All My Children and said, "You know, we've had a good run, but we can't work under these conditions anymore"."

Best one-liner EVER!

I have never ever (In fact this particular line of reasoning is one of dozens of reasons I barely watch!) understood why Greenlee is whining about how everyone moved on when you die. Is she really that arrogant? Did she think that everyone was supposed to pause on their life? Seriously?!?!

I haven't been a Greenlee fan since 2007 so I could of cared less that she died. For the people that loved her, they did not just not stop thinking about her. Also I wonder who she would feel if Leo turned up alive and did the same thing to her. (I always found the Greenlee/David pairing to be a tad disturbing.)

As for Asher? I don't think anyone cares. He hasn't really done anything interesting or remarkable. I don't think that the kid can act. I'm assuming that he's either the hispanic kid that's supposed to be Adam's other son who took the money and ran instead of giving JR his bone marrow. Or he's Caleb's kid. Either way I could care less. He's a newbie and is wasting screen time.

My cousin recommended this blog and she was totally right keep up the fantastic work!

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