Close the Deal, Eli!
Oh, was that not what we were supposed to yell out at the end of today's show when Eli pointed a loaded gun at Todd? I get easily confused.
So today Ross finally found out that Eli isn't just his deeply flawed but loyal brother -- he in fact had Tea "killed" and had no intention of letting Ross keep his beloved daughter Dani. In fact, Ross had enlisted Eli long ago to help him get custody back, and the only solution Eli could think of was to kill of Tea, give Dani to Ross, make Todd buy Dani back, and kill Ross. Obviously. Even though Evil Eli is all-knowing and all-seeing and totally, totally magic, this was the only solution.
But it didn't work out, so naturally he shot his brother. Conveniently it was on a dock near the water.
Poor Li'l Ross. Betrayed and shot by his own brother! And then tossed in the water.
Gone forever! I mean, of course in that soap opera way of being "gone," meaning Totally Not Dead, or at least they haven't decided yet if they want to bring back the character so they're leaving it open-ended.
Of course it was crumbs, but I did appreciate that Ross "left" as not a completely evil guy. He just wanted his daughter back, just like Todd. Right? (I don't know. I got a private message from a viewer the other day informing me that everything bad that's currently happening to anyone on this show is completely Blair's fault, so I don't know a damn thing, apparently, since that doesn't make a lick of sense to me.)
Oh but then! Todd showed up and Eli pointed the gun at him, hotly.
Do it, Eli, do it! Pull the trigger, close the deal!
Yeah, I know. I'm not new. Todd will win, because he is such a complex anti-hero. Cough, cough.
Meanwhile, stupid people did stupid things all around town. Spectacularly, while Starr was pretending that she'd been keeping Ford-the-Middle's bullet-on-a-chain, the show actually leadenly winked at us that her argument to Natalie could apply just as easily to the possibility that Natalie is carrying her sister's fiance's child. No, really!
Starr: Well yeah mean not all the time... it just... sort of... happened? I know it sounds weird but have you ever gotten stuck with something of some guy's -- you don't mean to end up with it but you do and you can't just throw it away
Natalie (knowingly, significantly): Yeah, actually I do.
And across town, Natalie's erstwhile rival Marty was leaving her confidential patient files out in the open in the home she now shares with a crazy person.
A banner day in Llanview!