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« Rylee Part 987: The Sickening | Main | Time To Go, Bobby Ford »

February 14, 2011

Keeping It In The Family

I caught exactly three minutes of General Hospital today and it was, of course, just my luck that the three minutes I caught were the most disturbing.

Johnny: Did you learn nothing from Sonny's murder trial?
Lisa: What does Sonny have to do with this? [This is a sign that Lisa is a relative newcomer in town. Sonny has everything to do with everything, Niles! --Ed.]
Johnny: Claudia. She was smart and fearless and focused until she fell in love, fell for Sonny. Fell in love with him. She wanted nothing more than for sonny to love her, to look into Sonny's eyes and see anything but contempt.
Lisa: Ow.
Johnny: Sorry. There was nothing that she wouldn't do to try to get Sonny to love her. But he didn't. Just like Patrick doesn't love you. She was fixated on something unattainable, and it destroyed her. So do yourself a favor. Step back off the brink, all right? You're a beautiful woman and a brilliant surgeon. You don't need Patrick.
Lisa: I need you. Is that it?
Johnny: It wasn't a come-on. It was a warning to try to get you to stop doing the same thing Claudia did.
Lisa: Stay out of my way, 'cause you can't keep me from Patrick. No one can.

So Johnny is attracted to Lisa, who...reminds him of his sister? Come again?

I mean, I see his point in that Lisa and Claudia are both less "characters" than they are "wholly unlikable vessels for a series of ever more ridiculous plot points". Also, they are both staggeringly inept when it comes to their evil plotting. Also also, bitches be crazy. So, okay, I guess he's onto something. And the Zacchara family never really seemed to consider incest a taboo, so I guess this is all very much in character, but still!

Hopefully Bob Guza goes all out in this homage to, um, himself and Lisa winds up on the wrong side of an axe-wielding teenager.


Congrats, Mallory - you managed to choke down 3 minutes more of this crapfest than I've been able to in the last month!

PS - If you are in need of an antacid or some Pepto, let me know where to send it. I've really enjoyed reading your take on so much, its the least I can offer. Although, really, I have to ask ... why? Why do you subject yourself to this?

You should've kept watching to see Patrick swoop in and kiss Robin if I do say so myself very HOTLY!!! It has been far too long since we have seen it.

And yeah ICAM on the vileness that is the Loon and Johnny. Makes me want to vomit.

Unfortunately, we'll probably have to wait until Emma is a teenager to take an axe to Lisa.

I'm not realy sure it's smart of GH to compare Lisa to Claudia given how horribly Claudia failed as a character. Also I think there was more inappropriate chemistry between Claudia and Johnny than there is between Johnny and Lisa. I could get behind Johnny and Lisa if there was some really hot chem there, but so far it's pretty meh. And it would also help if someone fixed Lisa's hair and makeup. I've seen Brianna Brown in other stuff and she looks so good. What the hell is going on here?

Sigh. They fired RH and GH still hands out a daily dose of poop?

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