Last Week in Llanview (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb)
The bomb being, of course, any attempt at some semblance of logic and sense. I don't care. I love it. Could pregnant Natalie in her bridal gear carry an unconscious Marty through a staffed courthouse, put her into the car, drive her up to the lodge, and drag her into the place, all without stumbling or getting noticed? No chance. I don't care.
Who would care when it gave us a seriously old-school soap scene with a pregnant bride in high-heeled boots holding a crazy lady hostage with a shotgun? Could anyone not have fun watching these scenes? I know I complain about the lack of logic on this show all the time, but when the payoff is good, it's worth the shameful suspension of disbelief. We even got the obligatory crushing-the-captive's-phone-with-the-spike-heel bit:
What's not to love?
As far as storyline advancement, it was nice to see that Natalie saw that her only way out was to come clean (as she obviously should have done months ago). No sense in resisting it on principle just because the woman lording it over her got the information illegally and immorally, but since this is a soap, things just can't be that simple. The tables were turned as Natalie went into premature labor, though she was in denial about it. This allowed Marty to show some doctorly concern, which in turn allowed Natalie to remind Marty that she's not exactly an OB-GYN and, to boot, is in fact a lousy shrink as it is (a line that I'm sure got many cheers in many, many households). But a collapse gave Marty control of the shotgun, allowed her to return the phone-destroying favor (but with a lot less fashion panache), and put her in the big moral decision-making test that daytime loves so much.
From what I've heard around in addition to the comments here, various fans on either side have been incredibly frustrated that this storyline seems designed to unfairly represent one character to make the other look better somehow, but I am not in that camp at all -- both these women are completely in the wrong, hilariously and awesomely. Each has had the upper hand at different moments, and always for the wrongest reasons. I love that it's not some black-and-white moral battle; that it gives us shotguns and bitch-slaps and hyperbolic language and all of that equals pure joy. Which of course means that Marty did not, in fact, have a crisis of conscience that made her an automatic hero. Instead she left Natalie behind.
Oopsie! Pregnant lady about to waaaaay-prematurely deliver, all by her lonesome in the middle of the woods. Though I might don a white dress and black boots and hold someone hostage with a shotgun if John Effing McBain somehow ends up being the hero, especially since Natalie's complete disappearance in the middle of her sister's medical crisis has left him nothing more than mildly nonplussed. (Then again, is there any kind of nonplussed other than "mild?")
Speaking of her sister's medical crisis... um... OH NO JESSICA AND HER UNBORN BABY ARE IN TROUBLE.
It is truly shocking and a refreshing brand new storyline! It did give us a nice, heated Viki and Clint scene, though.
I seriously cannot wait till Clint's machinations are revealed because Viki seems to be the only one whose admonishments ever seem to get to him, and she will rip him a new one. I adore these two in scenes together. On the other hand, this latest complication is going to lead Charlie back to being Sad Sack Charlie, which is the worst kind of tedium. And really? He's going to give up his sobriety for something that might happen? Can't we put this off until something does happen?
But speaking of alcoholics, Dorian won the week for me by going in disguise to spy on Echo at an AA meeting. I seriously don't know what kind of aging goth emo witch she's supposed to be disguised as, but it is spectacular.
Totally incognito! This woman would certainly not raise an eyebrow!
My favorite was the moment she actually did some creepy strut-dance up to the front of the room.
Now, if I'm honestly going to respond to the week, I suppose I do have to mention the Fords and their dimwit women. There's nothing to say about Ford and Langston or James and Starr since their scenes did not advance their stories at all this week (unless one considers Ford and Langston moving their sex date up to Valentine's Day to be "advancement"), but Nate had his hearing and the judge accepted Tea's motion to dismiss (based on the notion that there are several other people who have yet to be eliminated from the suspect list for Eddie's murder). At some point before this attempt at dismissal, Inez told Nate something that we were not privy to, but whatever it was led Nate to give his mother some really boring looks of significance in the courtroom.
Which in turn led to his mother giving him some really boring looks back.
Which in turn led to Nate very non-dramatically telling the judge that he should not dismiss the case, because he in fact is the one who killed Eddie. This was terribly upsetting to some people in the courtroom, particularly his mother who was so devastated that she reacted as follows:
Okay, seriously. Someone needs to tell Jessica Leccia that while "subtle" or "understated" are often refreshing in such a melodramatic medium, you gotta freakin' give us something, woman. She looks like she's worried she forgot to feed the hamster.
Meanwhile, Aubrey's up to something naughty with someone kind of hot, David is back and it's killing us, Bo and Nora are heartbreaking but Bo seems to finally be getting a clue (I fear that Clint's involvement is somehow going to turn Inez into a victim, though, even when everyone finds out she drugged him and that will make my head explode-y), and the slappiest of awesome slaps occurred.
The box Eli left Blair had a painting of her in it (circa around 1995 or 1996, right?), dated 2003.
Any speculation on what this is all about?
Not a bad start to 2011, One Life to Live.