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« How To Construct A Quality Episode In Three Easy Steps | Main | Wedded Bliss or a Wedded Miss? »

February 25, 2011

This Is About As Subtle As A Katy Perry Video

ALL MY CHILDREN WRITERS: Remember how Reverend Ricky isn't actually a reverend and is actually BAD?
MALLORY: Of course I remember that, we just found out a few days a--
AMC WRITERS: We know that was a complex plot twist, so we don't blame you at all for not remembering.
MALLORY: I rememb--
AMC WRITERS: Don't worry, we're going to remind you. See here, when Ricky is lurking in Kendall's house, hiding from Erica, ready to get his bludgeon on?
MALLORY: Please don't say that.
AMC WRITERS: That was pretty bad. Are you still with us? Should we go slower? Okay. Ricky talks to a lady about being evil.

Henchwoman: You remember that you're not really a minister? You're the exact opposite of a minister. You kill people.
Ricky: That's not all I do.
Henchwoman: Well, you get my point.
Ricky: I know what I am, and I know that I have a cover to protect f I'm going to keep that money flowing from those casinos to us, oh, not to mention keeping us from going to prison.
Henchwoman: Now what?
Ricky: Now? Now I get Kendall to rely on me. We're friends, but I need to get closer to her if she's going to lead me to what were looking for.

AMC WRITERS: "Evil" is another word for BAD.
MALLORY: Yeah, okay, he's bad. So, question, if he's not really a minister, does that mean that Ryan and Greenlee aren't really--
AMC WRITERS: We knew you'd have questions. See, when Erica says things like this:

Erica, to Ricky: You've already been such a help to Kendall and our whole family.

It's funny, because he's actually BAD! That's called ironing.
MALLORY: Irony.
AMC WRITERS: Bless you.

Erica: Apparently, Ryan Lavery has continued the investigation into Zach's crash. Apparently, he found this box. A metal box that Zach had on the plane with him.
Ricky: A box?
Erica: I guess it was important enough for Zach to have it with him on the plane.
Ricky: OH. This box...where is it?

AMC WRITERS: See? He's PLOTTING and she's just happy that he's being so kind and supportive.
MALLORY: Ha...ha. If only she could have heard the loud, creepy, ominous music that accompanied that scene! Then she'd know for sure that he's evil.
AMC WRITERS: ...she can't hear the music. She's not real. Duh.

Ricky: You're a very lucky girl to be surrounded by all these people who care about you.
Kendall: I know, I am.
Ricky: And Ryan Lavery, he's really been there for you, especially since you lost your husband.
Kendall: Well, we've been friends forever.
Ricky: The fact that he hired his own investigator to look into the crash. WOW! That is some friend.
Kendall: He just wanted to make sure that everything was done.
Ricky: So...your mother said that they found a BOX? Something about a box.

AMC WRITERS: See, it's funny because he's BAD and he wants the box for BAD reasons and is really subtly trying to find out about the box.
MALLORY: I don't think you know what subtle means.
AMC WRITERS: I think you have "us" confused with "you".

Serious questions, though:

  • If Ricky isn't actually a minister, that means that Ryan and Greenlee's wedding is invalid, correct? Oh, good god, we are going to have to sit through yet ANOTHER Rylee wedding.
  • So...did Zach just carry around this lockbox with him (containing a letter for Kendall that says "In the event of my untimely death") at all times? "Hey, I'm running to Starbucks to get a latte, you want anything? Ooops, I almost forgot my metal lockbox!"
  • Was Kendall's dress hella low-cut or what?

Divider

I don't know what is wrong with me, because I have been down this road before and just last week, when I was talking about Scott and Madison, I said that I should not and would not register my approval of them, lest something terrible happen to them, writing-wise, but I can't contain myself: Tad and Cara? All sorts of adorable.

I loved their cuteness trying to get Liza to believe that they are actually engaged. Jamie Luner had a pitch-perfect "I need to vomit/I wish I were dead" look on her face during her interrogation and Michael E. Knight's gleeful petulance was just so much fun to watch.

Liza: You love her?
Tad: YUP.

Tad: She is so much more than beautiful. That is not your average, garden variety spicy tomato! She is smart and she's loyal. She's brave. She's been through the wars, Liza [The wars?!?! --Ed.] and she gets me.
Liza: She gets you?
Tad: She gets me, yeah. Do you speak English? She gets me. She understands the good and the bad and god knows, there's plenty of that and she loves me anyway. And newsflash, Liza! Something you never thought about: she actually makes me feel good about myself. What more do I have to say?

And I loved their scene at the end of the episode.

Cara: [Amanda] probably hates what I've done to your family.
Tad: Who cares? I don't care how she feels about you. I care how you feel about you. You were willing to save Jake's life, so I'm marrying you to save yours. End of story.
Cara: Oh, I think you're being too kind about this.
Tad: No, I'm not. A guy can do a lot worse than being married to you and look at it this way: you've got a good income, you smell nice, you're not entirely unattractive to look at.
Cara: Thank you! So sweet.

Cute, right? I know that the age difference should bother me, and if it were two other characters, I'd probably be screaming "ICK NAST GROSS" through a megaphone, but MEK and Lindsay Hartley work so well together.

(ALSO: she has the greatest hair on the planet or is, at the very least, tied with Megan Ward. It's so thick and SO shiny and sometimes I just stare at it and sigh happily which makes me seem like a super creep...)

Divider

Speaking, as I was a second ago, of Amanda--she confessed to Jake that she was the one who called immigration about Cara. I love Chrishell Stause to pieces, but am lukewarm about Ricky Paull Goldin who, I've found, either overdoes it or is so lethargic that he might as well have a robot stand-in, and Jake and Amanda as a couple have been stuck in neutral for so long. So I was all sorts of shocked and delighted by how raw and well-acted their scenes were today. 

Amanda spent the first part of the episode lurking around the hospital nervously, biting her lip and practically screaming "Someone did something wrong! You don't think it was me, do you? It wasn't!" She hysterically interrupted Griffin and Jake's conversation to scream at Griffin about how all of this is Cara's fault, and then kept her charade up for a while longer before even Jake realized that something was seriously wrong.

Amanda: I heard her, Jake. I heard her. What she said about you, how she wanted to get back with you, the love of her life.
Jake: Oh my god, she was joking, she was kidding!
Amanda: Well, that's not funny.
Jake: She was being facetious and because you overheard something and heard it wrong. Now someone's in danger. They're going to get sent out of this country. They're going to be on a hit list.
Amanda: I was trying to protect my family. 
Jake: On a hit list!
Amanda: You never told me about a hit list. I didn't know Cara would be in danger.
Jake: That's not the kind of thing you bring somebody into, right?
Amanda: Why? We're not supposed to keep anything from each other.
Jake: Because it's dangerous! Because I don't want you involved in anything like that.
Amanda: Before she came to town you never kept anything from me.
Jake: Don't. That's not--this is different. That's nothing to do with it.
Amanda: I need you to understand this. If I knew Cara would be in any danger, I'd never, never call immigration, but you were so intent on protecting her.
Jake: No. Turn it. You're blaming everybody else, you're blaming Cara, you're the one who made the phone call. YOU did it.
Amanda: I get it! I made a mistake. I was trying to protect my  marriage! I made a mistake and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry and now I'm afraid that you're never going to forgive me.

I am so used to the two of them just mooning over each other that it was a serious shock to see this side of them. I really--this is so bizarre to say--enjoyed it.

Comments

Dude, I am so glad someone else is liking Tad/Cara. I find myself hoping for the old get-married-for-one-reason-but-eventually-fall-in-love soap cliche. And yes, the age difference should totally be tripping me up, but I can't help it. They're just adorbz. Plus, anything that annoys Jake this much is fine by me. HATE that guy.

(And if I had LH's hair, I would never stop staring at myself in the mirror.)

I think AMC has been getting better. Tad and Cara are all kinds of cute. It feels so good to actually like Tad again after being annoyed with him on a regular basis for the last few years.

I loved the scenes with Tad and Liza. They were funny.

This Amanda/Jake/Cara/Tad story is enjoyable.

It's good to have the light-hearted moments again instead of all dark all the time. I seriously thought we wouldn't see light with this show again.

As for the Ricky thing....I agree. He really was cute and charming and I liked his growing friendship with Kendall, but now he's EVUL. It was nice while it lasted.

Has anyone noticed that this is the second ABC daytime show to have an actor that stars/starred in commercials playing characters that start out good but end up evil? I guess this means if the actress that plays Flo in the Progressive commercials shows up on General Hospital, we'll know exactly the type of character she'll play.

I know the "Ricky is EVIL" anvils are falling hard and fast, but I'm enjoying the story anway. Sue me, I like Kendall having suitors while she's grieving and oblivious, because even with the EVIL anvils I saw a couple of hints that Ricky (and really, shouldn't we have known he was evil from the name alone?) has a thing for the lovely widow, and lord knows Griffin can't stop the mooning.

And a lot of the rest of the show is delightful.

The thing about the Ricky story is how contrived it is. I laughed at the typed page going to a random printer, that "happens" to be in the family room. When did that printer get there and where is the computer? Why would Zach fear he was in trouble AFTER he flew from PV to CA and not before? Wouldn't it have made more sense that the letter be in his lawyers hands or a safe or a lock box, in case an untimely death happened on the way to CA? What changed why was the ride home going to kill him?

Where did Zach get the lock box? He only had a duffle bag on him. So am I to believe he went down to the hotel lobby, typed a love letter to his wife, printed it, went to the store to purchase a lock box and then carried it around on a plane he feared would be sabataged? What happened to email? or Fed Ex? This storyline is so contrived and so full of holes that it makes a potentially entertaining s/l, bad. I can't imagine where they are taking this. If it isn't to finding Zach alive and well and being held hostage by the BCB's, it isn't worth watching.

The writing, especially for the Ricky/Griffin/Kendall stuff is pathetic--for all the reasons Mallory gave and for the sheer implausibility of every single thing. I, too, love Tad/Cara and Scott/Madison, which only makes me fear for how little time it will take for these writers to totally screw them up. Both have the potential for a great marriage-of-convenience-turns-to-love story, which is a rather trite plot but which works because of the chemistry of the four actors involved. However I'm sure Cara will soon be on her way back to Jake and possibly Madison to Ryan. Hope not. BTW, I have absolutely no problem with the age difference between Tad and Cara. MEK deserves a good story and these two are adorable together. I hope Zach comes back soon to rescue Kendall from this whole stupid thing with Ricky and Griffin.

I'm surprised and glad that TPTB are giving Jake and Amanda some genuine conflict to deal with that doesn't end with a kiss or them going off to bed to show that that problem has been quickly resolved. A couple on a soap is only as strong as when it survives or just plain ole deals with a conflict, and Jamanda have been skating through AMC like it's Disney on Ice. The only positive thing I can say about the writing for Ricky is that at least I don't have to sit through a triangle where Kendall is in the middle and Griffin and Ricky are the two sides. If all these mentions of Zach and the Red Wings and Always, Only You, and how much he knew about the evil casino people and when he knew it--if all this doesn't lead to Zach returning from the soap dead, then AMC will have teased Zendall fans with Zach and Thorsten Kaye references (and photos) with zero payoff. Because of that fear on my part, I'm watching this story warily. Kendall ending up with Dr. Snoozefest is not the kind of payoff I want to see--ever.

I agree with what Kathy J and Abigail S. are saying. We are hearing ZACH this, ZACH that. We want this to mean the payoff is ZACH/Thorsten Kaye returning to Kendall. I love that name Dr. Snoozefest.

They showed a scene last week where Ryan and Griffin were in Kendall's hospital room. I kept saying where have I seen those facial expressions before, as they panned over to Griffin.

Then I thought good lord Ryan has been teaching Griffin from his book " Great Ryan Lavery Facial Expressions: One Look For Every Scene Whether You Are Sad, Angry or Thinking". JMO


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