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« Anatomy of a Rivalry (And So On) | Main | Hope REALLY Wants Her Mommy! (And Other Lessons) »

October 31, 2010

On Conflicts and Contrivance

If I were a resident of Port Charles (I normally don't like playing this game of hypotheticals because being a woman in Port Charles in her twenties means that I'd either (a) have slept with Sonny Corinthos or (b) be dead and both of those things bum me out) and had a child, I would never let them out of my sight. I'm talking carrying them around in a Baby Bjorn until they are old enough to enroll in self defense courses, because children in Port Charles wind up kidnapped more often than not and not only that, they wind up kidnapped by nefarious evildoers who have the kind of superhuman speed and reflexes that allow them to lurk undetected outside of coffee shops and steal a child in less than two seconds.

LESS THAN TWO SECONDS.

Really: Emma and Robin go to Kelly's to pick up a coffee and a muffin and after making small talk with Johnny, Ethan, and Michael, start to leave until the waitress calls after Robin that she lost her coffee. While most waitresses would walk the extra ten steps and bring the drink over to the patron who was halfway out the door, this waitress did not, so Robin turned her back for 1.6 seconds and someone (Lisa) dressed just like Robin in a witch costume takes Emma's stroller and makes a break for it, getting a hilarious side-eye from Emma in the process.

Emma"We're going down this road again, bitch? You know, my mom said I can call you a bitch. Bitch."

I love her. I love the fact that she sat in her stroller, completely resigned to the fact that this was happening.Emma1 These people are completely out of ideas, aren't they?

Not that I want her traumatic ordeal to be a long one, because her short life has been one drama after another, but part of me wants her to be missing long enough to warrant posting a Missing Person poster, if only to see the phrase "Last seen wearing a FREAKING ADORABLE lamb costume".

Friday's General Hospital was also notable for: Ronnie finding evidence tying Sonny to the car-bombing that almost took out Johnny AND Kristina! Yay! And then he gave it to...Claire, Sonny's woman of the moment. Well, one of Sonny's women of the moment, at any rate. I was going to refer to her as his "woman of thirty seconds", because that is also a nifty way to theorize that Sonny isn't even a one woman man, but I couldn't figure out how best to phrase it. Anyway, Ronnie: BAD IDEA JEANS! BAD IDEA JEANS! Granted, not nearly as bad idea as that dye job, but STILL.

He was so happy to hand over this evidence, too. Gleeful, even, like he could have just burst into song. He seems like he would tap dance.

Ronnie 
This will only end poorly for you and probably with a grisly demise, Ronnie. Frankly, I am surprised that the only death he has experienced so far is the crushing death of his dream of seeing Sonny incarcerated.

Claire, of course, reacted SMUGLY with WILD OVER-ACTING.

Ronnie: Look, I know you're involved with Sonny. I get it, ok? But, please, please don't bury this.
Claire: I'm not in the habit of suppressing evidence, detective.

Maybe you don't often suppress evidence, Little Miss By-The-Books, but you are in the habit of making terrible life decisions, so maybe dial back the attitude a notch or twelve.

The rest of the show had its ups (Abby and Michael continue to be absurdly sweet. Are we supposed to find them sweet? Do we think that there is something up with Abby, since she didn't want Michael to go with her to get her dry-cleaning, or was it more that she just didn't want a teenager to go with her while cartoon hearts floated around his obviously smitten head?) and downs (um...the rest of it), and I continue to be completely uninterested in The Balkan, and Brenda's relationship to The Balkan and Sam-As-Brenda in an effort to trick The Balkan

Samasbrenda 
which...really doesn't bode well for me, because I am pretty sure that this story is going to drag on until March 2012, at the earliest.

Comments

Ughhh.... So sick of Lisa and her gaslighting of Robin. Why is anyone actually believing that it was coincidence that Lisa showed up at the exact same cabin in which Patrick found Robin in the well after she skipped a surgery to call the patient who loaned her the cabin to verify that someone at GH had called inquiring about the cabin so she ran out of the hospital explaining to Epiphany that she had to "save a friend from making the biggest mistake of his life" and she shows up with a GUN spewing crazy talk.WTF? HATE Guza for dragging this storyline out so he can keep this actress instead of focusing on what should be Scrubs working their way back to each other. I've had it with this loon being able to outsmart everyone because ...you know Lisa is brilliant and everyonelse is too stupid to see her lurking and listening in on conversations, breaking into someone's home or leaving the hospital when she's supposedly doing rounds. This will be the 3rd time that Lisa has used Emma in her quest to get rid of Robin so she can have Patrick and step in as Emma's mommy. This sorta reminds me of the Cole/Starr/Hannah storyline on OLTL except they realized that the delusional Hannah was the bad guy so for sweeps they put end to this stalker and it was satisfying but on GH....nope seems like Guza is looking for a way to redeem the character after she's killed a nurse, drugged Robin and left her in a well to die, stolen HIV medsa and has left a child alone in a crashed car and now on Halloween will leave her alone in the park or someplacelse.

As much as I dislike Sonny I wanted Robin to say, "Yes" when Sonny asked her if she wanted him to intervene.For once in your sleazy life do the right thing Sonny and KILL THIS CRAZY BITCH ALREADY!!!

Robin kind of reminds me of the women I see on the Metro who use their baby strollers - with their babies in them - to block the elevator doors from shutting. Is that what happened here? Was she using Emma's stroller to prop open the door or something?

Exactly how many times is Robin going to wander off and leave her child unattended? Are there even enough trees in Port Charles?

I am done with the character now. I know it is the writers, the awful awful writers, but still. Not even Carly, which is short for careless and stupid, would do something so careless and stupid. Yeah, Carly would probably light a ring of fire around the stroller to make sure no one could steal her baby (again) but you just know that she would drop-kick either Jason or Dante smack in the center so as to not leave the baby unattended.

But no, not Robin. Wander. Wander. Hmmm...coffee.

Lisa's reign over GH and the stupid people who work there (minus Robin and sometimes Patrick) is beyond ridiculous. Why does every character on this show have to look stupid to keep the dumb, blonde doctor? I hate this storyline...give Patrick and Robin a fighting chance before all of us (viewers...ya know...the people who watch your show, buy the products in the commercials...basically the ones who really matter!!) are so fed up that we can give a shit less.

Y'know, if the GH writers wanted to keep the actress who plays Lisa and not have the other characters on the show look clueless, they could have easily went for the good ol' tumor excuse. Lisa pulls a gun on Robin and Patrick, gives her crazy speech, and keels over. Why? Giant brain tumor. Patrick has to operate on the woman who destroyed his life. And afterwards? Lisa calmly blames her behavior on the tumor and claims to be completely sane. But is she? Of course, she could still make the lives of Robin and Patrick hell as a sane character. Lisa could sue Patrick for malpractice when she finds she can no longer operate due to tremors in her hands post-surgery. Or she could claim Robin is creating a hostile work environment. Or she could use guilt as a tool to continue to manipulate Patrick. I'm honestly surprised GH didn't go that route.

CL - I agree with you. That would have been a more interesting story with Lisa and the brain tumor redemption.

I don't think leaving a stroller for less than 2 seconds makes you a bad mother or is the same as leaving a child unattended. It was definitely careless. Any mother will tell you that when you're at a store, restaurant, etc... there are times that you have to turn your back for a few seconds. Kelly's is a neighborhood diner that Robin would think is a safe place. But I do think that Robin should have pulled the stroller back inside with her to grab her coffee.

Plot points be damned.

I just hope that Patrick keeps believing Robin because I have a funny feeling that pretty soon she'll have no one on her side.

Andrea,
I know I shouldn't bring up ancient GH history, but...
Carly just walked away from Michael in his stroller in a public place, and he was kidnapped by a psycho Tony Jones.
So yes, Carly would and did do exactly this.
Because every single mother on GH does exactly this, and experiences exactly the same storyline.
Except maybe Alexis? Did Kristina or Molly get kidnapped as a baby?

Since abandoning this show post 90s hayday (and post "death" of Lucky), I have only been returned to watching this show for a year. And in that year, every single person with a baby has had that baby kidnapped. Carly and Joceline. Aidan and Elizabeth. Robin and Emma three bloody times. That's three mothers and five incidents, in one freakin' year.

This complaint sounds so familiar to me...probably because in this same year when we also complained about the Sonny getting Arrested Storyline having zero dramatic impact now because it gets repeated over and over and over. In the span of six months, it probably gets threatened monthly. And I still can't explain why the actresses who play Lisa and Claire get more screentime than the Quartermaines put together.

Robin/Emma/Lisa is the same story line that Guza penned three years ago with Liz/Jake when Sam watched Jake being kidnapped and hiring armed thugs to terrorize Liz/Jake and Cam.

Emma dressed up as a lamb is adorable. She reminds me of Hope on OLTL in her little pumpkin outfit waiting on her Momma to beat the crap out of Hannah!

Lisa. If Gh wanted to keep Lisa around, they should have planned the story better and played out the beats, like Lisa having an identical twin that Patrick had no idea existed. Lisa #2 could be helping her sister get Patrick away from Robin and no one knew that she was recently released from a long term mental facility. Guza only cares about Sonny, Carly, Jason and Brenda and anything else does not get his full attention.

Liz/Aidan - The baby's kidnapping was boring, contrived and convoluted. Franco and his obsession over the #66 and Lucky finding the baby then handing it back to Liz was snooze worthy.

Maybe if I said this often enough it will happen-Guza needs to go!

I've been thinking about the similarities and differences between this Crazy Lisa Torments Robin storyline with the Crazy Olivia Torments Anna (Robin's mother) storyline of the late 80s. Olivia had a one night stand with Anna's husband Duke and then pulled out every trick in the book to torment Anna ... very Fatal Attraction. The writing for that storyline was SO MUCH BETTER. For one, Olivia was much more sinister. In addition, the writers showed the police trying to prove that she was evil--as opposed to the bumbling morons on today's show who can't put together the most basic of evidence. Even better, though, in the Anna-Olivia storyline, Anna ultimately put Olivia in jail by trapping her in an elevator and coercing a confession out of her. I loved kick-ass Anna. Overall, the Anna-Olivia storyline was richer, more emotional, and more suspenseful than the Robin-Lisa storyline, because Anna wasn't just a victim over and over and over and over.

Also, does anyone find it odd that Robin has problems forgiving Patrick for the one night stand but has no problems taking advice from a MOBSTER?

Sonny didn't cheat on Robin or bring a physcho who continues to stalk and try and kill her baby and her at every turn into their lives so no I don't find it odd at all.

Sonny also didn't make vows to be faithful to Robin and then break them and continue to lie about it even after his psycho mistress broke into their home and stole her meds. I just don't think Robin's friendship with Sonny has anything to do with her marriage. He's a friend she sees every once in a while, not her partner in life, so I don't expect her to care as much about what Sonny does as what Patrick does. Besides every freaking person on the show takes advise from mobsters because on GH Jason and Sonny are the all-knowing good guys, and that's a who other issue entirely.

I think babies only exist on GH to be kidnapped. Otherwise, they're kept offscreen with their never-seen nannies.

Actually, Sonny made a vow to protect Robin forever, and he totally threw her under the bus after the Michael's parentage reveal, and ignored her for years when he was supposed to be her protector. So he has broken vows to and about her. He sucks. At one point in her life there were three people who were most important to Robin, Jason, Sonny and Mac. Only Mac is still true to her, but she still forgives and makes excuses for the other two.

I'm not gonna lie, I kinda love that Robin told Emma it was okay to call Lisa a bitch. That's good soap parenting.

It just makes no sense to me that Lisa is still working at the hospital. I get that the writers have decided that they like Brianna Brown since Lisa has turned all wackadoo....but come on - the chief of staff has completely forgotten that a nurse was murdered - wonder who did that? I understand the lack of physical evidence...but Patrick was there while Lisa waved a gun around screeching like a banshee at the top of her lungs - you'd think he'd be stressing that point to Steve when he's asking him to scrub in with Lisa. I also don't think Robin was being negligent by turning her back for 2 seconds....gosh - leave a kid in a tree once and everyone turns on you! On another note, I am liking Michael with the stripper girl. She's a better actress than some who are on contract. Yes, it started on a weird note with Sam arranging a hook up - but I think there is something there if the writers don't eff it up. And finally please bring back Kristina and put her and Ethan together in a storyline where he needs to (as a friend) help her over her abuse issues and slowly something develops. I'm totally not feeling him & Maya together - she's as exciting as a piece of dry toast. The writers have no problem with rapid aging syndrom, so give Kristina her 19th birthday party and put her together with Ethan already!

As episodes of this show go, not terrible, but still largely failtastic.

First let me say that Emma is the prettiest baby. Love Robin, Patrick and Emma.
As for the Lisa character, I don't care about the character enough for GH to redeem her and keep her. Lisa ia a one note character who played her part and needs to leave. GH needs to know when to end a story and then to end the character in this case the FA character, Lisa. The character Lisa/Actress just doesn't interest me. She did her job now time to move on. Why can't GH know to use an actor for the TIME and then end it. Stories have a beginning, middle and end. GH always does this and did it with Mr Craig who turned into Jerry Jax and was ruined. The FA story and character should have ended with Robin and Patrick rebuilding their marriage. Then I would like to see Robin and Patrick have another baby.

I think GH needs to rid the show of many newbies. I want to see characters I care about who have history on GH not ALL the newbies. Pretty sad that many recurring characters have more airtime then regular GH characters. Lisa, Claire, Suzanne, and even this stripper are so not needed. Michael needs a girl his age and show the younger set. Show problems they go through. Then GH needs to show an older couple like Maggie and Victor on DOOL. I'm 30 years old and on DOOL Maggie and Victor interest me. Tired of all the sleeze on G and comedy when I rather see love and romance. Bring back Anna and put her with Robert or someone new without the comedy like Eli Love nonsense.

Thanks for the laughs. Robin & Emma were awwwwww worthy. I'm ready for the Fatal part of this equation.

I agree with Cathy, that is a good point that GH continues to keep characters on well after they have served their purpose and then ruins them. For any Seinfeld fans this reminds me of when George wanted to end every conversation on a high note, if he got a big laugh he'd say, "That's it! I'm out!" and then leave. Guza doesn't seem to know when to end things on a high note and the Mr. Craig story is a perfect example. I actually enjoyed the Metro Court story, but when they decided to keep the actor and make him Jerry Jacks, it became ludicrous. The suspense of Robin being held at the cabin went absolutely nowhere once they sprung Lisa from Shadybrooke and now we're back to square one.

As for Lisa, I read that she is going to have some kind of connection to the Balkan, and if that isn't also ludicrous...isn't it stretching things enough to have Dante involved with Brenda and the Balkan, now Lisa too? Guza really loves to just throw everything onto the pile and see what comes out on top.

One more thing I wanted to put out there about Sonny....has anyone noticed that he has a STUFFED BADGER in his office?? WTH??!!

@Anna Yep Kristina was kidnapped along with Micheal at the hands of Faith Roscoe and A.J. Remember that's when they ended up finding Kristina but was made to think that Micheal was dead but in fact A.J had him. I think almost every kid on the show has been kidnapped! smh

Does anybody remember when a young Robin was kidnapped by that Olivia Jerome woman. I can't remember if the kidnapping happened before or after Olivia had someone break into the Devane Lavery house and kill one of Robin's pet Love Birds. (Kimberly McCullough could cry so well even as a child) Anyway, she pretended to be a police officer sent by Robert/Anna to pick Robin up from school. Robin did note that "the lady" didn't really know what she was doing, I think. Back then it seemed like the police officers were Robin's personal bodyguards/occasional babysitters! Hey, it was around Halloween too. Robin was taken from school for an outting to a haunted house, dropped off in front of the penthouse and came in the house all giddy not even realizing that she was with a psycopath. I love YouTube!

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