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« In Case You Missed The Wedding... | Main | When The Ends Do Not Justify The Means »

February 09, 2011

A Wedding In Ruins (or What Just Hit That Fan?)

Okay, this'll probably be ranty and wandering. What can I say? It's all goin' down.

Today's One Life to Live was tough on the soul for obvious reasons. First of all, the awkwardness. Like yesterday, the wedding scenes were full of weird pauses when people (like Clint and Natalie) should have been trying to say anything to stop Vimal from talking. It should've come out when Vimal yelled it over Clint's protests, but instead, Clint just kept letting him talk. And I would've loved to see the beat played in which Natalie had a moment of hope that hers was the paternity test that Vimal changed and therefore Liam really is John's, but they steamrolled right past that possibility (despite John alleging it later). 

Today we got the explanation that basically half the town missed the wedding because they all had hangovers from the bachelor/bachelorette parties. Weak. I can't even begin to count the weddings I've plowed through with a bachelorette hangover. You just freaking do it. Sometimes it involves mimosas.

And am I to understand that Matthew was too hungover to go to the wedding? Because seriously, this is just nonsense to have Clint's machinations doled out piecemeal like this -- which reminds me, if Rex doesn't come out with the truth about what he knows regarding David now? He is just as bad as Clint. 100% as bad. 

Also, it seemed to be another one of those "Aren't the Ford brothers decent, deep-down?" episodes. Were we supposed to find Ford in his little hot dog uniform doing an incredibly creepy hot dog rap somehow endearing? And what was that nonsense with Langston being all appalled that Clint wouldn't help Ford get a job back that he was rightfully fired from and he was all, "What I did was kinda bad, Lang," as if his recognizing that it was a bad act makes him a swell, repentant guy? And then Langston's nonsense about, "Sure, but how long do you have to pay for it?" WHAT? He hasn't paid for it at all. Okay, he got beat up a couple of times. He's not paying for it now. Not magically getting a job back that you lost by knowingly violating your employment contract isn't "paying" for something. It's what he deserves. Why the hell should Clint do him a favor? EVER?

And I literally could've vomited when Ford was all of a sudden the fucking toddler whisperer with Hope. Out of nowhere, Ford likes kids! This is news.

And were we supposed to be charmed that James didn't sleep with that other chick? I wasn't. Especially since it was Michelle who stopped it. On the other hand, I do mildly appreciate that he would've gone through with it just like 98% of real-life heterosexual American 19-year-old males. Sometimes that's refreshing on a soap. But it certainly doesn't make James more interesting or anything I care about.

John marching Natalie off to the guillotine room was hysterical, by the way. And why was the family so much more furious and disgusted with Clint when learning about this DNA switch as opposed to the one regarding Rex? I mean even though this, too, is playing God and is underhanded, etc., etc., isn't it a little more understandable? He did it so his daughter wouldn't be in pain, wrong as it was.

Honestly, as much I enjoy Natalie and do not enjoy John, I was thrilled when he finally flipped on her today. Her behavior was pretty pathetic and even I wanted to slap her. The double "I slept with Brody," "I slept with Natalie" confessions coming out simultaneously at the end was pretty awesome. I fear looking forward to tomorrow because it means self-righteousness from John and traditional tears from Jessica, and yet I'm looking forward to it anyway. And I'm going to calm myself with the fact that any number of things might've happened to those paternity test results, and this is not necessarily proof positive that Ford is Ryder's father or even that Brody is Liam's. It's just damn good drama for now.

Destiny out! (Seriously, what was the point of her today?)

Comments

Hey, no snappies?

All the non-wedding scenes this week seem pointless. Does Starr and her pathetic love life really need to be on every day? That girl is a black hole of five years of failed front burner stories and romances. I don't understand her appeal. She was cute and spunky as a kid. She's a limp noodle as a young woman. Perhaps a recast is in order.

Jessica's gasping and crying was exhausting. I guess I feel bad for her, but I actually felt worse for Brody than her. Jess is a grown woman who comes off as a little girl who can't handle shit. Brody, on the other hand, exuded a quiet strength and heartbreak of a grown man. I feel like he needs more than Jess could ever offer him.

Speaking of exhausting, Natalie trying to lie right up until the end was surreal. I love that dragging it out made John snap though. I hope she makes him cry next.

What breaks my heart is that Natalie thinks John and Jess were worth all the lies. She didn't just hurt them, she hurt herself and she lost herself. It annoys me that she still thinks so little of herself. Natalie is made of awesomeness, but she always thinks the people she loves aren't going to stick. She runs herself ragged trying to be something she isn't. Trying to be something LESS than what she actually is. Gack!!

I'm thrilled the truth is coming out. The sooner it does, the sooner Nat can grovel, the sooner they can spit on her, and the sooner she can move on to her next story - hopefully one that involves relationships where she doesn't have to pretend, lie, or hate herself. John can't handle Natalie and he certainly doesn't deserve such an awesome woman. Jess ain't all that great shakes a sister either. I hope Natalie can rediscover herself and be true to herself- as corny as that sounds.

I've liked this story, but I'm glad it's coming to a head. I want Nat's next story to be empowering for her and I hope that she never has to hide her light under John's bushel- ever again.

At least Ford and Langston acknowledge that he did something wrong. They may be playing it down a lot, but it's much better than the opinion everybody else seems to have.

That's how I know Ford is actually awesome and the real victim!

I really, really, really hope that Ford isn't Ryder's father. He's a disgusting rapist and has not taken responsibility for what he did to Jess yet. He does not deserve to have Ryder in his life at all.

Boo! Ford is the baby Daddy to Ryder.

Where in the heck was Matthew?

I'm going to simply enjoy the fact that OLTL had me eating my dinner without so much as remembering what was on the plate!

Natalie is a lying liar that lies and I love it! I hope she squashes John's dream of being Liam's baby Daddy so that I can see another round of "Le Moan" with Brody. Seriously, I hate how Natalie turns herself into a pretzel plus working at the police station in order to be around McBore. Let's hope Natalie goes back to work at BE and moves in with Clint, Renee and Nigel since Viki is going to be upset that she and Brody hit the sheets.

At least there was no mention of Shaun and the hot dog. Lawd, that was disgusting and nauseating.

Knope - You are my hero! I could not express my opinion of Starr as beautifully as you have so I am quoting it: "Does Starr and her pathetic love life really need to be on every day? That girl is a black hole of five years of failed front burner stories and romances. I don't understand her appeal. She was cute and spunky as a kid. She's a limp noodle as a young woman. Perhaps a recast is in order."

Amen!

If rapist Ford is the father of Ryder than the trade off better be that Brody is really the father of Liam. Because otherwise I'm going to be sending some serious hate mail to Ron and Co.

Now that the cats are out of the bag and Hope the Magic Baby has cured Marty I hope they move her story forward. I do not want Susan Haskell's potential by either having her shacking up with John again or be put back on the backburner.

Since it's more likely that Vimal will be prosecuted over Clint I am also hoping that they put Tea to good use and defend him so he gets off because I don't want him to go to jail. I would like to see him and Rama stick around and make a whole lot more trouble. I'm pretty sure Aubrey and Cutter are next on that chopping block. Not that I really want to see Joey & Kelly together because I'd rather have a bushel of lemons in my eye but I'm kind of sick of their faux incest bit. Vimal would also make an interesting side kick for Todd.

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Kudos to you, Knope and to you, LadyBug! That's Natalie and I'm ready for our Nat to be strong, awesome woman again!

Loved the soapy wedding...I agree, they've missed a lot of beats.I think I would have made an effort to stop the talking before Vimal spilled though.Its like they were all paralyzed by the awesome clothes Rama & Vimal were wearing.


Seriously...making Ford a giant weiner? I mean did ANYONE think this out here, folks? In a way though, isn't it the perfect alter ego for Ford?? Such a waste of airtime. Gah!

I FF though all teen scenes anyway but watching the weiner costume in FF was beyond funny.

I still bet the babydaddies aren't done playing musical chairs....I just am so sad if Brody ends up kid-less. ML is SO good!!

Yeah Nat...John is so not worthy of you...move on honey.

Hope they can keep the Bollywood cuties Vimal & Rama. How cute!

Did anyone else notice that Destiny seemed to have lost her eyebrows? I couldn't listen to her talk because I was too busy staring at her forehead wondering if she'd had a grill-lighting or fireplace accident. Knope, love what you had to say about Natalie!

She made him cry today!

She made him cry!

Goooooooo Natalie! My hero.

"Heroine" Natalie has never worked for me. "Bad ass" Natalie would have been awesome but at this point, I'm totally over the character and the actress. Send Nats packing and let her take John and pocket cop Brody with her.

I want more crazy ass Jess/Tess/Bess goodness!

(Oh, and bring back my sexy Mitch Laurence -- that man has got it going on!)

I'm so with you all on Natalie. She worked well with John in the past, but this time she has been so pathetic! Not at all the firebrand she used to be. It WAS awesome, though, to see John totally lose his cool for once. And Nat was pretty good with the emotion too - usually I look to Jess for the stellar breakdown scenes, but this whole thing had it going on!

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