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« Servin' Up An Old-Fashioned, On The House! | Main | And People Wonder Why The Ratings Are In The Toilet?! »

October 21, 2010

XOXO, Gossip Girl

"This is a hospital, not a third grade lunchroom."

I apologize in advance for the angry use of my caps lock key--sometimes Epiphany is so annoying that she drives me to type in a yell-ish manner, no matter how calm I try to be, but:

OH, REALLY, EPIPHANY? REALLY? DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE YOUR CHIEF OF STAFF WAS ALL "SO, DID YOU HEAR ABOUT LIZ'S MONEY PROBLEMS AND ALSO, YOUR WIFE IS CRAZY"?

Goss 

The investment that Steve was all gung-ho about a few months back actually turned out to be a disaster, thanks to the FDA not approving the drug. Who could have seen that coming? Actually, I never saw General Hospital picking that story back up, so consider me legitimately surprised. When he filled Patrick in on this debacle, he went on a bit of a tangent...

Steven: I feel awful that I brought anyone into this investment, especially my sister.
Patrick: Don't worry about me. I didn't invest anything more than I could afford.
Steven: Well I wish I could say the same for Elizabeth. I tried to warn her, but she saw visions of college funds, family vacations...
Patrick: Is it that bad?
Steven: Well, she said she'll make it work, and I believe her, but she's been through enough already, trying to raise three boys and this stubborn streak about being independent.

Uh, thanks for sharing your sister's business, Dr. Webber! Weird.

He followed this up by voicing his concerns about Robin to Patrick.

Steven: I'm worried about Robin. Not the two of you, that's something you two can work out between the both of you. But as Chief of Staff, I'm concerned about her job performance.
Patrick: You can blame Robin for struggling after everything Lisa's done to her.
Steven: I'm just trying to be objective here. All Lisa's crimes, for lack of a better term, are alleged and she doesn't at all appear unstable. But Robin, on the other hand, is increasingly volatile, even erratic.
Patrick: Well, Lisa is smarter than we ever thought and crazier than I could have imagined.
Steven: I thought the same thing. But the longer this goes on--
Patrick: Lisa did everything that Robin was claiming.
Steven: Where's the proof? Look, I want to believe you, I really do. I wish Lisa never came here, but she did and she's a great doctor. I'm in no way defending Lisa, but you've got to look at this from another perspective. Whether Robin was okay when this all started, she's definitely not okay anymore.

Um.

First of all, Steven should be having this conversation with, you know, ROBIN instead of getting his Gladys Kravitz on. And secondly, are we just going to forget how Lisa threatened him with a sexual harassment suit? You'd think that would make Steven a little wary of believing everything Lisa says, since she's manipulated him, too, but I know that expecting continuity is like expecting Vanessa Marcil to express amusement with a chuckle rather than a cackle...

Let's check in with the show's other Webber, shall we? After hearing that all of her money was gone in the blink of an eye of a person who is dumb enough to invest her sons' trust funds, she wound up at Wyndemere. Brook Lynn tried to fill the amazingly awkward silence with a benign comment about how quick it is for guys to get dressed, and Elizabeth got the bitch ball rolling.

Elizabeth: You seem to be making the most of your employment.
Brook Lynn: Oh. Hmm. You know exactly what you're doing to Nikolas, don't you, Elizabeth?
Elizabeth: What happens between me and Nikolas is none of your business.
Brook Lynn: Well then, you'll have to excuse me because when someone I care about is getting hurt, I tend to speak up.

"Or drug them in order to have my way with them, so that I can get paid".

Brook Lynn: You honestly have no idea what a big hole you've blown in his life.
Elizabeth: I don't have to defend myself to you [The delivery of that "you" was so acidic and condescending. I replayed it at least five times and laughed each time. Never change, Becky--Ed.].

Liz 

Brook Lynn: No, you don't. Because he walked away from your affair with a beautiful boy that he lives, but you know what, Liz? There is so much fallout there. His relationship with Lucky is completely trashed. And then there's you. Yeah, you keep coming back, "I don't want you Nikolas, I don't want you", but you keep coming back again and again.

Uh, how many times has Liz been at Wyndemere since she's been back?

Elizabeth: I think you've said enough.
Brook Lynn: If you're so over him, why do you keep hanging around here?
Elizabeth, lowering her voice to let you know that It. Is. On.: Am I cramping your style? You don't fool me. I know exactly what you're doing here. You're digging for gold. You've made yourself a pretty sweet deal and you're working Nikolas to make sure it turns into a permanent thing. Or maybe you think he's going to fall in love with you. Hate to break it to you (looks Brook Lynn up and down): not his type.

I'm going to have to disagree with Liz here. Does she not remember Rebecca? Yes, Rebecca had Emily's face, but she and Brook Lynn share more than a few (irritating) mannerisms and personality defects.

Brook 

Brook Lynn: Damn, girl! You know what? You're starting to sound like a jealous girlfriend.

What a bizarre scene. I have no idea what the writers are attempting to do with Liz, or Nikolas, or Brook Lynn, or who we were supposed to be rooting for here. I just get irrational glee out of people being snide to Brook Lynn. Because she is terrible.

Other, assorted GH thoughts:

  • Three cheers for K-A-T-E! Kate! I do so love a Megan Ward sighting, especially when she is making me laugh:

Kate 
Spinelli: I will be out of here in no time so I an return to the needs of the Divine Brenda.
Kate: The Divine Who?
Spinelli: Brenda Barrett? Supermodel, humanitarian? She is residing here in town.
Kate: And somehow this just slipped your minds, ladies? Honestly, how can I have such two negligent employees?

Maxie: Maybe if you spoke directly with Jason?
Kate: Yes, after which I will go ask a brick wall. The result will be the same.
Maxie: Point taken.

Love. Her.

  • Michael Has The Worst Life Ever, Reason 742: The poor boy is stuck sleeping on a couch!

Bed 
He needs a hug. I say that all the time and I start to worry that if I ever encountered Chad Duell, I would run up to give him a hug, which would be creepy and inappropriate.

  • There is a scheme with Luke, Ethan and Maya that I am sure will lead to the show's twinkly "Shenanigans!" music, but I have a question: how is it even possible for Luke to bleed through $10 million in a few month? I mean, I know anything is possible in Guza's world but really.

Comments

Liz invested the Trust Funds in this scheme???? Say what now?! I thought the trusts were set up for when the boys turned 18 or somethng. How the heck did she get access to those funds? I'm not crying too hard for Lizzie. I'm sure St Jason will replenish the funds at some point.

Well, her investing the trust funds is just so that she can go broke and go to Nikolas for the money and we will get the catfight between her and Brookelyn.

And then we are treated to Robin going to pieces and getting sloppy at work, hinting that women cannot function if they have a man crisis.

But then again, this is Guza, in which all women are helpless and dependent on men.

Steve is such an idiot. Robin having problems isn't a sign that she is an unstable liar. All the crap she's been through is something that would make a lot of normal people struggle and have difficulty.And Lisa's calmness is not a sign that she is not a sociopath. Sociopaths are known for doing crazy, horrible crap and still being capable of acting calm and sane. You don't have to be a psychiatrist to see the flaws in his reasoning.

I beleive the answer you were looking for is twice Mallory. Elizabeth has been to Wyndemere exactly TWICE since she's return that we've seen. The other times i'm sure Brooke is referrencing has been stated by teh show, Elizabeth and Nik as to be soley about Nik seeing Aiden. So...while that comment from Brooke would have made sense LAST year around this time...right now? not so much.

I too am surprised the investment plot returned becuase I do believe even Becky Herbst had been told it was dropped prior to her going on maternity leave per her FCW event. (I remember cause she also said she found it as dumb as we all did) So...the show realized belatedly they need some manufactured reason to keep Nik and Liz near each other so Lucky can do all sad panda about it (after word vomiting to The Walking Stereotype how he's sooo over someone he constantly feels teh need to spill his history with to total freaking strangers to) so they can do more of those clunky "HEY LUCKY'S REALLY TEH FAHTER...DO YOU ALL SEE WHAT WE DID THERE....WE'RE BEING SUBTLE" type statements.

I personally have been stuck on why anyone would find Prince Humpsalot attractive for years now so the fact i'm supposed to buy two women catfighting over him for silly reasons...I can't help you with. You would think after Nik turned a deaf ear to the entire town telling him Rebecca was conning him out of money...the next time he picked up a gold digger, people would wash their hands of him and go "MORON! don't call me when you end up heartbroken again you idiot."

"You'd think that would make Steven a little wary of believing everything Lisa says, since she's manipulated him, too, but I know that expecting continuity is like expecting Vanessa Marcil to express amusement with a chuckle rather than a cackle..."


::::maniacal cackle of my own::::

Steven is a M.O.R.O.N. Why would he even bother to tell his sister about the drug investment in the first place? He knew Liz didn't want to take money from Nik and should have kept his mouth shut. Steven knew Liz was stubborn about maintaining her independce, she had money and a home.

Nik - Ugh. There is nothing attractive about him and he has NOT shared one little tear for what he did to Lucky, and I can't stand old whiny face.

Liz - I love a snarky and bitch face Liz! So, please get her away from Nik, Brook and Whiny face!

Monica should have been given custody of Michael. Maya lives at the Q mansion and it would have been so much better if Brooklyn came to town with Dante's son and lived at the mansion. The mansion should be full of the next generation of Q's. The truth about Jake being a Webber/Quatermaine/Morgan would have Edward salivating. Monica would now have a mansion full of family, and Edward would be manipulating everyone to join ELQ. Tracy would be freaking out at being called a great-grandmother, and Aiden's paternity as a Spencer would push Liz out of Nik's orbit (friends only) and she would only have to deal with Jason and Lucky as her children's fathers.

Well, on the bright side - maybe its a sign of things to come. Maybe Guza is gonna pick up all the dropped storylines - maybe we will finally find out why Stan died, who has the precious warehouses and piers now that Trevor took from Ric, maybe we will actually find out why the stores in PC carry only black T-shirts or what brand of coffee is brewed at Kelly's that has made the words "coffee importer" no longer come out of Sonny's mouth ... oh duh, that's 5 syllables - never mind.

I don't know which is more frustrating - the dropped storylines or the ones that should be.

OK, the ones they're currently writing are the ones most frustrating.

Pardon me for attempting to make since out of this crapfest.

All the Webbers in this post have me wondering: Whatever happened to Steve and Liz's sister, Sarah? They never mention her. She's like Chuck Cunningham on Happy Days.

Steve should die. I just...Idiot, YOU are the one who found out about the cabin, and then found out she had taken off for there in a panic, and then pulled a gun on two people-all of which there were more witnesses to than just Robin, Patrick, and Lisa. And YEAH, Robin probably IS a little on edge and erratic-being cheated on, and then stalked, and then kidnapped, and almost killed, and, worst of all, having your child threatened....I wonder how well YOU would be coping, you tiny little spiky-haired twit! HATE him now-Guza made me hate Steve Hardy's grandson and namesake! I take back my original statement-Show needs to die.

And I want Robin to tell them all, including Patrick right at the moment, to go fuck themselves, and then transfer to Mercy. Then I want her to file a multimillion-dollar suit against the hospital, naming Steve as a party to the suit, and alleging that Steve showed favoritism to Lisa, as well as violated Robin's privacy on several occasions by talking about her personal business w/fellow employees not involved in the matter, due to a prior sexual relationship w/Lisa. Asshole. And I actually mean the show more so than Steve.

GUZA=EVIL. I hate that bastard. Thats all I got to say.

Evidence for Steve:
*Lisa pulled a gun on Robin and Patrick
*Lisa lied to police that she didn't know where Robin was
*Lisa took their child without permission
*Dead nurse

....

this story blows.

It's as if the head writer has a multiple personality disorder. His alters must take turns writing and fail to communicate with each other! Cause I tell ya, character personalities change on a dime!

The one saving grace of this ridiculous story having Lisa come back like nothiing ever happened is that no one is mentioning the name Brenda. As silly as this story has become, at least Brenda isn't part of it (not including Robin confiding to Brenda). It's not about Brenda, no one is mentioning the name Brenda. That's a major reason I am tolerating this story, but my tolerlance is being stretched to the limit by Steve and Epiphany!

Why can't Patrick bring a sexual harrassment suit against Lisa for her actions in the locker room the other day? Many people at the 10th floor nurses' station have heard him reject her advances, that just include working together. He has made it publicly clear that he wants nothing to do with her. She keeps coming after him, and unclothed too. He could sue her just as well.

And if the Balkan's men (or 3rd party men) can trace Luke from Rome to Port Charles, why haven't they been able to trace all of the other people who flew there? Jason, Brenda, Suzanne? Shouldn't the Balkan know where Brenda is? And how can she walk around Port Charles like no one is after her (forget the stupidity of the Max and Milo bodyguard storyline and the non-hilarity that has ensued) but in Rome she can't even stay in her own hotel room (one place with security) without being attacked or a kidnapping attempt made?

The writers do not know how to maintain continuity in these storylines, and I'm about to stop watching just for being offended that the writer's think I am this stupid!

@GH Makes Me Crazy - not to mention if THE BALKAN can trace Luke and discover Ethan is his son...he also can't figure out Luke has another son that GASP looks exactly like this assassin he hired in "Ireland" and is conviently on a leave of absence from his job as a POLICE DETECTIVE????

Or if Brenda is a world famous as she supposedly is....why the newspapers wouldn't be filled wiht stories about either her A - her leaving of Rome to go BACK TO PORT CHARLES or B - her mysterious disappearance from Rome. (Or the fact that when told to kidnap Brenda it didn't occur to Lucky for one single second to...call home and see if anyone there has heard from her lately?)

God, Elizabeth is so crazy. Imagine! A little woman thinking she can be independent! It's a good thing she's got her overbearing, bad investment pushing brother and a bunch of other controlling men to look out for her. Otherwise she might END UP IN SHADYBROOK AGAIN OMG. Cuz she's totally crazier than Lisa. I hate this show.

I'm happy to see that Becky Herbst is still insanely gorgeous. That is all.

Steven's role on this show is tragic. He is the grandson of the OG Steve Hardy. He is Jeff and Heather Webber's son! Give me a break. He should be battling between being a stand-up guy and a snarky asshole. His mother was CRAZY! I am going to pretend that 2004 return story never happened, but Heather was zany. She was manipulative, scheming, but all she wanted was to be loved.

I wish the show would bring back Heather, Jeff and Annie Logan (who in my mind is Sarah and Liz's mom). Even for a short arc, I would like the show to deal with parentage of these characters. GH briefly touched on how having crazy Heather as a mom affected Steven and the Webber household. I seem to recall a throw-a-way scene between Liz and Heather discussing how she would come around and Jeff would pay her to go away. Either way, Steven deserves SO much better than to be an inept Chief of Staff.

Also, Epiphany makes me furious. I hated the way she talked to Steven. I am no pushover at work, but she was so nasty to her BOSS. I wish that Steven would have kicked her to the curb. I know that GH originally saw Epiphany as the daytime version of Bailey from Grey's Anatomy, but Bailey is a doctor, and Epiphany is a nurse. She does not have the clout.

Has anyone noticed how we keep hearing "Dr. Monica Quartermaine" being paged on the loudspeaker during the hospital scenes? That does not make up for the fact we are not seeing her on our screen.

Robin is making so many mistakes. It is getting ridiculous. Robin was always fiery, but she is no fool. She would be able to control herself with Lisa and be able to drive her crazy. Also, the fact that Lisa was released and back at work is unbelievable.

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