Reasons To Call The Cops (And Other Things That Mystify)
Today was a tough one. I usually skip yelling at the screen because it just hurts, but I couldn't help it this time. While we had one scenario in which a bunch of (completely idiotic) people were blown away and full of righteous indignation that if you punch someone and he pushes back, you are not a victim who can press charges while you walk away scot-free... we had another scenario in which a woman had been abducted, tied up, taunted, and nearly raped, BUT NO ONE CALLED THE MOTHERTRUCKING POLICE. This is not the sort of situation that 911 is for?? Why, because Nora had wonderful, protective Rex with her to save the day? No worries about catching the dude who did it by, I don't know, sending some uniforms to the motel room?
These last few episodes have truly been bizarre. I really struggle to find words to explain what went on at that boxing gym and who in the world we were supposed to be rooting for. From what I gather (if you really want to track it, which you probably don't), the Fords made a deal wherein Bobby would box Eddie and if Bobby won, Eddie would leave town (I didn't catch if there was a "prize" if Eddie were to win). Eddie's an expert boxer and a violent maniac, but not only did the gaggle of morons think they could help Bobby learn to box in one day, they also thought there was some chance Eddie would follow through on his end of the bargain were he to lose. They brought in Cris, who dislikes Ford, to help him out. Cris helped because... he didn't like Eddie pushing James around. Then they brought in Brody, who loathes Ford with the burning fire of a thousand suns. Brody helped because... I have no freaking idea. Because it gave us shirtless Brody scenes (I am not complaining)? Both Cris and Brody got in a few punches (yay!) and it shocked the gaggle of dimwits and made them very nervous, but also made Langston very horny.
With me so far? Langston tried to talk Ford into bowing out of the fight by offering him a roll in the hay, and since Our Hero Ford is such an honorable dude, this made him love Langston so much that he couldn't possibly bang her. Starr, Nate, and Dani stood around being some sort of awkward Greek chorus of jackasses, and then Eddie came back and everyone yelled at each other a lot. I still don't understand what I was watching because it did not make a lick of sense. Then Ford punched Eddie, who punched him back? And pushed him, and then proceeded to take him down with a hilarious head butt. This made the jackassery contingent very unhappy and shrieky, and made James reach for a gun a few times with a weepy face. Awkwardly. And really, this is the key word. AWKWARDLY. The plotting was inorganic, the reactions were inorganic, the.... did all of this really happen?
"Poor Ford!" Or something.
They all acted incredibly shocked that Eddie would be so violent -- even though his violence is the thing they're all allegedly trying to get away from, and even though they invited him to fight. And stood around taunting him. If Brody hadn't been there, I'm pretty sure every one of these people would've had the crap beaten out of them since time and time again, something violent would happen and they would be surprised and upset and then turn around and deal with it by smugly taunting the violent dude again. For that reason alone, I do wish Brody hadn't been there.
Anyway, Clint has sunk to new lows, Eddie's been shot dead, Matthew is awesome, Natalie and John had one of the least romantic engagements possible, Matthew and Nora and Rex have apparently been in a car wreck with one another, and (oh yeah) both Bo and Nora nearly got raped by a divorced couple.
I'm a bit cranky today, yes, but seriously: what the hell is going on?