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« Truth Telling, With Madison North | Main | Is There Ever NOT An Exception To Police Procedure? »

November 02, 2010

There Is No End to the Ridiculosity

It goes without saying that the only (THE ONLY) time General Hospital exhibits consistency and continuity is when it pertains to Jason Morgan and his inherent greatness. The rest of the show is a slapdash mess of "Maybe it doesn't make 'sense' that this character would do this, but you know what it would make? AWESOME" and "Let's just pretend that the thing that happened didn't happen. And let's make it happen the exact opposite way" and it's all very frustrating, not to mention shockingly dull, to watch.

I thought that I'd made my--well, saying that I made my peace with that is a pretty blatant lie, considering the four years worth of blog entries I've written detailing my dissatisfaction with all that this show chooses to be. I thought I had at least learned to expect it, then. But then come episodes like today's, in which nearly every line of dialogue had me screeching, in the manner of a howler monkey or Carly, "Oh my god, what is HAPPENING?" NONE of it made sense from a character standpoint, or a history standpoint or an entertainment standpoint.

Divider

Steven continues to audition for the role of Catty Gossip on an ABC Family adaptation of a popular young adult series, offering his take on the issues Robin and Patrick are facing.

Steven: Are you hearing what you're not saying? Because I am. You are so angry at Robin.
Patrick: I'm not angry at Robin. I said it was my fault.
Steven: I see. So you cheated in a vacuum? Robin had nothing to do with it, Lisa had nothing to do with it?
Patrick: I should have known better.
Steven: No question. But I can make an argument that Robin is doing nothing to help you or herself.

You could make that argument, but...why would you? Why is this conversation even happening? Giving Steven a story of his own would OBVIOUSLY be asking too much because it would just be way too complicated to insert him into The Balkan's story, and Robin/Patrick/Lisa have filled the Non-Brenda/Balkan quota this show has, but why is this the only alternative?

Steven: She's not trying to forgive, she's not fighting for your marriage. She's doing zero to preserve her family which, frankly, I find a little troubling. Unless, of course, you're beating or verbally abusing her.
Patrick: Of course I'm not doing anything like that. I love my wife.
Steven: Then why doesn't that carry more weight with Robin?

"Because, um, from where I'm standing, she has it pretty good. You don't abuse her! You just cheated on her and had a longstanding, boundary-lacking relationship with your ex-girlfriend. You're a goddamn prince, Patrick! A PRINCE!"

Steven: Look, I'm not saying it's easy to get over infidelity. It's not. But I'm just curious about why she's so much more interested in being the wounded party than in fixing things.
Patrick: Because Robin's been through a lot in her life. She's had a lot of loss in her life and that's how she deals with it: she pushes it away. She locks it deep down and she moves on to the next thing. If Robin had her way, we would be getting a divorce. We'd be co-parenting, we'd be amicable exes. I'm not ready to give up on my marriage. Robin and Emma are the most important thing in my life and I just hope I didn't realize that too late.

Since you should have realized that on your wedding day, I am going to go ahead and say yes, you realized that too late.

There is so much "WHY?" and "WHAT?!" and "HOW IN THE FUCK" in this conversation. Like, how in the fuck is Robin turning into one of the story's villains? I hate everything, basically.

Divider

To the surprise of absolutely no one, the ambush on The Balkan was totally botched, because how else could they drag this shithole of a story out for weeks, or months or, JASON HELP US ALL, years. The fallout:

  • A creepy Balkan henchman was killed by Brenda
  • Sonny snuck into the PCPD to see Brenda
  • Lucky's cover is officially blown
  • Brenda and Dante's past has raised a few eyebrows. Most notably Carly's.
  • Brenda is having nightmares that cause her to wail like some kind of woodland creature, and requires hugs from Jason, which makes Sam uncomfortable and also sad.

You'd think that at least one of those things would be entertaining. And, okay, one of those things was: Carly is SO excited to have dirt on Brenda, even if she isn't sure what the dirt actually is. I had to giggle at her disgusted "Was she crying? Was she babbling?" when she heard that Brenda was acting out of sorts, as if she is so firmly opposed to making a public spectacle like that.

And, actually, another of those things was entertaining. Just not...on purpose: Lucky's screaming at Interpol Whatshisface that "We don't know for sure that my cover's been blown!" was followed, not ten seconds later, by Dante's "Um, I got an email from The Balkan addressed to Detective Lucky Spencer, so...", which made me laugh a mirthless kind of laugh.

The rest of it? Feh. I am less than interested in the state of Jason and Sam's relationship, and I am wholly revolted by everything about Sonny and Claire, and the wailing that Vanessa Marcil did to convey terror was...it was televised, is what it was.

Divider

I think we need a palate cleanser. I leave you with the utter adorability of the children of Port Charles dressed up for Halloween.

Joss

Emma 
Gang 
The cuteness of its child actors is literally the only thing this show has going for it.

Comments

The child actors are the only ones immune from the garbage fed out by the writers to the adults. Just wait until Emma, Jake, Cam, Josselyn and Spencer are old enough to spew out the garbage currently being spoken by their adult parent

So wait....Lucky's cover is only just NOW blown...not like last week when he was stupidly walking around town talking to everyone he met about how he was undercover while he was on the docks??? (in the Irish accent because apparenlty while you are speaking with an accent, no one pays attention the fact the words coming out of your mouth is "I'm undercover for Interpol". The more we know...)

What??????

Ahhh adorable children...even YOU can't distract me from that stupidity.

Cameron speaks for me on that one.

GH most definitely has the cutest kids in Daytime with Miss Emma Scorpio-Drake leadin the pack!

And Steve? What a douchebag! He does not know Robin hardly at all and he just needs to STFU like now! Worst COS ever.

I do believe the dialogue for today between Steven and Patrick was written for the Robin haters. If you read a few of the message boards you will find people who think that Patrick's infidelity was Robin's fault (unfortunately more people than you think).

For example: If she hadn't went to Africa...If she hadn't remembered Stone...If she would have left her daughter at home and partied at Jake's...Patrick would not have cheating. Sickening, I know.

I can see the writing on the wall and Robin will be carted away to Shadybrooke soon (committed by her loving, faithless husband). She only has herself to blame for not forgiving him in a day or two. (sarcasm/hate this storyline).

On the other hand, the children rock!!

The conversation between patrick and steve was so so wtf? Who the hell is steve to talk about robin like that. listen i get that this show thinks we're all idiots but that was just so insulting to listen to!This effing show!

WOW, you are so very right about it all! From the out-of-characterness and inconsistency in the Pat/Rob storyline to Brenda's rather "uneventful presence".....GH has made a mockery of its show. Week by week, they're destroying their show and its characters!

This entry truly made my night, you're hilariously true!

Thnx for that :)

love that Spencer is wearing what seems to be a Dracula costume.

Yes, but it was a flower costume really the best choice for a child notorious for her big head?

Or is she wearing it with pride?

I just want Robin to stand her tiny little ass up on the nurses' station, stick up both of her middle fingers and point, one by one, at Steve, Patrick, Epiphany, Liz, Lisa, Matt and extras #1, 2, and 3, since I'm sure they're all Team Lisa, too, and say, "Fuck YOU, and fuck YOU, and fuck YOU...", and so on. Then I want her to pack her shit, go take the position at Mercy that I'm sure is hers for the asking, and then go see Alexis to file a multi-million dollar lawsuit against GH, naming Steve as a party, for the hospital's unfair treatment of her resulting from the cos's sexual relationship w/a colleague. Then I want her to fuck Lucky right on top of the big pile of money she wins, sending the whole scene to Patrick's e-mail box via webcam.

She's invested in acting like the victim b/c she IS the damn victim, you orange, shriveled up, little TWIT. And she's not interested in forgiving Patrick b/c he says stuff like, "Go after Robin all you want, but leave Emma out of it." And does stuff like sending Robin to the hospital by herself after she had just been PULLED OUT OF A DAMN WELL, b/c he had to wait w/his mistress for the nutwagon to come, B/C THE BITCH WAS THE ONE THAT PUT HIS WIFE IN THE WELL. And b/c he says, "I'll quit if I have to work w/her.", then, when he's told he DOES have to work w/her, he just says, "Okay, boss.", then proceeds to compliment her on her work. And he does stuff like BELIEVES THE BITCH THAT'S KIDNAPPED HIS DAUGHTER IN THE PAST OVER HIS WIFE. Robin would have to join the "Dumb Bitches of PC" club, of which Claire is the founder and president, if she WAS feeling forgiving towards Patrick right now!

SO. MUCH. FUCKING. HATE.! Die, show, die!

Dear GH writers,

Get an f'n clue. You suck. You suck. You suck.

Sincerely,

Very soon-to-be ex-GH viewer

P.S. Die Whore. Die Steve. Wake up from your stupidity coma, Patrick.

wtf@ at Patrick not believing in Robin. What else does it take besides seeing some crazed bitch standing in the woods with a gun ready to blow her own head off?

This show is absolutely off the rails and in no way grounded in reality. Like it ever was but... seriously, the SL with Lisa, Robin, and Patrick is complete crap.

The whole deal with the witches hat in the locker room was predictable. Soon as they show it sitting there I thought, "Okay a nurse will come and claim it,so Patrick will feel like an ass for blaming Lisa for stalking Robin". Then guess what happens? A nurse comes to claim it. Come on writers, you all are dumber than a box of hammers.

@Marianne

A-freaking-men. It's as if Patrick has zero backbone. Definitely not a guy Robin would want anyway. There hasn't been a SL that has really pissed me off this much but this one sure does.

Marianne will you marry me?

I am also a lover Marianne's post this show is beyond ridiculous and though I don't watch it live I always check message boards because like a bad cold I can't get rid of it, so when I read all the horrendousness that went on I was like wow this show is even worse then I ever thought. Why in the world are supposed women writers (at least yesterday show's specifically) writing such drivel especially for women and about some women, what an utter embarrassment they and the whole TIIC are to society !!!

I liked Steven and Patrick's conversation. I've wondered myself why it seems so easy for her just to give up without a fight. I know that anyone who dare say anything against Robin is a automatically a "douche" because there is a double standard for Robin and EVERYONE else on GH.. but for me I was glad someone voiced things I've asked myself.

@ Lisa

You rock and so does your post!! Word for word spot on. I can't believe the crap that is the Scrubs/Lisa sl. I keep thinking the worst is over, but apparently not. They want me to completely turn in my Scrubs fancard, that I've had since the beginning, true blue fan that I am. Patrick sucks. How in the f ing world could you NOT believe in your spouse after what they not only told you, but you were witness to half the crap as well?

I'm glad Robin isn't 'trying'. Gimme a reason why she should.

And to the serial drama ladies... love your commentary. Fun to read and I feel like you guys speak the truth and really know what's going on. The state of the show is reaching all time lows of suck.

To Marianne, I applaud you! Bravo, Bravo!

To CJ, you need to wake and as they say and smell the coffee!

Now onto the business - Steve can just STFU - he has no right talking about Robin or Patrick's marriage and what is going on - he doesn't even know them - I suspect he's trying to cover his own ass where that rank skank is concerned.

Robin deserves to have time to process this ish - she is the one who was cheated on, is being terrorized and stalked by Patrick's rancid biotch cheating accomplice. Give the woman a damn minute to face what is going on and let her deal with Patrick when she is ready. Who the hell said she has to be on a timeline for forgiveness. Patrick needs to get a backbone and do something about the sh** he put into motion - let him be stalked and terrorized for a bit and then clean up the mess you helped to create for your family - grow some damn balls and stop whining about what you're not getting!

IT'S BOB "I HATE WOMEN AND THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE VAGINAS AND I DON'T" GUZA!!! Did we expect anything different than for him to blame Robin for being cheated on?? Is there ONE WOMAN on this show, save for Diane Miller (and I even question her, sometimes) that isn't reduced to single-digit-IQ bullshit on a daily basis because of MEN?

--Carly: Turns herself into a screeching She-Beast over Sonny and Jax. I've never seen her get that screechy and bitchy over her kids. Mad, yes, but not to the point of flying estrogen-laden-spittle.

--Brenda: Need I say more? She can't button up her pants without the assistance of Jason, Jax, Sonny, Dante or Spinelli. This is a woman who supposedly travels to dangerous, third-world countries to help exploited children but she can't locate her own toothbrush in Port Charles without a man's help.

--Sam: The woman who can kill you with her stiletto heel from 40 paces, has conned rich and powerful men out of their very fortunes, but becomes a whiny, weepy pain in the ass wondering if Jason might have a "feeling" (really?) for Brenda, constantly bringing food and beer to her "man" and apparently letting her PI business grow cobwebs because she's busy lying there with her legs open waiting for Jason. ARGH!

--Claire: I don't need to say it.

Should I go on?? Guza HATES WOMEN!!! FUCKING HATES THEM!! If Patrick had thrown Lisa over the nurses' station and done her right there in front of the whole hospital, it would still be Robin's fault because Guza is a World Class, Gold-Medal-Winning, Historically-Epic DOUCHEBAG.

That is all.

Rene & Marianne, I sincerely thank you along with Mallory for helping to ease my ragstration (rage + frustration). I think reading this post may have saved me from a stroke!

The levels of misogyny and stupidity on this once entertaining soap are off the charts crazy. I am finally tuning out several times a week now after being a life long viewer/ fan. There is simply no excuse for how awful this show is now, shame on ABC for this mess.

This show's hatred of women and how everything is always their fault continues to disgust me.

On my GH Steven would be horrified by how Patrick could possible cheat on his wife and would comfort Robin, thereby giving us a love triangle with ROBIN in the middle for once.

I hate this show.

Thanks for the laughs! I have stopped watching and deleted GH from my DVR. The treatment of women on this show has a dismal track record but it has a new low. Brenda--the character once made me smile --UGH. Brenda/Robins' friendship how could Guza destroyed it so much. I enjoyed Sam much more away from St. Jason but alas that won't happen. Claire -- no words. Abby, the stripper with the heart of gold-- gee don't think I have seen that on GH before.

Must address Steve and Patricks' conversation. Patrick cheated on Robin --with his old bedmate. IMO--Patrick talks that he wants to be married but his actions-- his continued support of Lisa over his wife show he does not understand what he did-- their should be no time frame for her forgiveness. I wish Robin would get Alexis to sue the pants of GH and Steve for creating a hostile work environment.

Sure, Dawn-my husband and I were just saying we needed a wife, lol!

Rene and Liz-totally agree w/both of you! And that was an EPIC rant, btw, Rene-Becca and Mallory should hire you as a guest contributor, lol!

When Jason and Robin: Carly Cottage Hell is starting to seem like "the good ol' days", you know something is SERIOUSLY wrong!

When I heard Steve and Patrick's conversation, I thought "what the hell type of women-hater wrote this?" Then I remembered who the headwriter of GH is and it all made sense.

To Marianne,

Amen, double word, and all of that. I could not agree more. I hate this show and am so happy that I have finally given up on it. The only thing that would make me happier is if KMc would just leave this drivel of a show. She deserves better. Frankly, so do we.

"I just want Robin to stand her tiny little ass up on the nurses' station, stick up both of her middle fingers and point, one by one, at Steve, Patrick, Epiphany, Liz, Lisa, Matt and extras #1, 2, and 3, since I'm sure they're all Team Lisa, too, and say, "Fuck YOU, and fuck YOU, and fuck YOU...", and so on. Then I want her to pack her shit, go take the position at Mercy that I'm sure is hers for the asking, and then go see Alexis to file a multi-million dollar lawsuit against GH, naming Steve as a party, for the hospital's unfair treatment of her resulting from the cos's sexual relationship w/a colleague. Then I want her to fuck Lucky right on top of the big pile of money she wins, sending the whole scene to Patrick's e-mail box via webcam."

Marianne (gasping), :) I literally LOLd! You could be a guest blogger on Serial Drama! Just awesome!

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