Servin' Up An Old-Fashioned, On The House!
Tonight, I give you wonderful Serial Drama readers the gift of a simple, totally unbiased, traditional recap.
Okay, part of that sentence was true.
We open on James being irritated at Cole, which is odd since we recently saw James looking for Cole to try to make peace and apologize to him. James suggests that this might not all be the work of one Eli Clarke.
Starr gives Hope some strange finger food to pick at and promises her that they'll find a way out of Hannah's parents' attic.
Langston busts up the Ford/Hannah reunion in a tedious manner.
Echo tries to console Charlie about the loss of Jared, while he tries to get rid of her, though she sticks around to drop subtle hints that she understands that kind of loss and is willing to ease his pain. (Step One: stop calling him "Chuckles.")
Viki marvels at Gigi's sketch book, in which there's a drawing of the half-necklace from Rex's mother, who I guess is now officially Echo, since Rex is looking at the half-necklace in person in Echo's room, wondering, "What's Echo Di Savoy doing with it?" since it is a Llanview law now to never say "Echo" without saying, "Di Savoy."
Credits. Wind-blown hair!
Rex flashes back to the really boring find-Rex's-parents story.
Echo (Di Savoy) gets choked up and wants to tell Charlie something, but she worries (with little subtlety) that Viki won't like what she's about to spill.
Viki congratulates Gigi for pursuing her dreams and Gigi assures the woman who has given her and her son a giant free beautiful home for years and asked nothing in return that she's not too busy for her.
Markko runs into Cristian and tells him that he's staying in town till they're sure Starr and company are okay, but Cris accuses him of staying for Langston as well, since Langston is such a great catch.
Ford pretends to want another chance with Hannah as Langston looks offended. She needs to look offended, of course, so that she can be so impressed later that it was an act to help his brother, because Ford is so totally great now.
Cole defends Hannah to James, who is unimpressed and unconvinced, because he is a Ford brother, and Ford brothers know all.
The baby who plays Hope asks for her Mommy, and Kristen Alderson pretends it has something to do with her and then lies down to go to sleep.
Langston gets really self-righteous with Ford, which is super-easy to watch since Langston is in such a position to be judgmental about how one treats another human.
Cole and James stand with their faces about three inches apart and talk about working together, and Cole goes in for a kiss. Oh wait, no, James goes to the fridge and gets them each a colored generic soda. Cole notices the bullet-on-a-chain, and the two brilliant boys realize they heard two different stories about how the bullet-on-a-chain showed up where it is, as James flashes back to yesterday, in case we'd forgotten.
Starr has a nightmare that Hannah and Cole smooch.
Hannah conveniently plot-points out of the room (or takes a call from Marty, rather) and Ford tells Langston he's not legit with Hannah and she needs to trust him, and she smirks.
Markko insists to Cris that long-distance relationships never work, and Cris looks meaningfully to the side, thinking about how hot his dark, chiseled features are. Or about Layla.
Viki comes home and kicks Echo (Di Savoy) out of Llanfair. Echo (Di Savoy) is "Sorry, Charlie!" and off she goes. Queen Victoria grumps a bit and furrows her regal brow, while Charlie suggests that Viki overreacted.
Rex photographs the half-necklace, as private eyes do. Perhaps he can get a job as a world-famous photographer if the Fotomat develops that well.
Hannah wraps up her plot point (or phone call) as Langston tells Ford she trusts him. Then the two of them fake a spat when Hannah returns, and I suppose we're supposed to feel the heat now that they're on the same side. I am freezing and bored. Langston leaves and Ford lays it on thick with Hannah, who is perturbed by the whole scene.
Starr, in extremely heavy eye-makeup that should've worn off days ago, continues having a nightmare about Hannah and Cole, and Cole angsts a bit about James and Meghann Fahy looks amazing in that dark green. In the dream, Starr runs in and is in a less-flattering color, while James shows up to save her. In the dream.
James and Cole compare notes about the bullet-on-a-chain and... no, they actually don't compare notes and totally lie so that they can drag this out and further torture us. Cole leaves.
Buenos Dias. Gigi tries to shut Markko up about how awful long-distance relationships are. Cris takes off and Gigi enlightens Markko on his faux pas. Markko feels dopey and Cris is behind the counter looking broody with great cheekbones.
Viki and Charlie debate about whether or not Echo (Di Savoy) is on the up-and-up and share some time looking at the snapshot that Echo (Di Savoy) took of the two of them. Charlie suggests that Viki is being paranoid, and Viki throws down some indignation.
Echo (Di Savoy) arrives at her room when Rex is still in there digging around.
Cris and Markko each get the mid-show bumpers today. Adorbs.
Rex pretends that he was bringing towels to a tenant in a different room, though Echo (Di Savoy) knows who he is, and they drop leaden hits about his biological parentage. Rex leaves, which should happen more often. Echo (Di Savoy) checks out her special box (woah, that sounds dirty).
Viki tells Charlie about this fascinating speeding ticket that Echo (Di Savoy) got twenty-five years ago, but it doesn't much impress Chuckles.
Rex shows Gigi the photo of the half-necklace, and she surmises that this half belonged to his bio-father. Charlie? I'm sleepy.
Langston goes to James for answers about Ford's scheme.
Ford keeps working on Hannah as James and Langston exchange stories on how suspect Miss Hannah has been. James insists that they can't tell Cole the truth about Hannah because Cole will be the idiot that he is and immediately go to Hannah and confront her. Meanwhile, Hannah tosses out a hypothetical to Ford in which Starr is not in the picture.
Starr continues having her bad dream, in which Cole and James compete for her affections, since choosing between two guys is totally what should be dominating her consciousness right now while she's in captivity with her baby.
Cole comes home and busts up Ford's attempt to get information from Hannah, so Ford leaves. Ford, incidentally, is no longer visibly hurting from the beating earlier by Clint's goons, so I guess it wasn't really that bad. It's a shame.
Queen Victoria tells Charlie about how Dorian agrees that Echo (Di Savoy) is up to something and they continue to argue and the Queen makes a play on words regarding "echoes" and repetition.
Rex tells Gigi he might be able to get a straight answer about the half-necklace from "somebody else."
Starr wakes up and tends to her crying child. Starr sings to Hope and, predictably, the lullaby continues as a voice-over for the next scene: Echo (Di Savoy) putting on the half-necklace and weeping.
Charlie and Viki make a plan to do the nasty upstairs at Llanfair and go on up. To have sex in the room next to maybe Jess and Brody having sex, with possibly John and Natalie having sex in the bedroom on the other side. Who's to say.
Buenos Dias, with a GH love song in the background. Markko worries aloud to Cris that there's no news on Starr.
Ford arrives home at the abs apartment and fills Langston and James in on the fact that Hannah clearly knows exactly where Starr is.
Hannah and Cole enable each other semantically.
Starr puts Hope back to sleep and asks the air to send Cole or James to help them. See, Starr has decided how she's going to pick which guy to be with -- whoever rescues her first gets dibs!