A Wedding In Ruins (or What Just Hit That Fan?)
Okay, this'll probably be ranty and wandering. What can I say? It's all goin' down.
Today's One Life to Live was tough on the soul for obvious reasons. First of all, the awkwardness. Like yesterday, the wedding scenes were full of weird pauses when people (like Clint and Natalie) should have been trying to say anything to stop Vimal from talking. It should've come out when Vimal yelled it over Clint's protests, but instead, Clint just kept letting him talk. And I would've loved to see the beat played in which Natalie had a moment of hope that hers was the paternity test that Vimal changed and therefore Liam really is John's, but they steamrolled right past that possibility (despite John alleging it later).
Today we got the explanation that basically half the town missed the wedding because they all had hangovers from the bachelor/bachelorette parties. Weak. I can't even begin to count the weddings I've plowed through with a bachelorette hangover. You just freaking do it. Sometimes it involves mimosas.
And am I to understand that Matthew was too hungover to go to the wedding? Because seriously, this is just nonsense to have Clint's machinations doled out piecemeal like this -- which reminds me, if Rex doesn't come out with the truth about what he knows regarding David now? He is just as bad as Clint. 100% as bad.
Also, it seemed to be another one of those "Aren't the Ford brothers decent, deep-down?" episodes. Were we supposed to find Ford in his little hot dog uniform doing an incredibly creepy hot dog rap somehow endearing? And what was that nonsense with Langston being all appalled that Clint wouldn't help Ford get a job back that he was rightfully fired from and he was all, "What I did was kinda bad, Lang," as if his recognizing that it was a bad act makes him a swell, repentant guy? And then Langston's nonsense about, "Sure, but how long do you have to pay for it?" WHAT? He hasn't paid for it at all. Okay, he got beat up a couple of times. He's not paying for it now. Not magically getting a job back that you lost by knowingly violating your employment contract isn't "paying" for something. It's what he deserves. Why the hell should Clint do him a favor? EVER?
And I literally could've vomited when Ford was all of a sudden the fucking toddler whisperer with Hope. Out of nowhere, Ford likes kids! This is news.
And were we supposed to be charmed that James didn't sleep with that other chick? I wasn't. Especially since it was Michelle who stopped it. On the other hand, I do mildly appreciate that he would've gone through with it just like 98% of real-life heterosexual American 19-year-old males. Sometimes that's refreshing on a soap. But it certainly doesn't make James more interesting or anything I care about.
John marching Natalie off to the guillotine room was hysterical, by the way. And why was the family so much more furious and disgusted with Clint when learning about this DNA switch as opposed to the one regarding Rex? I mean even though this, too, is playing God and is underhanded, etc., etc., isn't it a little more understandable? He did it so his daughter wouldn't be in pain, wrong as it was.
Honestly, as much I enjoy Natalie and do not enjoy John, I was thrilled when he finally flipped on her today. Her behavior was pretty pathetic and even I wanted to slap her. The double "I slept with Brody," "I slept with Natalie" confessions coming out simultaneously at the end was pretty awesome. I fear looking forward to tomorrow because it means self-righteousness from John and traditional tears from Jessica, and yet I'm looking forward to it anyway. And I'm going to calm myself with the fact that any number of things might've happened to those paternity test results, and this is not necessarily proof positive that Ford is Ryder's father or even that Brody is Liam's. It's just damn good drama for now.
Destiny out! (Seriously, what was the point of her today?)