A Cornucopia of Adults
First, the apologies. There's been radio silence on the OLTL front lately because my home internet was down for a week. It's been restored, but it did take me a day or two to get over being lost and frightened and confused. And then there's the baseball, which is currently providing me little joy but requiring much attention. So imagine my surprise amidst my delirium when I watched Tuesday's episode. Llanview must've had something in its drinking water yesterday, because the weirdest thing happened on One Life to Live.
Viki! (May we assume that the little insert was due to Erika Slezak herself having a skin cancer removed? Queen Slezak, we're glad you're well!)
Due to the other characters in play, it still set the median age for the episode somewhere in the 30s, but it was a delight regardless. People over 25, having stories about people over 25!
- Why did it take the writers this long to realize that scenes between Dorian and Viki should capitalize on their decades of incredibly rich character history, and that it's better when they're not bickering like children?
- Why do we only see Ilene Kristen about as frequently as a smile from John McBain or Todd Manning?
- Were we supposed to feel sorry for Ford on Monday when Clint had his goons beat him up for what Ford did to Clint's daughter? (I'm on record as being in the "No, Ford didn't rape Jessica" camp, so while I'd say that he certainly doesn't deserve a prison sentence, what he did was still disgusting and a nice beatdown is sometimes appropriate; but wait, wait, I never condone violence or... something.)
- Why was Starr more interested in keeping Hope in the attic as long as there were diapers and water than having Hope returned to the "world" where she could get proper care? Couldn't Hannah just concoct some story about how she rescued Hope, thereby being Cole's hero? And then Hope would be safe? Isn't that preferable?
- Why do people refer to Rex as a "good" private detective?
- Do "world-famous" photographers really just take 5x7 snapshots, have them developed at the local Fotomat, and carry them around to show off their phenomenal skills at... taking basic snapshots?
- Why Gigi's hair and makeup, why? Why?
- Why did Dani and Tea spend more time recapping and reuniting than, say, untying Tea and escaping?
- Why am I kind of rooting for Hannah in this whole Hannah-against-Starr scenario?
- Why did they have to insert Rex into the big vets' story?
- When will the use of "Chuckles" be retired?
- Can they please keep using flashbacks from the 80s?
That's all I got. Inquiring minds want to know.