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« The Day's Dumbest Dialogue | Main | A Case of the Mondays? »

December 05, 2010

Siding With Sonny And Other Awkward Things

I was going to make this a poll. A poll along the lines of "If you could rid Port Charles of any useless, horrible, obnoxious, terrible, I could keep listing negative adjectives but I think you get the point I am trying to make character, which character would you choose?"

And then I remembered that my irritation with Spinelli has reached such a fever pitch lately that the poll choices would be something like:

a) Spinelli. Does he even have a first name? If he does, I probably hate it.
b) Oh, right, it's Damian. Damian Spinelli. Yup, I was right. I hate it.
c) Damian "The Jackal, OMFG, I hate that nickname" Spinelli.
d) Claire Walsh...and Spinelli. In a murder/suicide story, maybe. With on-screen organ donations, which I know doesn't mean anything in daytime but still, let me DREAM.

I...really can't stand the sight or sound of Spinelli, is what I'm saying. I've never really been a huge fan of the character, but he has his moments of charm and Bradford Anderson handles himself capably when he gets good writing, but he has stopped being comic relief and started being the reason my eye twitches every day at 3PM. and the reason I've aligned myself with the enemy.

Spinelli: Mister Sir has crossed the boundary of intent and good taste.
Sonny: What the hell's he saying?

I know, right, Sonny? He makes no sense and is terrible. Want to be friends? Let's hang out.

Brenda: I know. It's just nothing. Um...
Spinelli: I cannot stand idly by as you are led astray by dubious charm and false promises. Please, escort Mister Sir out.
Sonny: No, don't even think about it.
Brenda: No, everything's fine. Please, just--it's okay. I want to be with Sonny. Let's just move on from this.
Spinelli: You are operating under a false premise. The man you once loved in the first blush of youth no longer exists. Time and tragic events have hardened the previous Mister Sir into a cynical, faithless lothario that leaves broken hearts in his wake.
Sonny: Will you stop babbling! 'Cause I'll stop you from babbling!

DO IT, SONNY! Stop him from babbling! Stop him from babbling forever. I'll be your alibi!

Brenda: No, no, no, no, no! Let's all calm down. Please, everyone, let's calm down. Okay? Spinelli, I really appreciate that you want to protect me from bad things in life, but you don't need to protect me from Sonny. I trust him.
Spinelli: I fear that is a grievous error.

I fear that I might actively seek out fanfiction that writes Spinelli off of this show.

Sonny: You... go wherever you go. I don't care where you go as long as you don't say another word.
Brenda: Yeah, it's okay. Just-- you just go for a little bit.
Sonny: Tell me that guy's not a freak. Come on.
Brenda: No, no, no. What-- don't call him a freak. Why do you call him a freak?
Sonny, his voice dripping with sarcasm: Okay, he's normal. Can we go? Come on.

If you ignore...um, everything about Sonny that isn't his seething hatred of Spinelli, he kind of isn't so bad sometimes!

Do you know how terrifying it is to watch this show and have your exact facial expressions mirrored by SONNY CORINTHOS?

Sonny1 

Sonnyhatred 

Sonny 

If that is not a sign that Spinelli and his inability to speak to and interact with people the way earthlings do have seriously worn out their dubious welcome, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.

OTHER THINGS I DON'T KNOW

Why is Sonny and Brenda's reunion playing out so...lamely?

I do kind of know the answer to this. Answers, actually. One: their reunion is being written by a writing staff presided over by Bob Guza, so lameness is a given. The only thing MORE given than lameness is Jason propping. Two (and please don't judge me too harshly for my complete middle school hysteria): their reunion seems lame because IT IS LAME compared to what could have been between Jax and Brenda!

What? And also, why?

Jason 

So...did Johnny shoot the random henchman working for Jerry? And did he then get shot by Jason in return? Or is Port Charles just that unsafe that there is a chance you can just walk into a hail of bullets? And why the eff would Johnny get involved in any of this? And why couldn't he just go to the hospital?

Gunshot 

So bizarre, but it also led to some amusing moments. Brandon Barash is my preferred bearer of comic relief.

Johnny: All right, here's the deal, Florence. Either you patch me up or I go to your chief of staff and let him know that I saw you running out of Robin Scorpio's room with a syringe in your hand.

Johnny: I still have that needle and whatever was in it that you were going to inject into your lover's wife.
Lisa: Okay, first of all, he's not my lover. It was just one lousy night and I've been paying for it ever since.
Johnny: I lay corrected.

Ha!

In similarly hilarious news, Lisa has absolutely no idea how to react when faced with someone else's devious plan and she threw him a dead-eyed "I have no idea how to react to this" look.

Lisa 
Of course, it would be nice to see him get patched up and then tell Steven the truth anyway, just for kicks. Because REALLY, Robin needs one person on her side and why can't it be Johnny?

Were they totally chem-testing Nikolas and Lisa?

Nikchemtest 
Nikolas: Listen, uh, I know it's a tough situation for you, but... so far I think you've handled it gracefully.

If he's not trying to get into her pants, there is literally no reason for him to be saying those words to Lisa in that order.

Is Lady Jane new here?

Jane, to Carly: You have two sons. Could you help one at the expense of the other?

The show faded to commercial before we could hear Carly's response, which I am sure was, "Could I help Michael at the expense of Morgan? Um, fuck yeah I could."

How is Laura Wright's hair so perfect?

Carly 
Look at that smug face! She knows exactly how her hair is so perfect and she's not going to share.

Speaking of hair, whose is more ridiculous? Ronnie or Dante?

Normally, Ronnie's ink-cartridge stained hair has no competition because it is so completely insane.

Ronnie 
But Dante's hair is starting to feather in a seriously unappealing way.

Dante 
Do you think Olivia curls it for him?

I am wondering if this is Guza's attempt at ripping off--I am sorry, paying homage to--Life on Mars, but in reverse. And, you know...poorly.

Comments

"Do you think Olivia curls it for him?"

I actually snorted at this line.

I was so excited for Brenda... and then this. It's just...awful.

I can't believe that Nikolas said "I think you've handled it gracefully" after she did that stupid, pathetic online confession. Can he or Steve or anyone at least admit that a doctor shouldn't be posting things like that on the Internet? I would think that even a Facebook post by about a relationship with an unnamed married man would have Lisa in hot water, but here at General Hospital everyone's all, "You're handling it gracefully." Such crap.

Spinelli is overplayed now. When Sonny is a voice of reason, that is the start of the end. And I do believe we will be seeing a LOT more of Nikolas now......

Well, we could never get Stutter to emote any of the lines written for Spinelli, and I don't think I'd ever call him the voice of reason. Both of the characters are long overplayed, but I think only one of the actors still has a possible future elsewhere.

The dialog of this show is so bad you'd never even find it in a Harlequin novel. And where have all the attractive actors gone? To other networks?

I'm pretty sure I'll never get both a good story and a great looking hunk again on this show, but could I at least have one of them?

Sorry but I like Spinelli! I just wish that they gave him his own story like when Matt suggested that he could be autistic. They brought that up once and didn't follow up with it but, that's GH for you!

So there are actual legit rumors that Bradford Anderson might be leaving General Hospital in the new year. I actually cried hopeful tears of joy at this!!

The worst thing about Spinelli is that if he actually talked like a normal person and used words that made sense, his points and warnings about how awful Sonny is would be totally valid. It's just because they're said by him in a way that makes you want to throttle him to get him to just shut up and stop speaking that you completely miss how right he is about Sonny and end up taking Sonny's side. And thinking that Sonny is right. Which, you know, is awkward.

Oh Bob Guza, you sneaky, awful man. I see what you're trying to do here.

Forgive me, as much as I loathe Spinelli and wish he'd never utter another word, I have come up with a new nickname for Dante for Spinelli to venomously use. Forget whatever Spinspeak name he calls him now, Dante should be rechristened "Farrah Fawcett Jr". THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION WITH THAT HAIR :-0

And Johnny should totally turn the greasy haired psycho MD in and hook up with Robin. I am really depressed over this relentless Robin bashing :-(.

This show is so awful it blew Brenda's return. The ratings have sunk to new lows. Suck on your sour stupid wreck Guza. Is there anything he can get right? NOPE!

Life on Mars? I loved that show.

Spinelli should have died during the Metro-Court hotel hostage story line.

What the heck has Nicholas been eating? Has anyone seen Spencer lately?

Oh man. I like Bradford Anderson, but seriously hate Spinelli. I think his annoying character is over-saturated. Enough already.

"You are operating under a false premise. The man you once loved in the first blush of youth no longer exists."

Annoyingly put, but he ain't wrong.

As right as Spinelli is when he says things in the most irritating of ways, Guza has made sure it doesn't matter to Brenda. Isn't she the one who understood when Sonny said he shot his son (well, because he was a cop of course, and he DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS HIS SON).

Seriously, if you can be away from the mob boss that you long ago rejected as not right for you, and still UNDERSTOOD him shooting a cop and think he is still a good person, and subsequently become attracted to him all over again - because apparently, cop killing is an attractive trait - then you are way beyond help.

That might just be the WORST picture of Nik that I have ever seen. WOW.

As for Spinelli, I used to like him, a lot. But now he's just gotton SO totally annoying and I can barely watch him anymore. I don't mind the puppy dogging after a woman, I just hate how he can't get over anything. Give it a rest already!!

That's not Nik. It's Tyler Christopher test-balloon for the Rose Bowl parade.

have been away from GH in forever, but your blog always brings me back in the best way.....and it's screencap palooza today <3 <3 LURVE Laura Wright's hair... like ADORE

Sonny's face..bwahahaha.....and did you hear that Bradford's pilot has been picked up...so he MIGHT be leaving GH..............you might get your wish!

I know I've said this before, but if the glorious day ever comes when they kill off Spinelli, I do hope it's like when Poochie is killed off in "The Simpsons." At the least they should have Edward Quartermaine break the fourth wall and tell viewers that they've drawn up a legal document banning writers from ever bringing Spinelli back to life, with a real-life lawyer coming on scene to assure everyone that the document is legally binding.

I initially hated Spinelli, and then grew to like him, but once they had him chortling over the possible deaths of various characters and taken away any growth he had eked out, I grew to hate him again. They should have let him grow up a lot, and put him to work for the police department using his computer skills instead of working for mobsters. Now I just want him gone.

Dante's hair looks just like Dustin Hoffman's in Tootsie (as Michael Dorsey). If you watch shows like The First 48, detectives NEVER wear casual clothes like Dante and Lucky, they are almost always in suits or at least a dress shirt and tie. Definitely do not wear shirts way open at the neck so you can see their 20 gold chains. I guess Guza wants them to look like Starsky & Hutch, so Dominic Zamprogna has obliged with far-out 70's hair.

Definitely do not wear shirts way open at the neck so you can see their 20 gold chains. I guess Guza wants them to look like Starsky & Hutch, so Dominic Zamprogna has obliged with far-out 70's hair.I'm definitely not a DZ nor Dante fan, but the styling for this character is just atrocious. It's 2010--that look was dated 20 years ago, now it's just sad.

Awful, terrible, horrible picture of Tyler Christopher. That picture is so bad it's all I am able to focus on...

Does Nik remember Robin is the person who told the truth regarding the paternity of Spencer? Nik got his son b/c of Robin! And this is how he re-pays her with all the props for Lisa????!!! What a friend--he is all heart --of course he pays Spencer no mind. Love Lady Jane-- two sons comment.. great priceless poor Morgan --he will always pay for Michael. Carly always puts Jason/Michael first--Lady Jane should learn.

Spinelli is right about Sonny, but he is sooooo annoying that you don't care. Why would Brenda date Sonny after car bombing his daughter and shooting his son in cold blood. Why????

When I read your first paragraph about a poll et al, I thought for sure you were talking about Sonny! I'd have had to vote for Sonny. I liked Spinelli and his nerd names cause I'm a computer geek but the writers have now made him into something else. Us geeks are being poorly portrayed with him. I protest!

Mr. Krispy Kreme 2010 needs to keep his damn opinions to himself-o/c, he grew up w/Helena, so it probably DOES seem as though Lisa's handling things gracefully to him-"Hey, you didn't kidnap Patrick and keep him on an island and force him to father your children-you're doing awesome, far as I'm concerned!". Moron.

And this is reason 2,949,612 why I FLOVE Robin's character-b/c she is a much better "person" than I will ever be. Cause let me tell you-if I had been through everything w/this bitch and my cheating-ass husband that SHE has, that confession would have gotten Lisa something she really COULD report, the hospital one hellacious lawsuit naming Steven, Nikolas, and Lisa as parties, and Patrick a set of divorce papers that he'd have to get surgically removed from his ass in order to read them.

Seriously, I think everyone in Port Charles needs a big ass helping of "shut the fuck up and mind your own damn business"-Robin will forgive Patrick or not on her own terms and it's nobody else's business, Sonny and Brenda will start humping each other and get engaged and almost-married again despite what theCarlylovingrobotformerlyknownasJax OR ShutthefuckupfortheloveofallthatisHOLY-elli OR BJandtheBearDudeWannabeDante says or does-so can we, for the love of GOD, move on, already?

tish, re: Nik and Robin

Besides the Spencer thing, Robin was supportive and a good friend to him after finding out that Nik had slept with Liz and betrayed his own brother. I don't get where Nik is coming from right now, regardless of being a hospital board member and trying to remain impartial, he should be loyal to his FRIEND, Robin.

As for Lisa's video confession, it was totally inappropriate and she should be reprimanded at work. A bunch of my coworkers have facebook accounts and someone got a "talking to" simply about complaining about another worker, even though he didn't name the guy by name. And I work in retail LOL This is a hospital, where Lisa aired Scrubs dirty laundry on the internet (and I'm sorry, how is it "anonymous" when you can see her face?????? Hahahahaha) Absolutely ridiculous

Yeah, they're chem-testing Nik and Lisa the same way they are her with Johnny. Annoying. As. Hell.

Had to come back again about the Nik shit!

Besides returning Spencer to his rightful father and re-enraging Carly to do so, Robin also helped Nik and was a loyal friend in many other ways over the years. Like after his stroke and the following aphasia/recluse period. AND not being scared off by both Helena and Stefan! And keeping him alive during the Jerry bullshit poisoning debacle. Never judging him for the messes he made with her friends like Emily and Liz and Lucky.

But forget all of that, Guza loves Lisa so we are all stuck wih her and this totally insane character.

As for his super puffy face, looks like steroid related side affects. Maybe he is on some pretnisone or something? His eyes are tiny slits, I hope he is ok. I still remember loving him when he first joined the show. With baby Lulu, Lucky, Robin, Luke and Laura, Stefan and Alexis....he was so good back then. My opinion is that he was a much better actor at the beginning, kinda weird right?

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