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« Small Doses | Main | Worst. Grifters. Ever. (or Worst. Hospital. Ever.) »

January 16, 2011

All Of Their Children Are Very Dull And Poorly Written

The prospect of All My Children getting a new (old?) head writer is really interfering with my ability to write about this show. I worry that saying something like, "This show is relentlessly boring. I wish the writers understood that soap operas aren't supposed to put viewers to sleep" could be interpreted as "Hey, the viewers want something they can't take their eyes away from. You can't take your eyes off of a slow-motion trainwreck, right?!?!" Not that I'm self-absorbed enough to think that ABC Daytime makes their decisions based on how much angst it would bring into my life (ALTHOUGH, that would explain A LOT about the last few years in soaps), but I am just leery of even putting it out into the universe.

That being said...something here needs to give because OH MY GOD this show is boring. NOTHING happens. And what does happen has HAPPENED BEFORE. It is like watching a never-ending repeat. A never-ending repeat of an episode that you deleted from your DVR without ever watching it in its entirety on account of the dullness. I mean, really, how many days in a row can we watch:

  • Amanda being insecure about Cara?
  • Annie becoming unglued over Marissa, of all people (I know that Melissa Claire Egan does unhinged like no other and I admit to cackling when Annie told a knocked out and groaning Marissa to shut up as she came up with a hasty cover story--"the nosy bitch surprises the intruder!"--but she deserves better than going crazy over a romantic rival AGAIN)?
  • Natalia?
  • Ryan being the recipient of fawning lines about how "kind" he is and how "heroic" he is and how "integral to the show, to the point where there's no story he shouldn't be a part of because what story can't be improved by him bugging his eyes out and pulling a douchey attitude with everyone he encounters"?


Although there is one--and I do mean one. As in "the loneliest number". The cheese standing alone. So on and so forth--bright spot: Daniel Cosgrove reassuming the role of Scott Chandler. He is so charming and twinkly and interesting.


I was one of the few people who didn't mind Adam Mayfield as Scott. I mean, he was fine. He did an adequate job with what the writers gave him...which was nothing. I don't know if it's because Daniel Cosgrove is more experienced and better at bringing little things to each line, or if the writing for the character has improved dramatically or if I am just still utterly charmed by his turn as Freddy Mason on Dirty Sexy Money, but I am so enjoying his return so far and I feel like he has chemistry to spare with Stephanie Gatschet AND Rebecca Budig. Can you imagine a triangle between the three of them? Greenlee and Madison sparring over a love interest that was actually worth a damn?! It would be all kinds of entertaining. So it definitely won't ever, ever happen.


I thought it was me, but AMC is like Groundhog Day (I think that was the name of that movie) over and over again, nothing ever changes.

I hope one day, before I delete this show from my DVR, that Ryan doesn't win. He deserves to lose for all the sh*t he puts his women through.

My fondest wish is that they SORAS Emma to a teenager and she can be the one who makes him pay.

Mallory, I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss the idea that Brian Frons doesn't read this blog and then do things specifically to enrage/bore/disgust you. The man knows no depths to his depravity. (I blame him for global warming, you know.)

As someone who hasn't seen more than fifteen minutes of AMC in years, and never really was much into it even in my most soapsessive periods, I have to say I'm sad about Adam Mayfield. He's dreamy, I think; I like a hunk with a slight touch of nerd to him, and this Daniel Cosgrove seems much more conventionally soapy hunky. Plus, I was always amused by the fact that Adam Mayfield really looked like he could have been David Canary's son, which just goes to show how inept AMC is even when it does something right, since Scott was adopted.

I liked Adam Mayfield, too, and am sad that he's gone. He DOES look like David Canary, Bourgeois Nerd! I always thought that was so cute, esp. b/c Scott was adopted! I wish him the best.

I have to say, though, that I love that Daniel Cosgrove is back. He's just so charming and I love that he has chemistry with Stephanie Gatschet. Even though Scott is in cahoots with Greenlee, he seems really genuine with Madison. That could be really cute.

I know this is an unpopular opinion, but I am just not amused by Annie and never have been. I don't know where they're going with her, but the only time I've found this character rootable is when she hated Ryan's guts.

Also, Sarah Glendening as Marissa....I'm kinda not hating it. OMG, I think I need to lie down.

Annie WAS at her best when she hated Ryan. I'm not in the JR/Annie fan club, mostly because of JR. I just can't believe he's the adult of the family in the business world. He still seems like an out-of-control surly teenager who needs a timeout from Dixie and a paddling from Adam.
I know it's too much to ask, but I wish they had gone the Janet Green route with Annie, given her the storyline of a woman who truly grappled with her mental health issues and comes out the other side. (As much as I enjoy Kate Collins, I wasn't happy to see how they regressed Janet after we'd watched her painfully win her battle for mental health.) They could have done that in the context of a relationship, with Annie and JR, and it would have meant more than this slapstick-crazy thing they're doing. Just my opinion. I think MCE is very talented and could have made it a gripping storyline.

As for Marissa, I think this version is even more irritating. Before she was boring with a sense of entitlement. Now she's smug and entitled. And still not all that smart. Which, I guess, makes her even more Kwak's kid and Babe's sister.

As usual, you are on point again as it relates to AMC. My biggest fear, however, is that Frons will once again try to "recreate the magic" by rehiring Megan McTavish and Ryan can become even more irritating than he is now. If that is even possible.

The only upside of the show of late is that KWAK is AWOL, Jake appears to have developed a pulse (not exciting, but at least evidence of life), David is awake, and NuNuScott is truly engaging. But Otherwise, the rest of the show is a snore-fest.

And just in case Frons does read this column. I MISS THORSTEN KAYE!

Mallory, once again you are spot on.... I've said this before & will say it again, Mallory should be running AMC, if not ABC daytime, or at least writing the show....JMO

I also agree that the infestation of Ryan Lavery got old a long time ago, but it's even worse now...

He's already in one front burner story Ryan/GL/Maddie....and now they handed him Kendall's s/l....

Kendall should be the one to search for answers about what happened to Zach, but no.... Instead, we get the idiot who hated Zach, who Zach hated, who infested every damn s/l that Zach, Kendall, Zendall ever had...

Even in death, Zach/Kendall/Zendall can't get a break....from Ryass and neither can we...

Kendall isn't weak... She's strong, independent, fiesty, kick butt character who can handle this..

Having Ryass decide that Kendall isn't strong enough just cements what an obnoxious abusive control jerk he is... Not to mention, how unwanted & unneeded he is..

I had hoped to see Kendall figuring out something wasn't right....Maybe asking Jesse/Tad anyone for a bit of help, but with Kendall calling the shots...

Instead, we get Frons pet in our faces...

The show just sucks....

In case Mr. Frons does read this... Not only does the show suck, but your decision making sucks & your killing ABC daytime...

Sorry, had to go there..

Kudos to Mallory....

Ugh, Daniel Cosgrove is so much better (and somehow much cuter) on AMC than he was on ATWT. He was such a chemistry suck on that show as Chris. But I'm enjoying him a lot now.

That is so not true! In "My love will last 4ever" kids are pretty smart, even more than grown-ups...

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