Sundays In The Park With Nutbar
This show makes so many mistakes, in epic ways and on a daily basis, and really, this is not the biggest mistake that they have made lately. It probably isn't even in the top ten. But it IS on my mind at the moment: General Hospital dropped the ball so badly by not letting Lisa Niles reside at 1313 Whackadoo Lane much earlier. Because she continues to delight me as a crazy person and now I feel guilty about all of the times I complained about Brianna Brown's lack of charisma. I sort of want to write her an apology note! She's not uncharismatic; she's actually unnervingly good at playing a weirdo. Perhaps I'll leave that part out of the apology note...
I mean, if you think about it for more than thirty seconds, it becomes harder to unabashedly enjoy Patrick, Robin and Lisa starring--no, starring's not the right word. People not in mob stories aren't allowed to "star" in anything on this show. Okay, revision: it becomes harder to unabashedly enjoy Patrick, Robin and Lisa being afforded a random amount of screentime every week to appear in Bob Guza's version of Fatal Attraction (the latest in his ongoing series "This one time, I saw an old movie on TBS while I was flicking the channels and I thought 'We could do that better. And more Jason Morgan-y, too'"). Because watching these scenes makes me think things like, "This would be even better if they...." or "It doesn't really make sense that she..." or "Wouldn't it have been better if..." and so on and so forth.
The answer, then, is just to stop thinking. Because I need this story, you guys. I cling to this story like I'm drowning in the sea of despair that is General Hospital and it is a crazy-eyed life jacket. It is what gives me the will to fast forward all things Sonny and make it through the pointless (pointless SQUARED, even) Nikolas and Brook Lynn thing (REALLY, was there nothing else deserving of that screentime?). It makes me cackle like Vanessa Marcil.
Lisa: Okay, as usual, Robin, you are completely overreacting, all right? You see that big building over there? It's General Hospital. It's where I work, and sometimes I've been known to take breaks and walk through the park to get a lemon ice. All right? I heard raised voices. I became concerned. I came over. I took a look, and what do I find? You making a spectacle of yourself again. (Sotto voce) It's so unattractive.
Lisa: Okay, people, clearly my presence isn't helping, so I am going to go. Can I get either of you a lemon ice? Okay. I guess not.
Besides being hilarious, this pleasant offer of a lemon ice is notable for the epic "WTF?" face that Kimberly McCullough debuted. It may rival even Becky Herbst!