Greek Chorus In Fuschia Lipstick
Seems that yet again Tess was somehow the voice of reason on today's One Life to Live. Okay, "reason" is an overstatement, as there's clearly nothing reasonable about wanting to marry Ford, even if it's just for some sort of not-very-well-thought-out payout. However, her complete and total disdain for him on every level continues to be a delight.
"You're not my type. Do you really think this lumpy, waxed body is something that would turn me on? Put your shirt on before I lose my breakfast."
About Clint: "Enough to forget about the fact that you practically raped his daughter when she was helpless?? If you think he's gonna let you anywhere near his grandchild, think again."
"And then Clint's team of lawyers are gonna say how you slept with Jessica when she thought she was in high school. You're gonna look like a pedophile. And then he's gonna trot in every woman you've ever used and thrown away. By the time he's done, you'll never see your son again. Hell, you probably won't be allowed near schools!"
It was a good day.
Ford manhandling Tess ("for Jess's own good" or some such bullshit) is making me blow a gasket, though. If we're supposed to be impressed by his attempts at making sure Tess doesn't damage Jessica's body, they are barking up the wrong tree. He comes off as controlling and abusive, nothing else.
Today had the best Natalie and John scenes I have ever seen. I know, I'm exaggerating again, but I thought both Michael Easton and Melissa Archer were on fire -- and yes, I've just paid my very first compliment to Michael Easton. You read it right. John was literally spitting mad, which was fabulous.
And Nat was workin' real hard to have a leg to stand on, but remained peg-legged (though I'm glad she got to point out that she and John weren't together when she and Brody hooked up but... John could quite easily argue that he broke up with Natalie before sleeping with Kelly, which he did, and for some reason I kind of love that Natalie doesn't see it that way at all). And it's somehow weirdly refreshing that someone got busted after a one-night stand is just basically all, "Yeah, I did it. So?"
I love that Rex is now allegedly going to tell Bo about Clint's role in David's Moroccan imprisonment as if this will somehow properly get back at Clint. Oh that Rex, he's such a good man! He'd let Bo's son languish in prison in exchange for Gigi's tuition, but not anymore now that it turns out Clint is extra mean.
The fact that Rex hasn't revealed this information thus far speaks volumes about the kind of man he is, so I'm a little exhausted of hearing about what a "man of character" Rex has become.
Also, Starr continued to be an idiot. The first thing she asks Langston about in the morning is how her big Valentine's Day date went, knowing full well that Ford found out the night prior that he has offspring? I guess it should be no shock that she thinks news like that might just make someone no more than late for a date, considering her prom date managed to show up at prom while he was imprisoned. But then they gave her a little bit of brain back by letting her remember that Tess might be at play which, okay, Starr has been a victim of Tess so it works for me. But folks on canvas knowing that Tess is out but not knowing where she is is not particularly indicative that we're going to get to the end of this anytime soon.
Checking in with my usual "other works" report: I saw Kim Zimmer (Echo) in a play on Saturday night. I've really only ever seen her on OLTL and the various Guiding Light clips over the years, and she's terrific at the old-school soap style but I wasn't sure what to expect. It's a low-key play with a rotating cast, but it's a lot of fun and has some strong, heartfelt moments. Zimmer really was one of the standouts; she was extremely generous to her castmates and handled the whole thing like a pro. It made me hope she gets to play more scenes on the show as grandmother to Shane and not just meddling interloper (inexplicably obsessed with Charlie).