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« Clearly They Hate Us, But They Gave Us This Gift | Main | Subtext Is A Funny, Funny Thing »

January 11, 2011

11 Days in 48 Hours (or Attack Of The Killer Preemies!)

Okay, help me get this straight. Today on One Life to Live the fiction date matched up with our real-world date (were any of you ready to punch the next person who said something about it being 1/11/11 today? "It's 11:11 on 1/1/11, y'all!" "Now it's 1:11 on 1/11/11!" I suppose we'll have to do this all over again on November 1st and 11th, yes?). But John and Natalie went to the courthouse to get married on New Year's Eve. In 2010. So Natalie has been at the cabin in her wedding gown and Marty has been in her New Year's Eve duds for eleven days? Oh disbelief, willingly suspend me now so this won't bother me!

So the twins had their babies today. (Doesn't this feel like the February sweeps story? Does this mean there's more high drama in store next month?) The twins had their babies way prematurely today. Um, the twins had their FRIGHTENINGLY GINORMOUS preemies today. Sweet mercy almighty those were some big babies that came out of those Buchanan vajayjays (actually not really, as Jess had a C-section). 


AAAAAAAAAH! Big giant baby who went and got birthed breech!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Big giant baby who got birthed out of a gunshot-wounded uterus!

Whoa. And they both had boys. Cute little boy cousins and maybe cute little boy half-brothers. Who knows! Will we know, like, ever? Sometime soon? Where's Vimal when you need him?

The giant preemies should come as no surprise though, considering how they'd heretofore made their presence known.

Natalie got out of her pretty pickle with a Deus Ex Crazypants in the form of Marty finally surpassing "lost it" and graduating to "and doesn't know where she is." The apparently-should've-been-an-OB-GYN shrink delivered Natalie's baby, no problem-o, but when John arrived she completely separated from reality and thought that she'd never miscarried and this was her baby with John. I assume she'll head to St. Ann's soon, but someone should give her a heads-up that her delightful son made a serious enemy of one of the head nuns there.

In all honesty, Susan Haskell (Marty) broke my heart a little today. That's hard to do in this storyline which hasn't exactly been putting Marty in a sympathetic position (I'm still hoping for the Clint/Marty matching brain tumors explanation).


Considering who her living son is, can you really blame her for wanting another shot so bad that she totally disconnected from the real world? Lord knows I would.

And Echo and Rex bonded a bit, Charlie manned up and went back to stand by his family in crisis, Clint and Viki were their adorable parental selves, and... something with Kelly and Joey and Aubrey and Cutter. I hope the Aubrey/Cutter scam gets blown up and fast because it's making Joey the dullest ever, not to mention I still have some hope for this new guy, but he'd need to be able to interact with the full canvas for anything to really click.

So is this All-Grownup Monday/Tuesday thing going to be the new formula? If it is, 2011 is my favorite! I do miss Nora and Bo and Matthew and Blair but we'll see them soon enough. If that's the price to pay for never seeing the Ford boys or their tepid ladies until Wednesday each week, I will happily pay that price.

Don't forget to check out Matt Walton's new show tonight on Comedy Central! 

Destiny out.


Jeepers creepers. Those babies are bigger than my four-month-old. Oww.

OLTL needs to take a cue from GH when it comes to "newborn" babies. When it came to Emma GH got actual TEENY TINY LITTLE BABIES. The twins they orignally used were only 2 weeks old.

I read somewhere long ago that in CA it's legal for babies as young as 1 month to work, but in NY babies have to be at least 3 months old. (Not sure if that's the rule anymore.) It's one thing to have to use no younger than 3 months, but they could have cast smaller babies. Not only are they big for preemies, but Jessica's was very alert too.

Natalie's son (hopefully we'll get names tomorrow) needs to marry Sierra Rose and create an extended family of awesomeness.

SH was rocking the crazy eyes today and, yeah, I am starting to feel bad for poor Marty.

I am really starting to loathe the Aubrey story because it's making nuJoey (who I liked) look the fool and it's another case of Super Kelly suspecting someone of something for no sane reason and being absolutely right. No likey Smug Kelly.

You've been spoiling us with regular posts lately, Louise! Thanks!

"Deus Ex Crazypants"? That's just genius!! I love reading your entries, Louise.

Also, I like Cutter so far, but purely for shallow reasons. Now all we need is to get him, Brody, and Joey in the steam room.

If they're gonna use babies that are that big, why didn't they just use Bree Williamson's son? He's not even 4 months old yet! And Natalie's kid is totally John's. They definitely cast that black-haired baby just to screw with our minds. But WHY do these kids not have names yet??? They need names! Those are kind of important!

As for Cutter, he's played by the guy they originally recast as Joey, so maybe Aubrey just got confused or something?

Those were some huge babies. Now I know why Natalie was screaming bloody murder during labor.

It was lovely to see the little families though. Everyone looked so happy. Even John.

Cole is a jerk. I couldn't believe it when he actually yelled at a Nun!

Those big babies make my vajayjay hurt!

I just have this feeling that Marty is going to end up kidnapping one of the twins, but the nametags will get switched up, and she ends up with Jessica's baby and then she goes on the run like Marcy did and in the end will anyone really care? And why did they have to make Aubrey a skank which totally proves Clint's point?

Yeah, Natalie's wookie howl giving birth makes a hell of a lot more sense given the size of their 'too soon' babies. If they had been allowed to cook another month, they'd have come out Eriksen sized.

My heart of stone was not moved at all during Marty's breakdown. Not surprising, really, as I've pretty much despised Marty since the first when she was a little bitch to Dying!Megan. That is NEVER COOL!

And I absolutely watched Onion Sportsdome with Matt Walton playing Alex Reiser... who is about as far from Eli as it gets, save for the smile.

Does it bother anyone else that it's been two days and neither twin has even MENTIONED naming their babies??? I mean, a name is a rather important thing to have, no?

Poor no name babies. I don't recall anyone ever talking about names. So they make a big deal over them being so early and they end up huge. I think they are even bigger than Parker on Days. They have to be the biggest preemies ever.

Louise, I am totally with you on the 11 days thing. All of a sudden Natalie was 8 months pregnant, when on NYE Jess said to Marty that her baby was due in 2 MONTHS! Nice how these premies aren't so very premie anymore. But then, this is the soap that has different time zones in the same TOWN, so hey, what's a missing fortnight to them?

I, too, am buggin' over the constant "the baby" references and NO discussion of names! Grrrr.

Nat's black-eyed baby sure is cute, though :)

I'm worried that Natalie's gonna pull an Elizabeth Webber "Jacob Martin" on us and name her kid something like Brady Logan McBain. John kept looking all serious today and saying "Natalie, we need to discuss..." and I thought he was gonna say "names for the baby" but noooo, it was always "what happened in the cabin tonight." I am legit about to name those babies myself!

The Marty/Twit storyline is still a strong one, IMO - and I'm surprised. SH did an incredible job portraying a woman in the midst of a breakdown, living in a fantasy that both fulfills her dreams and takes them away from her in a horrifying fashion. Twit, once again giving in to the quick fix, to the easy lie, marks her as, at best, morally ambiguous once again. She's taking advantage of John's trust, and doing it all on the back of a woman's mental health. How she'll come out of this is anyone's guess, except she somehow always seems to.

I wonder if this is the end of the road for Marty? I'm going to hate to lose SH, especially now that they've given her a storyline that displays her talent so well. If so, I hope that at least, Twit suffers some serious damage to her credibility when it's all over.

Poor Vicki! Her only smart child is in London. At least Jessica is a decent human being, as is Joey, though both are dumb as posts. And daughter Twit.....too bad they EVER found this one!

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